"iM NoT SaYiNg i don’T cRy....BuT iN BeTWeeN...i LauGh...."

Mar 03, 2005 22:28




well today was yet again another day...came home and cleaned the house cause the rest of my family is going to my sisters cheerleading competition... im staying here and working sat and sun 9-5... went to soddys council meetng..was only like  30 mins so thats not bad at all... came home and started reading crap for blockbuster guidebook thing... Dean gave me his End of Heartache cd because" their lead singer sucks" he has no musical tatse.. he says metalicas drummer beats mike portnoy... blah i wont even get started on that... :) umm that was pretty cool...  had this big talk wioth my mom and dad..been having those lately.. apprently they are worried about me becasue i never share anyting with them they think that i hate life and evryone and that i hold it ll in and im going to explode..some of which is true to a certain degree... but i dont hate life... and i get my frustration out through creatove outlets... i dunno.. every time i talk with them its get me wonderign..i question myself... am i depressed??? do i wanna just die... but i realise that the few things and people i care about are worth living for and God has a plann for my life even if i cant see it right now.. i dont no who knows the story but i should be dead right now..im not apparently.. and i think its because God has somethign for me to do.. one day ill know... sry im rambling... makes sense in my head... well i got to go...i may put more on later.... dont worry abut me anyone..im doing ok... just working through some stuff.. nothing that i havent been dealing with for almost a year now.. im just expressing it more now.. im really ok... man this sounds like im really losing it and hope it doesnt sound worse than it is.. i mean my life isnt bad.. im pretty well off... and hate complaining cause its not that bad.. well im going to bed...gnite....

<3 sEaN
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