The Asparagus Awesomesauce 2.1
LAST TIME: Fancy and Blueberry went on a honeymoon to egypt. Thats pretty much it. Man, I need to get more creative with this.
So, where were we? Oh Yes! Fancy is pregnant and setting out on a quest to find out why Sarah and Brenna know so much about her! First she has to make the bed.
Blueberry: Oh god fancy, just hold on ok? Take some deep breathes.
Fancy: what's your problem?
Blueberry: Should I boil some water? What about towels! Do we have clean towels?
Fancy: Seriously blueberry, did you take something? What's wrong with you?
Does he have some sort of psychic link to her uterus? The world may never know.
Anyway, here's Peaches Asparagus. She's neat and evil.
Which is funny, because personally, I think neat people are evil.
Also, check out the guidelines for Orange Generation:
Generation Two
Color: Orange
Challenge: Creativity & Activity
Orange is a bright and happy color. It is full of energy and can even convince the laziest person to get off their butt. It is even known to incite creativeness in even the most “uncreative people”. Thus for the orange generation it is all about creativity and physical activity.
- Money may only be made by novels/painting/music
- Must Know All music compositions for 1 instrument (all learnable guitar/bass/keyboard songs)
- Full Athletic Skill
- Must be Sim FU Master (world adventures)
- If a sim is given an imaginary friend at birth they must keep it and keep best friend status with it until adulthood.(generations)
I WROTE that and even I think I'm a dbag now. So, we'll how much of that gets done.
Fancy: Babies kind of suck, you want to just have a birthday party now?
Blueberry: I'll get the cake
All the important people are in attendance
IDK my BFF Brenna
Fancy: I'm just going to do this now while they're all distracted by the rhythm
Blueberry: Baby, watching you clean baby spittle and cake off your maternity tank top gets me so hot.
IT'S YOUR DAUGHTERS FIRST BIRTHDAY!
Speaking of. Of course she's girly, she's evil and neat.
Blueberry: I just had shower sex.
Obviously my self sim is not impressed.
Neither is Brenna.
Fancy: Who invited you anyway!
This train wreck of inappropriateness just never stops.
Please, enjoy this wholesome palette cleanser.
Fancy: Blueberry, I'm pregnant.
Blueberry: No that ... that's fine. I wanted this waffle in my trachea. Pregnant you say?
Once he got over the initial shock of swallowing an entire waffle whole, he warmed up to have another baby. Their first was pretty cool.
Peaches: Keep making out, it's not like I need to eat or anything
Italics means it's psychic right? Cause toddlers can't form sentences.
Who needs foods when you have a dolly named Frank.
Fancy: Now peaches, just because mommy is having a new baby doesn't mean you're not special. You're very special.
Peaches:I will fight this new baby for food if I have to
It's obvious to everyone involved that Peaches is hugely a Daddy's girl and that he is secretly family oriented.
Evil. Why you gotta do me like this Peaches?
These were the golden times of Peaches' life.
Frank is the single scariest thing in the entire world.
The sequence of this makes me laugh a lot harder than I should.
Fancy took the baby on a walk to the park. Because queenstown is moderately sized it was dark by the time they got there.
Peaches of course couldn't leave until she had ridden the best ride.
She might not leave even after.
Fancy: Did she see?
Nah, she's asleep. It's fine.
Fancy: You guys didn't tell me ambien would kick in so fast.
There are worse places to take a nap is all I'm saying.
Blueberry: I didn't say you could intrude on our private time.
Fancy enjoyed her time off from the job she'd never gone to. This pregnancy was not as taxing and left her time to do all the things she loved. Mostly laundry and gardening, but to each their own.
Blueberry on the other hand still found his wife completely intoxicating. It was like they were once again meeting at the consignment shop to buy second hand wine.
Peaches: Seriously though, how hard is it to just get a bottle from the fridge?
As the days wore on Blueberry was practically pooping with excitement over his next child.
Blueberry: Don't worry Peaches, you'll always be Daddy's princess.
And then I barf everywhere over how domestic this is.
I don't even need to make commentary anymore at this point.
Fancy: Another beautiful morning, another chance to make the bed!
Fancy: Oh ... oh no! Hold on baby, let me tuck in the sheet first!
I don't think that's what's happening Fancy!
Turns out it was. Directly after depositing lovely Clementine into the crib Fancy peed on the floor in front of her. Really, it's some kind of tradition at this point. Also, since this is an awesomesauce we're done with kids. YAY!
Fancy was too busy expelling things from her nether regions to notice that it was Peaches birthday.
Peaches: This oversight will not be forgotten
She gained the Loves The Outdoors trait. Also, that weird jaw thing works itself out in adulthood. Until then she's awk looking.
Best. Birthday. Ever.
Peaches: Come on Frank. We have better things to do with our time then hang out with babies.
Clementine was aged to toddler as well. Though without a party. I just completely spazzed on a CAS photo apparently. Her traits are Genius and Couch Potato. She's not nearly as girly as her sister.
Peaches: Daddy! Why aren't you paying attention! You said I was the princess.
Shhh Peaches! Clementine is walking!
Fancy took the oppurtunity of both of her daughters vying for Blueberry's attention to escape the house. Why not pillage the community gardens while we're at it!
There's clementines face. She looks very similar to her sister, though obviously with different coloring.
And suddenly all of my childhood nightmares have become a reality.
Frankie: Soon the usurper will be destroyed so that Princess Peaches can rule!
Frankie: So ... death to all humans?
Peaches: Not all, mostly just little sisters. Daddy can stay.
Peaches: That imaginary friend disguise is the best thing I've ever seen! You look just like my doll Frankie!
Frankie: But peaches ... eh, I'll tell her later.
The perk of being the oldest is obviously getting to have the top bunk.
Family fun park take two. This time with the whole family.
Blueberry: Princess, why don't you go play.
Peaches: And ruin my dress?
Clementine knows how to have a good time!
That's one way not to get dirty.
Now this next bit, it was really late, and the game was being so buggy and I was so tired. Anyway, I got legitimately scared.
This guys, in a hospital gown just came up and attacked blueberry!
LOOK AT HIS EYES! IS THIS 28 DAYS LATER AND NO ONE TOLD ME?
Blueberry: You better get out of here guy! I've seen the walking dead.
Blueberry: I know to aim for the brain.
THANKS FOR READING!!!!