No truth was harmed in the making of this post
I've just stolen $32 million. Seriously.
Notice it's in dollars, this should start to give you a clue how.
I decided to visit the country after the St. Augustine party, looking for WoMD (see previous post). The reasoning was simple - the US government threw out UN weapon inspectors about 2 years ago when they were looking for illegal chemical weapons the US developed, and refused to accept them back (except the time they wanted to hear about Iraq from them - whom allegebly did the same thing to the same inspectors). So anyway, the US has illegal WoMD (weapons of mass destruction) which I need in order to complete my grand plan.
So, I took a flight over and cunningly didn't tick the box that asked if I was a criminal or terrorist (see how I outwit customs officials!). The idea was to either pick up some WoMD from a bar (maybe ones that had fallen off the back of a lorry - the weapons, not the bar) OR to simply just hang around until I recieved some through the post.
Alas, no luck. (and you don't want to know what I actually picked up in the bars)
However, a few days ago, the US Senate okayed the spending of $51bn of emergency funding to help pay for continued military presence. Thats a pretty penny, or possibly quite a few shiney dimes.
It seems that the money is needed as some of the people in the country we have invaded have the audacity to shoot back. This is only slightly different to the english situation, as the money our government is forking out is to help defend against the Amercians that keep shooting us.
So, obviously I made the decision that the money would be better in my pocket.
The money is all electronic, virtual in fact. Its actual cash, stored in a bank, but not in notes or coins. This made it a simple case of internet theft. Still a pretty big sentence if I got caught, but then I don't get out of bed for less than a grand.
So there I am, checking out the various security and general laws I'd be breaking, when I came across an interesting discovery. Any decision, amendment or law that is ratified by the Senate is absolute and binding, until a further amendment is made. Also, because any decision is written in legalise, no-one who votes in it understands a word of the actual text.
So I hack in to the emergency funding costings and add a relatively tiny amount for myself.
The funding is ratified and £32 million appeared in an english bank account earlier today.
Obviously its not in my bank account. I've stuck it in an account I've started in the name of Diana Spencer. Between the rantings of a certain butler and pressure from the press, the americans will hopefully overlook it. We all know the US's fear of intelligent-sounding well-dressed english men, especially when they're connected to royality.
So, give me a couple of days and I'll crack open the account, buy live journal and make off with all ya credit card details.
Have a nice evening.
Notice it's in dollars, this should start to give you a clue how.
I decided to visit the country after the St. Augustine party, looking for WoMD (see previous post). The reasoning was simple - the US government threw out UN weapon inspectors about 2 years ago when they were looking for illegal chemical weapons the US developed, and refused to accept them back (except the time they wanted to hear about Iraq from them - whom allegebly did the same thing to the same inspectors). So anyway, the US has illegal WoMD (weapons of mass destruction) which I need in order to complete my grand plan.
So, I took a flight over and cunningly didn't tick the box that asked if I was a criminal or terrorist (see how I outwit customs officials!). The idea was to either pick up some WoMD from a bar (maybe ones that had fallen off the back of a lorry - the weapons, not the bar) OR to simply just hang around until I recieved some through the post.
Alas, no luck. (and you don't want to know what I actually picked up in the bars)
However, a few days ago, the US Senate okayed the spending of $51bn of emergency funding to help pay for continued military presence. Thats a pretty penny, or possibly quite a few shiney dimes.
It seems that the money is needed as some of the people in the country we have invaded have the audacity to shoot back. This is only slightly different to the english situation, as the money our government is forking out is to help defend against the Amercians that keep shooting us.
So, obviously I made the decision that the money would be better in my pocket.
The money is all electronic, virtual in fact. Its actual cash, stored in a bank, but not in notes or coins. This made it a simple case of internet theft. Still a pretty big sentence if I got caught, but then I don't get out of bed for less than a grand.
So there I am, checking out the various security and general laws I'd be breaking, when I came across an interesting discovery. Any decision, amendment or law that is ratified by the Senate is absolute and binding, until a further amendment is made. Also, because any decision is written in legalise, no-one who votes in it understands a word of the actual text.
So I hack in to the emergency funding costings and add a relatively tiny amount for myself.
The funding is ratified and £32 million appeared in an english bank account earlier today.
Obviously its not in my bank account. I've stuck it in an account I've started in the name of Diana Spencer. Between the rantings of a certain butler and pressure from the press, the americans will hopefully overlook it. We all know the US's fear of intelligent-sounding well-dressed english men, especially when they're connected to royality.
So, give me a couple of days and I'll crack open the account, buy live journal and make off with all ya credit card details.
Have a nice evening.