Rejoice!
The holiday season is always full of happy and sad anniversaries for me.
There is Thanksgiving, which we usually enjoy quite a bit. This year, I met my little brother's girlfriend for the first time at Thanksgiving. She's really a sweet girl. She's different from me but so is my brother so they will probably be a good match.
Then there is my youngest daughter's birthday, every November 27th. She turned 5 this year. So we are done with babies, done with toddlers and, come May, we will be done with preschoolers. That is both happy and sad for me. I loved my three little children. The baby stage is hard but very special. They change so fast and yet, most of the time, I was too tired to enjoy and marvel at it. I'm so glad I took a lot of photos as now I can treasure how tiny my kids used to be.
This is a photo of my 5 year old's birthday. She and my older daughter (almost 8) are sitting in front of a homemade birthday cake that they decorated together. My five year old is wearing a purple sweatshirt and my 7 year old is wearing a blue t-shirt. Their hair is french-braided:
Then there is November 28th which, this year, was the 6th anniversary of the baby we lost. I'm still not sure why miscarriages happen. Was I supposed to learn something from that sadness or is life just random and cruel sometimes? Perhaps I will never know. Each year, I still mourn but the pain is a little less. I loved that baby but I will never hold that one.
Then there is November 29th. This year it was the 6th anniversary of my father-in-law's death. He was such a sweet man. I really wish he could have met my youngest child. He really wanted me to go back to college. I don't know these days, how I feel about the afterlife but if there is one, I hope he can see that I did go back after all and that my kids still love him (we talk about him.)
Then there is December 5th. This year, it was our 14th wedding anniversary. That can be a conflicting day but overall, I think a lot of good has come out of our marriage. We certainly have some sweet kids. I'm not sure I have always taken the right path but I know I made what I thought was the best choice almost every time along the journey in my life.
And then, of course, we had Christmas Eve. This year, we spent Christmas Eve with my mother-in-law, two of my brother-in-laws, 1 sister-in-law and 3 nephews and 2 nieces. My OCD and maybe Asperger brother-in-law got drunk as usual and acted stupid as usual. But it didn't bother me quite as bad this year. For one thing, we didn't spend the night which meant I didn't have to put up with his offensive comments for as many hours. But honestly, somehow, I am finally finding...love in my heart for him. I used to hate him for "ruining" the holidays each year but the more I study about Aspergers ... maybe he just doesn't know how to cope.
I think he misses my father-in-law. He (strangely) wanted to have a time when he lit a candle and had us all concentrate on "feeling Pa in the room" (my deceased father-in-law) and that was odd. But, at the same time, I think he just missed Pa. I think he doesn't know how to handle his emotions or how to speak to groups and so this was his clumsy way of saying, "I haven't forgotten my dad and I wish he was still here." It was odd. It offended my sister-in-law. But ... in a way it was sweet.
And then Christmas morning, for the very first time, we had it at our own home. First time in 14 years of marriage. The kids wanted to stay home and I am glad we did. I got to hang their stockings on our own mantle and put their presents under our own tree. For the first time in 5 years, we were able to afford a real tree! My kids were so excited! We usually just use a small, table-top, fake tree (which works!)
So we had Christmas morning at our home. And then I got horribly ill and was sick to my stomach all day. So much for making Christmas dinner for my family.
But I was sick until today and today, there are two reasons to rejoice. Not only am I finally able to eat normally again, my little brother got engaged today! She's the wonderful girl we met at Thanksgiving.
They are happy and they were sweet enough to call me together and let me know.
Here is a photo of them. They are outside and laughing into each other's eyes. He is tall (6 ft 4) and she is about 5 ft 9 inches with shoulder length blond hair. They look very much in love.
Rejoice! My brother, Elijah, has found a girl to love and they are happy. And my daughter gets her cast of January 5th. Christmas may be over but there are still times of joy to look forward to ahead.
There is Thanksgiving, which we usually enjoy quite a bit. This year, I met my little brother's girlfriend for the first time at Thanksgiving. She's really a sweet girl. She's different from me but so is my brother so they will probably be a good match.
Then there is my youngest daughter's birthday, every November 27th. She turned 5 this year. So we are done with babies, done with toddlers and, come May, we will be done with preschoolers. That is both happy and sad for me. I loved my three little children. The baby stage is hard but very special. They change so fast and yet, most of the time, I was too tired to enjoy and marvel at it. I'm so glad I took a lot of photos as now I can treasure how tiny my kids used to be.
This is a photo of my 5 year old's birthday. She and my older daughter (almost 8) are sitting in front of a homemade birthday cake that they decorated together. My five year old is wearing a purple sweatshirt and my 7 year old is wearing a blue t-shirt. Their hair is french-braided:
Then there is November 28th which, this year, was the 6th anniversary of the baby we lost. I'm still not sure why miscarriages happen. Was I supposed to learn something from that sadness or is life just random and cruel sometimes? Perhaps I will never know. Each year, I still mourn but the pain is a little less. I loved that baby but I will never hold that one.
Then there is November 29th. This year it was the 6th anniversary of my father-in-law's death. He was such a sweet man. I really wish he could have met my youngest child. He really wanted me to go back to college. I don't know these days, how I feel about the afterlife but if there is one, I hope he can see that I did go back after all and that my kids still love him (we talk about him.)
Then there is December 5th. This year, it was our 14th wedding anniversary. That can be a conflicting day but overall, I think a lot of good has come out of our marriage. We certainly have some sweet kids. I'm not sure I have always taken the right path but I know I made what I thought was the best choice almost every time along the journey in my life.
And then, of course, we had Christmas Eve. This year, we spent Christmas Eve with my mother-in-law, two of my brother-in-laws, 1 sister-in-law and 3 nephews and 2 nieces. My OCD and maybe Asperger brother-in-law got drunk as usual and acted stupid as usual. But it didn't bother me quite as bad this year. For one thing, we didn't spend the night which meant I didn't have to put up with his offensive comments for as many hours. But honestly, somehow, I am finally finding...love in my heart for him. I used to hate him for "ruining" the holidays each year but the more I study about Aspergers ... maybe he just doesn't know how to cope.
I think he misses my father-in-law. He (strangely) wanted to have a time when he lit a candle and had us all concentrate on "feeling Pa in the room" (my deceased father-in-law) and that was odd. But, at the same time, I think he just missed Pa. I think he doesn't know how to handle his emotions or how to speak to groups and so this was his clumsy way of saying, "I haven't forgotten my dad and I wish he was still here." It was odd. It offended my sister-in-law. But ... in a way it was sweet.
And then Christmas morning, for the very first time, we had it at our own home. First time in 14 years of marriage. The kids wanted to stay home and I am glad we did. I got to hang their stockings on our own mantle and put their presents under our own tree. For the first time in 5 years, we were able to afford a real tree! My kids were so excited! We usually just use a small, table-top, fake tree (which works!)
So we had Christmas morning at our home. And then I got horribly ill and was sick to my stomach all day. So much for making Christmas dinner for my family.
But I was sick until today and today, there are two reasons to rejoice. Not only am I finally able to eat normally again, my little brother got engaged today! She's the wonderful girl we met at Thanksgiving.
They are happy and they were sweet enough to call me together and let me know.
Here is a photo of them. They are outside and laughing into each other's eyes. He is tall (6 ft 4) and she is about 5 ft 9 inches with shoulder length blond hair. They look very much in love.
Rejoice! My brother, Elijah, has found a girl to love and they are happy. And my daughter gets her cast of January 5th. Christmas may be over but there are still times of joy to look forward to ahead.