Labour Leadership
In case you haven't heard, Brown is stepping down as Labour leader.
Well, GOOD!
He should never have been prime minister in the first place. If he hadn't been, Labour might actually have won that one!
Seriously, that was not a popular vote for the Conservatives, it was a popular vote against Gordon Brown.
I've never liked him, and I have never heard anyone say anything good about him (except possibly that he made a passable Chancellor of the Exchequer).
But... But... But... Who to replace him with?
Darling? Fuck that! Alastair Darling is about as unpopular as Brown.
Mandleson? Oh please gods and all the powers that be, NO!
Beckett? Hmm. Now there's a possibility. Margaret Beckett MP (Derby South). She was born Jackson, so she's probably a distant relative of mine! (My family comes from Derbyshire). I don't have any serious objections to her running the country. She has the experience - she joined Parliament in 1976 and has had a variety of jobs. on Labour Governments.
Harman? Most logical choice. Harriet Harman is currently deputy leader of the party and Leader of the House of Commons. She has plenty of experience too, and she's young enough to take on the "kids" currently running the other two parties.
Johnson? Meh. Alan Johnson has been such a wonderful home secretary that I didn't even recognise the name. Seriously, under Thatcher's government, the Cabinet Ministers were all household names. You either loved them or hated them (like Marmite) but you knew who the were. He looks a lot like Paddy Ashdown (former Lib-Dem leader) which is a point against him too. Photos of him make him look like one of those American TV evangelists who is secretly shagging two choirboys and the choirmaster's dog!
David Milliband? Ah-goooo! Seriously, when Blair was made leader of the party, Spitting Image showed him wearing a nappy (diaper to the Yanks) because he was so young. David Milliband is even younger! I also don't think he has the experience to run the country. Which effectively means Mandelson would be doing it for him. He does speak well though. If it had been a Tory landslide and we were in for five years of mismanagement, I would consider him, but as we are probably going to have another election within the next year or so, no.
Straw? Give me strength! Jack straw has the experience all right, and possibly even the strength of character to kick Mandie back upstairs (to the Lords), where he belongs and make him stay there! But Jack is getting on a bit. I seem to recall he was on the Opposition Front Bench when Thatcher was in power!
Hilary Benn? Yawn! Nuff sed.
Douglas Alexander? Another youngster. Young family. Needs to buy a spell-checker for his website! Do we really want someone running the country who can't spell "Time"?
John Denham? Mmmm. Now there's a thought. Held Southampton Itchen against strong opposition. I know the name. He reminds me of an "old style" Trade Union leader - he looks like he ought tey speak wi' a Yarksheer aksent, lahk! If I was a Party Member, I think he'd get my support! Just watching a speech he gave to the Party Conference, on You Tube. He's a good speaker. He doesn't have a Yorkshire accent, by the way!
Ed Balls? BWAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! Oh please,how can anyone take him seriously with a name like that!
Andy Burnham... Health Secretary. Comes across as something of a pervert as the opening lines of an interview on the net are about how he visited a breast cancer screening unit and a renal dialysis unit and found it really enjoyable!
Shaun Woodward. Northern Ireland Secretary? I'm not sure if it still holds true, but in the 80s NI was the post the PM gave to the one who stood against him at the last leadership contest! Political Graveyard!
Tessa Jowell? NO. Just... No!
Jim Murphy. Scottish Secretary. Hmmm. A Scot with an Irish name? No matter. He likes Hornby train sets. That gets him a HUGE plus from me. He can talk sensibly too. He is a possible!
Yvette Cooper? Mrs Balls? She is married to him but didn't take his name! Who can blame her... Except it serves her right for marrying him in the first place. Nope.
Liam Byrne looks far too much like William Vague Hague.
Peter Hain, Welsh Secretary, is too old. He would take the Labour Party back to Kinnockism. He'd probably re-nationalise the coal mines and re-open them!
Bob Ainsworth? Oh No. Oh god no. Worse than Hain. Tried listening to him and got bored in a matter of seconds.
Andrew Adonis? I think putting someone with the name Adonis in power is asking for trouble. Plus the man has been using his position as Transport Secretary to indulge his hobby as a train spotter, travelling around the country in an expensive publicity stunt.
Ben Bradshaw? Culture Secretary. Oh, and the man responsible for the next Transport Secretary committing suicide in two years time! Huh? He's also responsible for sports... Getting there? No? Olympics 2012? Major influx of foreigners onto a transport system already stretched to breaking point? Thank you so much, Mr Bradshaw. I'm booking a hotel somewhere a long way away from this country for those two weeks!
That's it, really. Unless there is a surprise choice from out of the back benches.
I think I'm going to email Mr Denham and suggest he go for it!
Well, GOOD!
He should never have been prime minister in the first place. If he hadn't been, Labour might actually have won that one!
Seriously, that was not a popular vote for the Conservatives, it was a popular vote against Gordon Brown.
I've never liked him, and I have never heard anyone say anything good about him (except possibly that he made a passable Chancellor of the Exchequer).
But... But... But... Who to replace him with?
Darling? Fuck that! Alastair Darling is about as unpopular as Brown.
Mandleson? Oh please gods and all the powers that be, NO!
Beckett? Hmm. Now there's a possibility. Margaret Beckett MP (Derby South). She was born Jackson, so she's probably a distant relative of mine! (My family comes from Derbyshire). I don't have any serious objections to her running the country. She has the experience - she joined Parliament in 1976 and has had a variety of jobs. on Labour Governments.
Harman? Most logical choice. Harriet Harman is currently deputy leader of the party and Leader of the House of Commons. She has plenty of experience too, and she's young enough to take on the "kids" currently running the other two parties.
Johnson? Meh. Alan Johnson has been such a wonderful home secretary that I didn't even recognise the name. Seriously, under Thatcher's government, the Cabinet Ministers were all household names. You either loved them or hated them (like Marmite) but you knew who the were. He looks a lot like Paddy Ashdown (former Lib-Dem leader) which is a point against him too. Photos of him make him look like one of those American TV evangelists who is secretly shagging two choirboys and the choirmaster's dog!
David Milliband? Ah-goooo! Seriously, when Blair was made leader of the party, Spitting Image showed him wearing a nappy (diaper to the Yanks) because he was so young. David Milliband is even younger! I also don't think he has the experience to run the country. Which effectively means Mandelson would be doing it for him. He does speak well though. If it had been a Tory landslide and we were in for five years of mismanagement, I would consider him, but as we are probably going to have another election within the next year or so, no.
Straw? Give me strength! Jack straw has the experience all right, and possibly even the strength of character to kick Mandie back upstairs (to the Lords), where he belongs and make him stay there! But Jack is getting on a bit. I seem to recall he was on the Opposition Front Bench when Thatcher was in power!
Hilary Benn? Yawn! Nuff sed.
Douglas Alexander? Another youngster. Young family. Needs to buy a spell-checker for his website! Do we really want someone running the country who can't spell "Time"?
John Denham? Mmmm. Now there's a thought. Held Southampton Itchen against strong opposition. I know the name. He reminds me of an "old style" Trade Union leader - he looks like he ought tey speak wi' a Yarksheer aksent, lahk! If I was a Party Member, I think he'd get my support! Just watching a speech he gave to the Party Conference, on You Tube. He's a good speaker. He doesn't have a Yorkshire accent, by the way!
Ed Balls? BWAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! Oh please,how can anyone take him seriously with a name like that!
Andy Burnham... Health Secretary. Comes across as something of a pervert as the opening lines of an interview on the net are about how he visited a breast cancer screening unit and a renal dialysis unit and found it really enjoyable!
Shaun Woodward. Northern Ireland Secretary? I'm not sure if it still holds true, but in the 80s NI was the post the PM gave to the one who stood against him at the last leadership contest! Political Graveyard!
Tessa Jowell? NO. Just... No!
Jim Murphy. Scottish Secretary. Hmmm. A Scot with an Irish name? No matter. He likes Hornby train sets. That gets him a HUGE plus from me. He can talk sensibly too. He is a possible!
Yvette Cooper? Mrs Balls? She is married to him but didn't take his name! Who can blame her... Except it serves her right for marrying him in the first place. Nope.
Liam Byrne looks far too much like William Vague Hague.
Peter Hain, Welsh Secretary, is too old. He would take the Labour Party back to Kinnockism. He'd probably re-nationalise the coal mines and re-open them!
Bob Ainsworth? Oh No. Oh god no. Worse than Hain. Tried listening to him and got bored in a matter of seconds.
Andrew Adonis? I think putting someone with the name Adonis in power is asking for trouble. Plus the man has been using his position as Transport Secretary to indulge his hobby as a train spotter, travelling around the country in an expensive publicity stunt.
Ben Bradshaw? Culture Secretary. Oh, and the man responsible for the next Transport Secretary committing suicide in two years time! Huh? He's also responsible for sports... Getting there? No? Olympics 2012? Major influx of foreigners onto a transport system already stretched to breaking point? Thank you so much, Mr Bradshaw. I'm booking a hotel somewhere a long way away from this country for those two weeks!
That's it, really. Unless there is a surprise choice from out of the back benches.
I think I'm going to email Mr Denham and suggest he go for it!