(no subject)
That stupid "Writer's Block" question distracted me too perfectly. The only joy comes from being reminded to listen to some Nina Simone.
I would have loved to have seen Nina live. Maybe seeing her just once would have brought some clarity to why I seem to exist in almost all her songs. Maybe realizing the pain so incredibly specific was not unique, would have made much of all that destroys me on a daily basis, not seem personal. Maybe I'm just crazy, and she would have noticed it immediately and had security haul me away.
Someone touched me spontaneously recently and it provoked such a defensive posture, she noticed it right away. It insulted her. More importantly, it worried me. I chose to be single because the work I do would never allow for any exploration of love in any form I may be able to feign. As such, I am something to all, a little to many, and life to some. I indulge physical human behavior many times to maintain appearances. Why did this incident provoke an honest reaction?
I think it's because I'm getting old. Like an aging confidence man, the library of aliases accumulated over the years have become so thin, truth is starting to show. If that is the case, it is time to move again. Time to find a resting place where I won't have to lie anymore. Some place to lie alone, unmolested and free of all these false memories.
Someday.
I would have loved to have seen Nina live. Maybe seeing her just once would have brought some clarity to why I seem to exist in almost all her songs. Maybe realizing the pain so incredibly specific was not unique, would have made much of all that destroys me on a daily basis, not seem personal. Maybe I'm just crazy, and she would have noticed it immediately and had security haul me away.
Someone touched me spontaneously recently and it provoked such a defensive posture, she noticed it right away. It insulted her. More importantly, it worried me. I chose to be single because the work I do would never allow for any exploration of love in any form I may be able to feign. As such, I am something to all, a little to many, and life to some. I indulge physical human behavior many times to maintain appearances. Why did this incident provoke an honest reaction?
I think it's because I'm getting old. Like an aging confidence man, the library of aliases accumulated over the years have become so thin, truth is starting to show. If that is the case, it is time to move again. Time to find a resting place where I won't have to lie anymore. Some place to lie alone, unmolested and free of all these false memories.
Someday.