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yes...no....i don't really know sir? i just keep thinking of those white elephants & nights spent drunk in an old automobile. i keep thinking of that look she would get in her eyes as she tugged at my shirt looking up at me & smiling. those white elephants & the nights spent sitting on those large rocks by the ocean spilling my secrets & watching as she accepted me. feeling her body tense up at the mention of my heart getting broken. feeling her body loosen when i would remind her she really did exist. we were young & reckless but we didn't know ourselves, it's probably what i regret most. that...& never stopping to see those sheep by the water, those sheep that she said reminded her of some story read her back in high-school. "tomorrow i will drown by the lighthouse, for everyone to see" were my last words to my cat as i walked out the door that morning. to think, a cat being the last person i chose to talk to. i wanted my body to shine under the lighthouse light, i would be bloated & white like the white elephants she spoke of...yes, i know this was a criminal act. things happen. we move on or at least pretend to. oh yes, i'll follow you.