Anxiety.
"Wow, this dude looks like he's celebrating a birthday, too!"
"Ha! Not for a long time!"
"Yeah? But, dude, you look like you're totally out of it and about to crash."
_______________
Sigh.
So, what do we think of the idea of "Chris Mullins: honors student?"
I am much too fickle to actually stick to a single topic of research for a full year. I move much too easily from one idea to another and quickly find myself bored with whatever meager topic of interest I currently have at hand. But, when I came here, I promised myself this was something I would do.
And I want to do it. But I guess what really scares me is the issue of can I do it? And not, "Can I write x pages on one thing?" but rather, "Can I actually stay interested in something that long?" I am fickle and shallow with my connections, and remain doubtful as to my ability to actually stay interested.
This is one place in which I have not matured: I only want something until I have it. Once it's in my grasp, it looses its luster and is tossed aside for something just as ephemeral; just as fleeting.
"Ha! Not for a long time!"
"Yeah? But, dude, you look like you're totally out of it and about to crash."
_______________
Sigh.
So, what do we think of the idea of "Chris Mullins: honors student?"
I am much too fickle to actually stick to a single topic of research for a full year. I move much too easily from one idea to another and quickly find myself bored with whatever meager topic of interest I currently have at hand. But, when I came here, I promised myself this was something I would do.
And I want to do it. But I guess what really scares me is the issue of can I do it? And not, "Can I write x pages on one thing?" but rather, "Can I actually stay interested in something that long?" I am fickle and shallow with my connections, and remain doubtful as to my ability to actually stay interested.
This is one place in which I have not matured: I only want something until I have it. Once it's in my grasp, it looses its luster and is tossed aside for something just as ephemeral; just as fleeting.