I can't get a break...

[simple_saul]

I just wanna stab myself in the fucking eye some days... I want to get out of this house... out of this town... just fuck the whole state. i hate everything. no lie... I can't just be happy when I talk to people. there's always a problem. problem with me. problem with grandma. problem with everything... lol and after what I've seen of so many futures I just don't want to go further... I won't kill myself. Im too chicken shit. too caring... though that's probably a narcissistic thought. who he hell really *needs* me?

I just don't know what to do... .___. ... lol and mom probably won't ge me depression help still. HAH I'M SCREWED! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHA

lol good things?... spain has a sexy voice... aaaand... um... um... gonna see andy tomorrow...