Sooo...
I looked in the mirror today... and thought about taking one of those skin cutting knives from my anatomy class and going across my throat... I could have a hook, needle, and fishing string if I decided dying was a bad idea. oh anatomy, you are the ultimate class for teaching how to commit suicide. How funny. Yeah i thought about it... just made me cry more then i already have thought... because all hope would have been lost... not that there was hope to begin with...
I don't believe in hope... dreams... and now I don't even believe in a future... I wasted 7 years of my life thinking I would be an artist, then one imagining myself helping people through therapy.
but how the FUCK CAN I HELP PEOPLE WHEN I CAN'T EVEN HELP MYSELF :D AHAHAHAHAHAHA ISN'T THAT A HILARIOUS THOUGHT!? the first characteristic for someone to be a therapist is someone who's emotionally stable! YET I GET SO DEPRESSED ALL THE TIME! LOL TO THINK I HAD A CHANCE!
I can't draw, I can't write a story, i can't be sexy, and I can't help people. WHAT DO I HAVE IN MY LIFE? WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO NOW???
"You're an amazing cosplayer and friend D: " YEAH! that's EVERY GOD DAMN THING when people just NEVER FUCKING TALK TO YOU! AN COSPLAY WILL GE ME EVERYWHERE IN LIFE! HAH!!!!!!!
I just see nothing for me in the future, because EVERYTHING IS BEING TAKEN AWAY! MY ART, MY FRIENDS, MY FUCKING LOVE, MY COMPASSION! IT'S ALL EITHER BURNING OR GOING TO FUCKING BURN IN HELL!
WHO WAS I TO THINK THAT I COULD ACTUALLY HAVE FRIENDS? WHO WAS I TO THINK I HAD SKILLS? WHO THE FUCK AM I!?
God, why don't I just end it. am I afraid people would "miss me?" WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT ME? WHO THE FUCK SHOULD I HAVE CARE ABOUT ME WHEN I MOVE???
...
I'm considering just... stopping,.. I want to stop... I want to just lay in bed for the rest of my life... might as well be dead... but love hurts so bad...
I don't believe in hope... dreams... and now I don't even believe in a future... I wasted 7 years of my life thinking I would be an artist, then one imagining myself helping people through therapy.
but how the FUCK CAN I HELP PEOPLE WHEN I CAN'T EVEN HELP MYSELF :D AHAHAHAHAHAHA ISN'T THAT A HILARIOUS THOUGHT!? the first characteristic for someone to be a therapist is someone who's emotionally stable! YET I GET SO DEPRESSED ALL THE TIME! LOL TO THINK I HAD A CHANCE!
I can't draw, I can't write a story, i can't be sexy, and I can't help people. WHAT DO I HAVE IN MY LIFE? WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO NOW???
"You're an amazing cosplayer and friend D: " YEAH! that's EVERY GOD DAMN THING when people just NEVER FUCKING TALK TO YOU! AN COSPLAY WILL GE ME EVERYWHERE IN LIFE! HAH!!!!!!!
I just see nothing for me in the future, because EVERYTHING IS BEING TAKEN AWAY! MY ART, MY FRIENDS, MY FUCKING LOVE, MY COMPASSION! IT'S ALL EITHER BURNING OR GOING TO FUCKING BURN IN HELL!
WHO WAS I TO THINK THAT I COULD ACTUALLY HAVE FRIENDS? WHO WAS I TO THINK I HAD SKILLS? WHO THE FUCK AM I!?
God, why don't I just end it. am I afraid people would "miss me?" WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT ME? WHO THE FUCK SHOULD I HAVE CARE ABOUT ME WHEN I MOVE???
...
I'm considering just... stopping,.. I want to stop... I want to just lay in bed for the rest of my life... might as well be dead... but love hurts so bad...