(no subject)
I really needed you tonight. And on my way home when I was thinking about how much I should call you- I realized that I need to face the truth: I can't do that anymore.
I know we said we wanted to be there for each other for anything and everything, but lets get real- we're not together anymore, and as much as I want to call you about something, we both know I can't. Neither of us hold the responsibility of that anymore. Neither of us have an obligation to care as much as we used to. Neither of us have the guts to call each other if something huge happens.
That sucks. And honestly, I think I might be angry at you for it. I think I'm angry because you left me here with no direction on how to feel. Can I miss you any more physically than before, when you were 5 hours away from me then, and still are? And then what about emotionally, we were on a break so theres seperation- and now it's over, can I miss you any more than before? Should I? I think I might.
I started writing this because I just thought. I wanted to call you tonight but then I realized I couldn't- because you're not my boyfriend, and when the title is gone, so are a lot of other things, like telling you every little thing about my life, and the really big things too.