(no subject)
my days right now are comprised primarily of lowbrow, laughably sincere, and profoundly ugly amateur porn, and abrasively raw and choking emotion (not so much from myself, but more my clients and classmates and course content). this is a fact.
i spend my time richocheting between these two very differently naked environments. it's okay as long as i stay present and stay aware of my reactions to both, but there are times when i feel fragile, and it's like one of those instant reactions in which a liquid suddenly crystalizes and what was once fluid and resilient becomes brittle and delicate and breakable.
i start feeling the need to be guarded, and this only makes me want to protect myself further.
this dynamic is so frustrating.
i spend my time richocheting between these two very differently naked environments. it's okay as long as i stay present and stay aware of my reactions to both, but there are times when i feel fragile, and it's like one of those instant reactions in which a liquid suddenly crystalizes and what was once fluid and resilient becomes brittle and delicate and breakable.
i start feeling the need to be guarded, and this only makes me want to protect myself further.
this dynamic is so frustrating.