One Step Forward...
“The Journey is never easy, and the path full of hardships, but the rewards are great.”
Simon gazed out the airplane window, resting his head on the thin plastic glass. Twenty thousand feet below the land was dissected by illuminated lines, slicing the world into shattered pieces. Scars on the Earth, tread upon by thousands each and every night with little care or conscience. In his hand he thumbed a thin piece of jade, etched with obsidian and silver in a marriage of Yin and Yang. He smiled slightly, reflecting on the past few hours. His conversation with the Shadowdancer had reminded him of his grandchilde…which bled into thoughts of Christian and Dante. To Ebon and Evelyn. To Victor…and to Him. And finally, to the empty realization that there was no such thing as strength. There were only various levels of weakness…
"I am not a moral man…and I am not beyond the Board. I am firmly upon it...and I am not sure I could remove myself even if I wanted to. I am not a force of balance in the universe...it is in my nature to fight. To protect. To struggle and to war...and I do not know if I can assist you in balancing the board. Neither the Covenants, or VII, can be pulled from the Abyss. This will end in tears..."
Kiyoshi had listened patiently, and responded in kind. "We all are pawns and pieces in our own way, but we still have free will, thus we can remove ourselves from the game. Whether you are a force of balance or not, is not the question. Do you wish to be, is the one you should be asking."
But Simon knew the answer was a deafening No. As he had sat and listened to him, the Warminister had realized that the others would never believe him. They would think Kiyoshi a clone…a husk of VII. But Simon trusted his instincts…and he knew the truth.
”What is worthy in your eyes?” asked the fellow Shadowdancer.
“My loyalty was without question. I asked, and I did. It was that simple. But overtime I came to recognize the corruption you spoke of earlier. I began to question that service. Service to a Family that was, at times, hypocritical. That did not act on the ideals that they claimed to have. Service to a Prince, and a City...that did not respect the blood that was shed and spilled in their name. Individuals who fell victim to their own vanity. Who took pleasure in the pain of others...who took pride in such acts. Individuals who did not understand honor and nobility and sacrifice...”
In Simon’s own heart he realized how hollow his own words had been. The Warminister was also hypocritical at times. He too had taken pleasure in the murder of others. Taken trophies and etched them into his very flesh. But Simon held an unwavering understanding of Right and Wrong. Not of Good and Evil, but of Just and Unjust. It was not that he lacked ideals and nobility and honor…it was that he had discarded those notions for what was often…too often…required. He had absolved his guilt in horrific acts…sacrificed a piece of his soul so that others need not...
Kiyoshi nodded. “So you understand, and yet you are not sure about making the final step. The striping away of all that you where, and move to become what you will…”
“So long as I hold onto the will to do what must be done...so long as I am still able to protect me and mine...so long as I recognize the man I see in the mirror...I have no fear of that final step. Wherever it may take me.”
“Are you ready to leave your covenant, and join the unaligned?”
Simon knew the answer was a deafening No.
But hours later on the plane, he clung to the lingering question of Why…