My ex broke up with me all over again
It's like my ex boyfriend is breaking up with me all over again. And I will get into that in a moment. And I promised myself that I will not hate that girl Maria that I work with who was from Russia because none of this is her fault I'm just projecting my feelings of hatred for his ex Maria onto my Russian co-workers also tall and skinny and beautiful. And none of this is her fault even if she ends up becoming like the boss which will most likely not happen but that's just a fantasy I have right now. Or can I call it a fantasy and I'm just projecting my feelings? Onto a really s***** situation? Anyway...
I title this new one "Sexual Validation"
One little kiss for the broken hearted
before we parted ways and
what was your name again?
I know it doesn't matter,
you came here to do the deed.
I knew what this was for,
and for me it was a bit more,
had to use it as something
other than your attempt
at a cum dumpster. **
So sexual validation.
One last reminder that
I still got it,
I can still get it,
that some piece of s*** ex-boyfriend
in Hamilton does not define me who I am.
That I poured my love into you for two
and a half years only for you to turn around
and tell me
that wasn't enough.
that you never really were over her.
And yet I always knew.
I blame myself for not
slapping myself in the face with the truth
over and over again
until I left you
while I still had some of my youth.
I took it upon myself to shoulder
the responsibility of your health.
I devoted my time to caring for you
feeding you, cleaning your messes
to prove to you and to myself that
I could still love like the best of them.
The benefit was yours to be had.
You now know how it feels
to receive unconditional love,
so you can ask for it from someone who
dumped you because your shit doesn't work.
(After I promised I would never leave you for that...)
When you love somebody,
I mean really love somebody,
you don't lead them on for two and a half years,
feed them your hopes dreams and fears
only to let them down
That you never got around
To getting over your ex love affair
And you swear
you won't move out there
that you won't accept her love unless
it's like the love I gave you,
Well, fucker,
You only learn to love like this
after never having it in your life
So I hope you find what you need,
But there is no guarantee
She will love you so freely even
After you pack up your life for her.
I'll never say, "she won't ever
love you like I do."
I love you too much for that.
I hope that you find your new life in Seattle to be perfect.
And while you tell me that this is just
for closure, I can't believe that.
I believe that if this is the one true love that you have,
you'll give anything in the world to have it.
Because I'm not fucking stupid either.
But I do find the last act I did for you,
taking your garbage out,
to represent that was what was the truth
of our relationship. Me taking care of you
and cleaning up your messes.
Meanwhile I still remain a Beautiful Mess inside.
so that only could you stay with me for two and a half years
but we ended up being friends for a year or longer and
even though you knew about this opportunity in the summer you didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to stop seeing me because he value our friendship that much. Except obviously if you valued your friendship you would have told me in the summertime allow me to soak up that hurt and absorb it better than a week before you're going Seattle.
I title this new one "Sexual Validation"
One little kiss for the broken hearted
before we parted ways and
what was your name again?
I know it doesn't matter,
you came here to do the deed.
I knew what this was for,
and for me it was a bit more,
had to use it as something
other than your attempt
at a cum dumpster. **
So sexual validation.
One last reminder that
I still got it,
I can still get it,
that some piece of s*** ex-boyfriend
in Hamilton does not define me who I am.
That I poured my love into you for two
and a half years only for you to turn around
and tell me
that wasn't enough.
that you never really were over her.
And yet I always knew.
I blame myself for not
slapping myself in the face with the truth
over and over again
until I left you
while I still had some of my youth.
I took it upon myself to shoulder
the responsibility of your health.
I devoted my time to caring for you
feeding you, cleaning your messes
to prove to you and to myself that
I could still love like the best of them.
The benefit was yours to be had.
You now know how it feels
to receive unconditional love,
so you can ask for it from someone who
dumped you because your shit doesn't work.
(After I promised I would never leave you for that...)
When you love somebody,
I mean really love somebody,
you don't lead them on for two and a half years,
feed them your hopes dreams and fears
only to let them down
That you never got around
To getting over your ex love affair
And you swear
you won't move out there
that you won't accept her love unless
it's like the love I gave you,
Well, fucker,
You only learn to love like this
after never having it in your life
So I hope you find what you need,
But there is no guarantee
She will love you so freely even
After you pack up your life for her.
I'll never say, "she won't ever
love you like I do."
I love you too much for that.
I hope that you find your new life in Seattle to be perfect.
And while you tell me that this is just
for closure, I can't believe that.
I believe that if this is the one true love that you have,
you'll give anything in the world to have it.
Because I'm not fucking stupid either.
But I do find the last act I did for you,
taking your garbage out,
to represent that was what was the truth
of our relationship. Me taking care of you
and cleaning up your messes.
Meanwhile I still remain a Beautiful Mess inside.
so that only could you stay with me for two and a half years
but we ended up being friends for a year or longer and
even though you knew about this opportunity in the summer you didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to stop seeing me because he value our friendship that much. Except obviously if you valued your friendship you would have told me in the summertime allow me to soak up that hurt and absorb it better than a week before you're going Seattle.