When words can't explain it....
I finished reading MYSTIC RIVER....Great book! I have kinda been in this book wormy phase that I really haven't been in since the summer before 9th grade...I love the feeling. When you just get lost and wound up in all the characters...You can escape reality--it really is so much better than television!
Anyway, the second day on MYSTIC RIVER I came across a passage that brought me back to that Tuesday in September...and just when I thought I could forget that feeling, it all came rushing back to me and now I can recall it as if it were yesterday. So Dennis Lehane (author) put the feelings I felt that day into words for me. The feelings that I have NEVER been able to explain to anyone (or explain well enough that they could really understand). I read it over and over again...and I cried. I actually cried long and hard...God damn!, I kept thinking...This is it...This is what it felt like...The words have been here, in this book, all along!
I felt so relieved...I don't know why--But it was a weight lifted off my shoulders--maybe cause I can explain it better now...Maybe because I was forgetting...who knows.
So here it is folks...The words I have been looking for. This first one is the feeling I got when I was in my apartment and heard the sirens...The second one is what I was feeling in the parking lot as they were loading my Dad into the back of the ambulance....
"You felt it in your soul, no place else. You felt the truth there sometimes--beyond logic--and you were usually right if it was a type of truth that was the exact kind you didn't want to face, weren't sure you could..."
"..felt that mean certainty drive nails through his shoes and plant him in place even though he wanted more than anything to run, run as fast as he ever had, do anything but stand there...The nails found his chest, a fat, cold grouping of them as if shot from a cannon, and he wanted to shut his eyes but they were nailed, too, nailed wide open..."
Shit...They are close...VERY close. But now...as I write them...I don't know if they are enough.
Sleep well, and don't forget to tell your family and friends you love them...Never know when the last time will come.
Love you all,
Nic
Anyway, the second day on MYSTIC RIVER I came across a passage that brought me back to that Tuesday in September...and just when I thought I could forget that feeling, it all came rushing back to me and now I can recall it as if it were yesterday. So Dennis Lehane (author) put the feelings I felt that day into words for me. The feelings that I have NEVER been able to explain to anyone (or explain well enough that they could really understand). I read it over and over again...and I cried. I actually cried long and hard...God damn!, I kept thinking...This is it...This is what it felt like...The words have been here, in this book, all along!
I felt so relieved...I don't know why--But it was a weight lifted off my shoulders--maybe cause I can explain it better now...Maybe because I was forgetting...who knows.
So here it is folks...The words I have been looking for. This first one is the feeling I got when I was in my apartment and heard the sirens...The second one is what I was feeling in the parking lot as they were loading my Dad into the back of the ambulance....
"You felt it in your soul, no place else. You felt the truth there sometimes--beyond logic--and you were usually right if it was a type of truth that was the exact kind you didn't want to face, weren't sure you could..."
"..felt that mean certainty drive nails through his shoes and plant him in place even though he wanted more than anything to run, run as fast as he ever had, do anything but stand there...The nails found his chest, a fat, cold grouping of them as if shot from a cannon, and he wanted to shut his eyes but they were nailed, too, nailed wide open..."
Shit...They are close...VERY close. But now...as I write them...I don't know if they are enough.
Sleep well, and don't forget to tell your family and friends you love them...Never know when the last time will come.
Love you all,
Nic