Life sucks..
Why wont it leave me alone?
I try each and every day God sends to try and fix it but I can't.
All that happens is it gets worse!
The past few weeks have been seriously sucky.
I'm sick and tired of living behind this stupid façade. It's really getting on my last nerve.
I've been laying in bed trying to fight it but it wont.
Why wont the past just move on and stop haunting me? Everything these days just keeps on bringing it up. ALL THE BLOODY TIME!
Once a month or so I could cope with. But weekly? Even daily? I can't live like this.
I hate repeats. Even watching them on TV is annoying. But when they happen in your own life, when everything just repeats itself. Stuff from the past. Stuff you'd beat yourself up until you'd forgotten it. It still comes back.
I've been trying to take comfort in small things that remind me of who I am. Where I came from and how happy I once was. Living in blissful ignorance. Perched happily in Mr. Simon land where everything that happened outside of it never got in. I'm 21 now. Mr. Simon land got invaded and taken over. It's now a trendy wine bar!
I feel so down lately and I can't think of any way that would fix it.
I reakon I could probably fix the whole situation out on Monday with a few carefuly placed phone calls and an email or two. Monday is still two whole days away though! A lot can change in two days...
I think this pretty much sums up how I'm feeling at the moment:
I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
I don't care 'cause I'm not there
And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow
Again and again I've taken too much
Of the things that cost you too much
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun...
When I was a very small boy,
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we've grown up together
They're afraid of what they see
That's the price that we all pay
Our valued destiny comes to nothing
I can't tell you where we're going
I guess there was just no way of knowing
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun...
I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
The chances are we've gone too far
You took my time and you took my money
Now I fear you've left me standing
In a world that's so demanding
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun...
I hate feeling so Emo. It's been a helluva long time since I last felt this bad. I keep telling myself it will be all ok and that everything will get sorted. How can I lie to myself when I'm the one who has to sort it?
Gwarsh!
Anyway, Dad wants me to meet this new one he's seeing or, more commonly known in my house as "V2".
I don't particularly feel up to it at the moment. I have too much on my plate to deal with him and her as well.
Anyway. I apologise for the long boring somewhat incoherent entry.
I guess I'll go and try to sleep again or something.
See you in the funny pages!
I try each and every day God sends to try and fix it but I can't.
All that happens is it gets worse!
The past few weeks have been seriously sucky.
I'm sick and tired of living behind this stupid façade. It's really getting on my last nerve.
I've been laying in bed trying to fight it but it wont.
Why wont the past just move on and stop haunting me? Everything these days just keeps on bringing it up. ALL THE BLOODY TIME!
Once a month or so I could cope with. But weekly? Even daily? I can't live like this.
I hate repeats. Even watching them on TV is annoying. But when they happen in your own life, when everything just repeats itself. Stuff from the past. Stuff you'd beat yourself up until you'd forgotten it. It still comes back.
I've been trying to take comfort in small things that remind me of who I am. Where I came from and how happy I once was. Living in blissful ignorance. Perched happily in Mr. Simon land where everything that happened outside of it never got in. I'm 21 now. Mr. Simon land got invaded and taken over. It's now a trendy wine bar!
I feel so down lately and I can't think of any way that would fix it.
I reakon I could probably fix the whole situation out on Monday with a few carefuly placed phone calls and an email or two. Monday is still two whole days away though! A lot can change in two days...
I think this pretty much sums up how I'm feeling at the moment:
I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
I don't care 'cause I'm not there
And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow
Again and again I've taken too much
Of the things that cost you too much
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun...
When I was a very small boy,
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we've grown up together
They're afraid of what they see
That's the price that we all pay
Our valued destiny comes to nothing
I can't tell you where we're going
I guess there was just no way of knowing
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun...
I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
The chances are we've gone too far
You took my time and you took my money
Now I fear you've left me standing
In a world that's so demanding
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun...
I hate feeling so Emo. It's been a helluva long time since I last felt this bad. I keep telling myself it will be all ok and that everything will get sorted. How can I lie to myself when I'm the one who has to sort it?
Gwarsh!
Anyway, Dad wants me to meet this new one he's seeing or, more commonly known in my house as "V2".
I don't particularly feel up to it at the moment. I have too much on my plate to deal with him and her as well.
Anyway. I apologise for the long boring somewhat incoherent entry.
I guess I'll go and try to sleep again or something.
See you in the funny pages!