you've given me a reason to love you. a reason to be here.
today really has been intense.
i've been a little upset because of the breakup but mostly relieved. when you know it's not going to work, it's really hard to sustain a relationship.
so, to this day i have experienced two extremes. i have experienced the guy who i have absolutely nothing in common with, the guy that keeps things to himself and is somewhat secretive, even when i can see through the lies.. and then i have dated the guy who is the ultimate nice guy.. the one who wouldn't hurt a fly, the one who would never lie and the one that i have pretty much everything in common with. neither of which worked out.
so, i guess you could say that i'm in search of a happy medium. it can't be that hard, right? i'm thinking i will find him in one of my health related classes. i'm thinking he's not too short and he's not too tall.. and he has messy brown hair and brown eyes and kind of looks like he's always a little lost (like me). oh, and his penis is neither too small nor too big. "goldie cocks" as nick so nicely (yet accurately) put it.
aggressive isn't something that i usually am, but nick, fabe, two of fabe's friends and sara all pretty much told me that if i'm not aggressive i will never get what i want.
so here i am, picking myself up after walking around with cry-eyes all day, being overwhelmed at work, coming home to an insane amount of homework (none of which i have started), and spilling boiling water all over my pinky and thumb. here i am, going for what i believe is rightfully mine and realizing that maybe my trust issues didn't stem from my family, but from experiences of my own.
here's a list of things that i love in my life, just as a reminder to myself:
- sara, who i always laugh and have an amazing time with whether it be a road trip or a trip down the street to a grocery store.
- nicky, who can and does always cheer me up and who comforts me at all times. the other day he told me that he has a dry shoulder that i can cry on... which in and of itself made me want to cry. LOL.
- laura, who i can totally pig out with, be bitchy with, and always have good times.
- any and all of my other friends for being amazing and for being there for me. i love you all!
- my dad for being the best dad anyone could ever ask for. he loves me, he protects me, he provides for me, he inspires me and i will always love him with all of my heart and always be his little girl.
- my mom for being a great mother and teaching me how to be the person that i am today. also, for being a strong woman role model for me.
- my little brother... for being my amazing little brother who i fight with, play with, exchange advice with, and just be with. he's my brother and will always be one of my best friends.
so you see.. i have no reason to be sad because a relationship i had fell apart for what feels like the millionth time.
it's obvious i'm lucky to be me.
i've been a little upset because of the breakup but mostly relieved. when you know it's not going to work, it's really hard to sustain a relationship.
so, to this day i have experienced two extremes. i have experienced the guy who i have absolutely nothing in common with, the guy that keeps things to himself and is somewhat secretive, even when i can see through the lies.. and then i have dated the guy who is the ultimate nice guy.. the one who wouldn't hurt a fly, the one who would never lie and the one that i have pretty much everything in common with. neither of which worked out.
so, i guess you could say that i'm in search of a happy medium. it can't be that hard, right? i'm thinking i will find him in one of my health related classes. i'm thinking he's not too short and he's not too tall.. and he has messy brown hair and brown eyes and kind of looks like he's always a little lost (like me). oh, and his penis is neither too small nor too big. "goldie cocks" as nick so nicely (yet accurately) put it.
aggressive isn't something that i usually am, but nick, fabe, two of fabe's friends and sara all pretty much told me that if i'm not aggressive i will never get what i want.
so here i am, picking myself up after walking around with cry-eyes all day, being overwhelmed at work, coming home to an insane amount of homework (none of which i have started), and spilling boiling water all over my pinky and thumb. here i am, going for what i believe is rightfully mine and realizing that maybe my trust issues didn't stem from my family, but from experiences of my own.
here's a list of things that i love in my life, just as a reminder to myself:
- sara, who i always laugh and have an amazing time with whether it be a road trip or a trip down the street to a grocery store.
- nicky, who can and does always cheer me up and who comforts me at all times. the other day he told me that he has a dry shoulder that i can cry on... which in and of itself made me want to cry. LOL.
- laura, who i can totally pig out with, be bitchy with, and always have good times.
- any and all of my other friends for being amazing and for being there for me. i love you all!
- my dad for being the best dad anyone could ever ask for. he loves me, he protects me, he provides for me, he inspires me and i will always love him with all of my heart and always be his little girl.
- my mom for being a great mother and teaching me how to be the person that i am today. also, for being a strong woman role model for me.
- my little brother... for being my amazing little brother who i fight with, play with, exchange advice with, and just be with. he's my brother and will always be one of my best friends.
so you see.. i have no reason to be sad because a relationship i had fell apart for what feels like the millionth time.
it's obvious i'm lucky to be me.