the deens legacy 7.1
Last time, Sam was a creep and royally hacked off Lyle Marx (legendarysims ) by destroying a wood carving of Rumbleroar. Lyle found love in the arms of Yara Parvenu (ohsims ). In a desperate attempt to keep Lyle to himself, Sam created the babynator and successfully created two children with Lyle - Thomas and Uriah. Yara foiled Sam's plans to create a third Lyle spawn by interfering with the experiment but in the process caused a third child to be created with her DNA - Van. Lyle then went BACK TO DA FUTUREEEE and took Yara with him.
On a slightly related note, I wonder if eventually Sam will be able to make bear wood carvings. I want to decorate the whole house in them.
OK GOOD! NOW WE'RE ALL UP TO SPEED.
Thus far, Sam's parenting skills have been quite lacking, not least because balancing your baby on your arm like waiters balance plates doesn't seem like a very safe way to hold your son.
Sam: OH BERTRAM. Do you think you could come here for a moment please?
Bertram: Yes, Master Sam?
Sam: Do you think you could hold this one for a bit, too? I need to run into town for a few errands, and I'm supposed to meet up with Quincey.
Bertram: Master Sam, I'm already holding young Master Thomas. I don't believe it would be safe-
Sam: Just balance him on your arm like I do. Try it.
Bertram: Like this? I'm not so sure about this...
Sam: No, you're doing perfect. Now here, take Uriah, too. I'll be back in a while.
Noble was confused about the arrival of babies in the house. After all, she'd never seen Sam on a date or express interest in a woman before.
Noble: Oh well. I don't care how he got them. At least I got my grandbabies!
Meeting up with Quincey actually entailed meeting her at the salon so she could try out her newfound Stylist hobby on him.
Quincey: So tell me, little brother, what exactly are you looking for?
Sam: I was thinking something a little more dad-ly, if you know what I mean. Professional or somesuch. I need a new look now that Lyle is gone.
Quincey: Don't worry. I know just the thing.
Sam: A suit? I suppose it's not too bad. It does make my butt look fabu, and the red and blue match my glasses quite nicely.
Quincey: I'm not done with you yet.
Sam: Thanks, Quincey.
Sam: KEEP YOUR DAMN SUIT I REFUSE TO CONFORMMM
Quincey: You're welcome, little bro. Anytime. Now, Hobo Hank, teach your craft to me. The ripped shirt. The unshaven face. The greasy hair! It's all too perfect. How do you pull it off?
Hobo Hank: Well, missus, dig around in the trash until I find something usable, sleep under a newspaper in the park for a few days, and combine it with a heaping dose of not giving a damn how you look. That's how I do it.
Quincey: Brilliant.
Sam: It seems like I am forgetting something extremely important but for the life of me I can't remember what it is.
Sam: I somehow don't think this was it. Sir, I wish you would put down that machine. I do not wish to be injected with a tiny microchip so the government can track my every move.
Tattoo Artiste: Kid, you paid me for this tattoo. You're getting it. Now sit still. I'm almost finished.
Sam: You may have won this time, Mayor Parvenu-Deens of Bridgeport city proper, but I will not keep quiet about this injustice.
Tattoo Artiste: Kid, your dad is mayor! You know what? Forget it. No amount of money is enough for me to stay in this building with you for another second.
And so Sam went home to brood over what the important thing it was that he had forgotten.
Meanwhile, Quincey was trying out the tips she'd learned from Hobo Hank.
Buffy: I'M HIDEOUS
Quincey: Well, my work here is done.
Back at home, the usual was happening. Noble and Bertram were taking care of the screaming children.
Karst was busy playing piano to the columns outside of City Hall.
Karst: I would do anything for love~
And Sam was busy being Sam.
Noble: Son, do you think you could come and hold your son for a bit?
Sam: Not now, mother. I just remember something very important I needed to do.
Sam: I've got to eat this whole plate of lobster before it goes bad.
Sam does at least make something of an effort. He's down in the dungeon-turned-nursery most of the time.
Sam: Mother, they're screaming again. Can't you make them stop?
Noble: You're poor old mother is already tired from taking care of your children. Why don't you come over here and help change some diapers?
Sam: But mother-
Noble: I wasn't asking. You've watched me do this enough. You should be able to figure it out.
Sam: Fine.
Sam: This shouldn't bee too hard. Let's see. First you pick them up and hold them like this.
Sam: And then you lift them into the air and then.... I DON'T KNOW. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT BERTRAM
Bertram: You spin them, Master Sam, and their diaper changes. Here, watch as I change young Master Van.
Sam: No, that's ok. You've got this pretty much under control.
Soon (but not soon enough) it was time for the boys' birthday.
Sam: HA! Now you have to learn to do things for yourself.
Noble: Not if he takes after you.
Sam is oblivious of Thomas's unhappiness.
But at least he showed up for the candle extinguishing, unlike with Uriah.
Bertram: Don't worry, Master Uriah. Your father means well.
But as for poor Van, nobody stuck around for his birthday, except for Karst.
Karst, who promptly carried Van outside and left him to have his birthday all on his lonesome.
Bertram: I am sorry I am late to your cake extinguishing, Master Van. I was putting young Thomas and Uriah to bed. I will now blow a party favor in your honor.
Sam: Bertram, do you think you could put Van to bed. I just remembered something else important I need to do.
Sam: Hm, this room is almost too tidy. I believe I need to mess up the sheets and put some laundry on the floor for Bertram. He likes picking up, after all.
Bertram's look. It is withering.
The boys get along as well as they can for not being able to talk very well to one another yet.
But I've always liked to imagine that babies have their own secret language or something like on Rugrats, which is more entertaining, so let's stick with that.
Thomas: Hey Uriah, do you like my horse? It is a pretty sweet horse. I bet you are jealous. Do you want to come play with it?
Uriah: Yeah!
Thomas: Well, too bad! You should have gotten it first!
Thomas: Hey, Van. Check out my sweet horse! I bet you wish you had a toy as cool as this.
Van: No, that's ok. I like my blocks.
Uriah: Wow, Van. These blocks are fun.
Van: I know! I bet Thomas is totally jealous.
Thomas: I am not.
Uriah: What are you doing? You wouldn't share with us.
Van: Yeah, what about your awesome horse?
Thomas: I felt guilty. I'm just keeping you two company.
Sam: This room. It is too dark and too Quincey.
Sam: Lyle's children deserve to grow up in a classier environment than this.
Sam: Much better.
Sam expected great things out of Lyle's children, so he bought them all xylophones in the hopes that one day they would become great musicians. He even bought one for Van so he wouldn't feel left out and hoped that his brothers' innate talent would rub off on him.
Of course Sam left it up to the rest of the adults in the house to play with them.
But Sam wasn't entirely useless! He did trap the children in the high chair and feed them disgusting but nutritious gruel occasionally.
Van: What is this? Is it oatmeal? Aren't I too young to eat oatmeal?
Bertram did a good job of making up for Sam's inadequacies, though. He spent more time with the kids than actually cleaning the house.
But Bertram was uneasy. Soon his contract would be up, and he worried what would happen to the household if he wasn't around to guide Sam and help raise the kids. The household would fall apart.
So after a quick detour to make Sam's bed...
Bertram decided to sit down and have a little chat with Sam.
Bertram: So as you are probably aware, my contract with your family will run out soon, Master Sam. I will have to leave your home, and I may be frank, I am quite worried about the state of your household once I leave. Case in point: that dirty dish that you have left on the table since early this morning.
Sam: Bertie, I have been wondering... where do buttles come from? How are you made?
Bertram: Butlers, Master Sam. And that is an interesting question, but perhaps not the most pressing issue at this point in time.
Sam: You could always keep living here if you didn't want to go back tot he buttles factory. You have been a good buttles, Bertie, and I don't want to trade you in for a newer model. You are very good with the boys.
Bertram: Though your point is fraught with inaccuracies, I have to admit that I am quite delighted that you would offer me a permanent position in your household! I am sure the young masters will be delighted as well.
...
Bertram: Perhaps I should rethink this decision after all.
Sam is, of course, very helpfully staying out of Bertram's way.
Bertram: You will be pleased to know that I am going to be living here from now on, Young Master Van.
Bertram: Oh, their smiling faces warm the cockles of my heart~
As you can see by the multiple costume changes, Bertram was largely in charge of teaching the kids their skills.
Karst did step in to help out for his favorite little champ in between serenading city hall.
Bertram eventually guilted Sam into teaching Van how to talk.
Sam: Look, kid. I'm not happy about this. I have important television to watch today. It's Oprah's big prize giveaway day, so let's get this show on the road.
Van obviously cared about his father's TV schedule as he was more interested in staring at the pictures on the wall instead of talking.
This did create a ~bonding moment~ for the two boys though as Sam got to tell Van all about the father he might have been cool enough to have.
Sam: Maybe this parenting thing isn't all shitty diapers after all.
Quick note of interest: Sam has now taken up sculpting and carries around a chisel 27/7 a la pauselegacy 's Locke Pause. IT'S CATCHING.
Noble: Oh, Ross, dear! How nice of you to come visit your elderly mother. You always were a sweet boy.
Ross: I'm here because your butler invited me to a birthday party.
Noble: Way to crush your mother's dreams, son.
Ross: Thank you. I do try my best.
Hoyt: Will you two move this elsewhere? You're blocking the dim sum.
Clementine (legendarysims ): So, your boys are growing up! You must be so proud.
Sam: Well, they are pretty boss at that xylophone.
Raphael (kaloslegacy ): Quincey, you have got to try this dim dum Bertram made. It is simply divine.
Quincey: Would you like some while I am in the kitchen, Clementine?
Ross: Don't do it, Clem! Remember what I told you about her killer salads.
Clementine: Ross, I'm worried about your brother waving that thing around with our kid in the house. What if he accidentally hits Oscar with it?
Ross: Relax, honey. He'll be fine.
Oscar: Well you can relax, but I won't. I didn't even want to come to this stupid party in the first place. This is lame. Everyone here is old and there's nothing fun to do, and you losers are all blocking the TV by dancing in front of it. What am I supposed to do for entertainment, then?
Karst: My Princess! I haven't seen you in so long!
Quincey: I'm sorry for not visiting sooner, daddy. I've been very busy with work and raising Hoyt-
Karst: It's ok, pumpkin! I understand that you've grown up! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find Bertram. it's time to blow out the candles.
Meanwhile, Oscar had found a way to entertain himself.
Oscar: Bring me more toys, my tiny little slaves!
It does not surprise me that Bertram is the one to bring Van to the cake.
And Karst, of course, took Thomas. At least Sam showed up for two of them this time even if he did laugh at them. Nobody else cared.
Thomas: Ugh, what the hell kind of hairstyle is this? I don't think it properly captures my cool vibe.
Everyone did show up to laugh at Uriah, little comfort though it may be.
Van: Yay! Happy birthday to me!
Everyone: LOL URIAH
Bertram: Excuse me for being frank, but to use the terminology young people employ these days, you are all "messed up."
Ross: Boo! Sam, your party blows.
Van: Ugh, screw you guys. I'm eating my cake somewhere else.
And so he did.
I lol'd at this hairstyle. Uriah gets to keep it.
All three boys grew up into the inappropriate trait.
Meanwhile, Karst decided that it would be best to move into a larger household now that the boys had grown a bit. Also, he had been promoted to vice president and wanted a treat for himself.
So they all packed their things and piled into the same cab to move from being halfway up the hill to being only a quarter of the way up the hill.
At this point I realized that I forgot to grab the graves. I am so glad you don't have to send your sim back to pick them up. XD
NEXT TIME: THE WONDERCHILDHOOD YEARS~~~
NOW IT IS TIME FOR A TOUR OF THE NEW HOUSE
I started building this house long before Sam spawns. I was hoping for a girl or two, obviously. Right now, Bertram lives in this room. I will probably remodel it later. Maybe.
Upstairs is Thomas and Uriah's room.
Sam's room. XD
Art area. Noble is obviously too worried that they haven't left any dirty dishes for Bertram to clean yet to notice this.
Van gets his own room but for some reason has been insisting on sleeping in the same room as Bertram. Maybe he likes pink.
Across from the art area is the reading area.
The camera is actually sitting in the hallway here. In this picture, Thomas and Uriah's room is behind the wall on the right side of the screen. Van's is behind the wall on the left side.
Downstairs is the kitchen/dining area. The stairs here lead up to the foyer.
The one problem I've had with doing split level on this house is getting the light sources on the lower level to match the upper level. If anyone has tips on how to fix this, I would greatly appreciate it.
Living room.
Sam: I am not sure what to think about this. I don't like change.