Procrastinating
*I'm in an annoyed mood, so I'm going on a semi-rant. Please feel free to ignore me. Also, don't take any of this personally - I'm not talking about specific people, just what I've read in general, and I'm sure that I myself am guilty of many of these things (though I do try to watch out for them). And a lot of this is just personal preference. So, again, don't take me too seriously.
Things that bug me in fan fiction, in no particular order:
1. Referring to characters by their gender or ethnicity.
"The female detective" or "the Caucasian man". It sounds like an autopsy report, and tells me absolutely nothing about the character.
2. Referring to characters by their hair-color or age.
If it's necessary to distinguish one person from another, and they have no other identifying characteristic and no names, then fine. Otherwise, it's too reductionist. A character is so much more than their hair color.
"Misaki walked into her kitchen. The burnette turned on her stove and filled a kettle with water. The female detective's phone rang. The woman answered, 'Kirihara.'" This sounds like four different people - but I see people writing like this all the time. Use names and pronouns!!
*If it's a character referring to them this way because that's how they view that person, then I'm okay with it - when it's the narrator doing it, then that bugs me. Like, I'm okay with Misaki referring to Matsumoto as "the older man" in her POV, because to her he's a veteran who is older and more experienced than her. But if the writer is calling him "the old man" without reference to Misaki, that's what I mean.
3. Describing new characters in detail, only to have them disappear (be killed, etc) in the next paragraph.
If your character only exists to tell the main character which road to take, I don't need to know that she's 5'7", 132 lbs, in her twenties with auburn hair and wearing denim jeans with your favorite J-Rock band's t-shirt. If you tell me all of this, I will assume that she's important! If she's not important, then it doesn't matter what she looks like!
4. Describing clothing or settings in excruciating detail.
No reader, no matter how good of a writer you are, will ever be able to picture exactly what is in your head. Use generalities that people will be familiar with to construct their own pictures. Trust your readers' imaginations. I don't care if the guy's shirt is red, or if some random car is forest green, or how many trees are in that park. If it's not important, then it's not important, so don't waste words on it.
5. Objectification (male and female).
Do not describe female characters by their bust size or the amount of cleavage that is showing - this is objectification, and it's not cool. Unless breast size is vital to your plot, it shouldn't even be mentioned. A woman is not defined by her cup size. Likewise, don't have your male characters all obsessed with their junk or instantly getting aroused by/hitting on every woman that they see. Again, it's objectifying, and makes all men sound like horny 12 year olds. Unless your character is a horny 12 year old, please portray him as a human being with an actual brain. Men are capable of controlling their baser emotions, and to say otherwise just enables rape culture. Even in fan fiction, that's a dangerous thing.
6. Putting in your summary "old, crappy story" or "I don't have time to proofread, sorry."
Well, that sure makes me want to read it! Seriously, if you don't have any pride in your work, don't even bother posting. If you're just fishing for compliments - you're not going to get any from me, because it's obvious that you don't care. So why should I?
7. Not spell-checking.
If you don't know how to spell a word, look it up - dictionaries are on the internet now! If your word processor puts a red squiggle under a word, that means that you spelled it wrong - but if you right-click, it will guess what you're trying to say and suggest the correct spelling. There is no excuse for misspelled words! (Accidental typos, fine. Consistently spelling "occurrence" wrong - no excuse! - I cannot spell that word without spell check; I hate it)
Non-native English speakers get some leeway here, of course - I can't even imagine trying to write a coherent story in a language that's not English, and have mad respect for those who do.
8. Not formatting your dialogue correctly.
New speaker, new line! It's not that hard, and makes reading so much easier!
9. Hyperbole.
Having characters scream their words, using verbs like "smirk" or making every little event the most dramatic thing that's ever happened - dude, dial it down. Think about how people act and react in normal life. Outside of fighting with your parents or siblings when you were a moody teenager, have you ever actually screamed at someone, with spittle flying from your mouth?
10. Nosebleeds. And every manga-animeism, really.
What is this even?? I get that in manga, it's to show attraction, but really? People's bodies do not actually function this way, and writing is not a visual medium. Writing that someone got a nosebleed or had a single bead of sweat running down their face is just weird.
11. Dialogue tags
Too few dialogue tags: where we get ten lines of conversation between two or more people, with no attributions to tell us who's speaking. Three lines, max - then add a "he said."
Too many tags: he shouted, she whispered, he murmured, she growled. Your dialogue should do the talking for you - if it's not clear how the line is delivered, rewrite the line. "Said" is actually the best word to use, because it's invisible.
No tag, followed by a different character's reaction: "I'm sorry." Bob rolled his eyes. You meant to write that Mary was saying that she was sorry, but when the words are followed by Bob's reaction, it looks like Bob is saying that he's sorry. Don't confuse your poor readers.
12. Eye rolls
Adults do not roll their eyes. If they do, it's out of sight of others, because it's extremely annoying, disrespectful, and immature. (And if you know an adult who does this, I bet they're really obnoxious people that you don't like to deal with). Unless your characters are 12 years old, they should not be rolling their eyes.
13. Writing OOC
Unless that's an important part of your story, try, try, try to keep your characters in character! There's a reason we all love the anime/manga/whatever so much - why change a good thing?
14. Random Japanese
If the story takes place in Japan, concerning mainly Japanese characters who speak Japanese, then I'm assuming that all the dialogue is in Japanese. Throwing in a random phrase like "Good morning" or "Sorry" in Japanese is really distracting and annoying - because the rest of the sentence is in English! So, does that mean that they're actually speaking English, and occasionally using Japanese?
If it's a word that isn't translatable to English, then I don't mind it. But it would be weird if I were watching a Spanish-language movie with subtitles, and the subtitles said "Hola!" No. Use all English as if we're reading a translation, unless the character is speaking in a language not-Japanese.
15. POV shifts and head-jumping
I 100% prefer that writers stick to one POV throughout a scene. That means that we only know what's going on inside one character's head at a time. If your scene is from Misaki's POV, she doesn't know what Hei is thinking, and can only guess. Don't write your next paragraph telling me Hei's thoughts! Use his words and his actions to show me! If you feel the need to switch POVs halfway through a scene, use a line break - and then don't switch back.
It's easy to slip up and use words that suggest that your characters are telepathic on accident - but a lot of fan fic writers do it obviously. One paragraph from one POV; next paragraph from another's; next paragraph, we're back to the first. Jumping between heads is like watching a mental tennis match, and I get whiplash. Very, very few published books are written this way, and the ones that are are generally pretty amateurish. And not easy to read - it's like having an identity crisis.
Things I specifically don't like in DtB stories:
1. Writing OOC
Having Misaki be weak and weepy, Hei showing emotional reactions without a good reason, making Yin show obvious emotions or giving long speeches, any contractor showing emotions or pausing to gloat before they kill someone - so wrong. Unless you're writing OOC on purpose, don't do it.
2. Impossible contractor prices
It's fun to play around with powers and prices, but a contractor with a price that will severely injure them or get them noticed isn't going to last long; so it doesn't make sense to make them, say, swallow rat poison every time they use their powers.
3. Hei swinging around the city like goddamn Spiderman.
Hei is not goddamn Spiderman. Seriously - he's got a thin wire or rope attached to his belt. You can't travel across a city like that, being held only by your waist! He has to cut it off when he lands, attach a new carabiner to a new cable each time he wants to take off again; he definitely can't carry another person like that. It's a good tool for repelling or pulling him out of a situation quickly - that's it. If I wanted Spiderman fic, I would read Spiderman fic.
4. Anything having to do with season 2.
Yeah...
5. HeixYin where Yin is super doll-like or childlike.
NO. Ugh. I'm all about sex positivity, which is all about enthusiastic consent. A doll cannot consent to a sexual relationship. Ever. That is rape - stop writing it! And writing her as being very childlike, with Hei being her caretaker - gross gross gross. Don't.
6. Amber as Deus ex Machina
Amber's time-travel powers make her a really flexible character to work with - but I really get annoyed when stories have her show up randomly to fix something or to give vital information, when she's actually not really a character in the story. It's convenient, but it doesn't make any sense. And it takes agency away from the actual characters, by not letting them solve their own problems.
7. Hei kidnapping or tying up Misaki without her consent or purposefully seducing her as Li while she's delirious or he knows that she would object if she knew the truth
See also: rape.
There's kind of a fine line here, between fantasy/wish-fulfillment and reality. If it's portrayed as a fantasy, I'm fine with it. If it's a scene in a longer story, this happens, and it's supposed to be okay or even romantic? No. People make mistakes; characters can make mistakes - if this happens and the characters acknowledge that it was a mistake - good. Otherwise, stop writing it! Rape is not romantic!
Things that I do like to see in fan fiction:
Creativity and a clear love for the show, as well as an obvious effort with the writing. It doesn't have to be perfect; I don't expect it to be perfect. Fan fiction is all about flexing our writing muscles, finding our voices, and enjoying the works we love with like-minded community.
Simple.
Most of the stories that I read and enjoy here have one or many of the things that bug me - but ultimately it's clear that the writer loves the show and the characters and spent time on their stories. I can tolerate a lot for that =)
Things that bug me in fan fiction, in no particular order:
1. Referring to characters by their gender or ethnicity.
"The female detective" or "the Caucasian man". It sounds like an autopsy report, and tells me absolutely nothing about the character.
2. Referring to characters by their hair-color or age.
If it's necessary to distinguish one person from another, and they have no other identifying characteristic and no names, then fine. Otherwise, it's too reductionist. A character is so much more than their hair color.
"Misaki walked into her kitchen. The burnette turned on her stove and filled a kettle with water. The female detective's phone rang. The woman answered, 'Kirihara.'" This sounds like four different people - but I see people writing like this all the time. Use names and pronouns!!
*If it's a character referring to them this way because that's how they view that person, then I'm okay with it - when it's the narrator doing it, then that bugs me. Like, I'm okay with Misaki referring to Matsumoto as "the older man" in her POV, because to her he's a veteran who is older and more experienced than her. But if the writer is calling him "the old man" without reference to Misaki, that's what I mean.
3. Describing new characters in detail, only to have them disappear (be killed, etc) in the next paragraph.
If your character only exists to tell the main character which road to take, I don't need to know that she's 5'7", 132 lbs, in her twenties with auburn hair and wearing denim jeans with your favorite J-Rock band's t-shirt. If you tell me all of this, I will assume that she's important! If she's not important, then it doesn't matter what she looks like!
4. Describing clothing or settings in excruciating detail.
No reader, no matter how good of a writer you are, will ever be able to picture exactly what is in your head. Use generalities that people will be familiar with to construct their own pictures. Trust your readers' imaginations. I don't care if the guy's shirt is red, or if some random car is forest green, or how many trees are in that park. If it's not important, then it's not important, so don't waste words on it.
5. Objectification (male and female).
Do not describe female characters by their bust size or the amount of cleavage that is showing - this is objectification, and it's not cool. Unless breast size is vital to your plot, it shouldn't even be mentioned. A woman is not defined by her cup size. Likewise, don't have your male characters all obsessed with their junk or instantly getting aroused by/hitting on every woman that they see. Again, it's objectifying, and makes all men sound like horny 12 year olds. Unless your character is a horny 12 year old, please portray him as a human being with an actual brain. Men are capable of controlling their baser emotions, and to say otherwise just enables rape culture. Even in fan fiction, that's a dangerous thing.
6. Putting in your summary "old, crappy story" or "I don't have time to proofread, sorry."
Well, that sure makes me want to read it! Seriously, if you don't have any pride in your work, don't even bother posting. If you're just fishing for compliments - you're not going to get any from me, because it's obvious that you don't care. So why should I?
7. Not spell-checking.
If you don't know how to spell a word, look it up - dictionaries are on the internet now! If your word processor puts a red squiggle under a word, that means that you spelled it wrong - but if you right-click, it will guess what you're trying to say and suggest the correct spelling. There is no excuse for misspelled words! (Accidental typos, fine. Consistently spelling "occurrence" wrong - no excuse! - I cannot spell that word without spell check; I hate it)
Non-native English speakers get some leeway here, of course - I can't even imagine trying to write a coherent story in a language that's not English, and have mad respect for those who do.
8. Not formatting your dialogue correctly.
New speaker, new line! It's not that hard, and makes reading so much easier!
9. Hyperbole.
Having characters scream their words, using verbs like "smirk" or making every little event the most dramatic thing that's ever happened - dude, dial it down. Think about how people act and react in normal life. Outside of fighting with your parents or siblings when you were a moody teenager, have you ever actually screamed at someone, with spittle flying from your mouth?
10. Nosebleeds. And every manga-animeism, really.
What is this even?? I get that in manga, it's to show attraction, but really? People's bodies do not actually function this way, and writing is not a visual medium. Writing that someone got a nosebleed or had a single bead of sweat running down their face is just weird.
11. Dialogue tags
Too few dialogue tags: where we get ten lines of conversation between two or more people, with no attributions to tell us who's speaking. Three lines, max - then add a "he said."
Too many tags: he shouted, she whispered, he murmured, she growled. Your dialogue should do the talking for you - if it's not clear how the line is delivered, rewrite the line. "Said" is actually the best word to use, because it's invisible.
No tag, followed by a different character's reaction: "I'm sorry." Bob rolled his eyes. You meant to write that Mary was saying that she was sorry, but when the words are followed by Bob's reaction, it looks like Bob is saying that he's sorry. Don't confuse your poor readers.
12. Eye rolls
Adults do not roll their eyes. If they do, it's out of sight of others, because it's extremely annoying, disrespectful, and immature. (And if you know an adult who does this, I bet they're really obnoxious people that you don't like to deal with). Unless your characters are 12 years old, they should not be rolling their eyes.
13. Writing OOC
Unless that's an important part of your story, try, try, try to keep your characters in character! There's a reason we all love the anime/manga/whatever so much - why change a good thing?
14. Random Japanese
If the story takes place in Japan, concerning mainly Japanese characters who speak Japanese, then I'm assuming that all the dialogue is in Japanese. Throwing in a random phrase like "Good morning" or "Sorry" in Japanese is really distracting and annoying - because the rest of the sentence is in English! So, does that mean that they're actually speaking English, and occasionally using Japanese?
If it's a word that isn't translatable to English, then I don't mind it. But it would be weird if I were watching a Spanish-language movie with subtitles, and the subtitles said "Hola!" No. Use all English as if we're reading a translation, unless the character is speaking in a language not-Japanese.
15. POV shifts and head-jumping
I 100% prefer that writers stick to one POV throughout a scene. That means that we only know what's going on inside one character's head at a time. If your scene is from Misaki's POV, she doesn't know what Hei is thinking, and can only guess. Don't write your next paragraph telling me Hei's thoughts! Use his words and his actions to show me! If you feel the need to switch POVs halfway through a scene, use a line break - and then don't switch back.
It's easy to slip up and use words that suggest that your characters are telepathic on accident - but a lot of fan fic writers do it obviously. One paragraph from one POV; next paragraph from another's; next paragraph, we're back to the first. Jumping between heads is like watching a mental tennis match, and I get whiplash. Very, very few published books are written this way, and the ones that are are generally pretty amateurish. And not easy to read - it's like having an identity crisis.
Things I specifically don't like in DtB stories:
1. Writing OOC
Having Misaki be weak and weepy, Hei showing emotional reactions without a good reason, making Yin show obvious emotions or giving long speeches, any contractor showing emotions or pausing to gloat before they kill someone - so wrong. Unless you're writing OOC on purpose, don't do it.
2. Impossible contractor prices
It's fun to play around with powers and prices, but a contractor with a price that will severely injure them or get them noticed isn't going to last long; so it doesn't make sense to make them, say, swallow rat poison every time they use their powers.
3. Hei swinging around the city like goddamn Spiderman.
Hei is not goddamn Spiderman. Seriously - he's got a thin wire or rope attached to his belt. You can't travel across a city like that, being held only by your waist! He has to cut it off when he lands, attach a new carabiner to a new cable each time he wants to take off again; he definitely can't carry another person like that. It's a good tool for repelling or pulling him out of a situation quickly - that's it. If I wanted Spiderman fic, I would read Spiderman fic.
4. Anything having to do with season 2.
Yeah...
5. HeixYin where Yin is super doll-like or childlike.
NO. Ugh. I'm all about sex positivity, which is all about enthusiastic consent. A doll cannot consent to a sexual relationship. Ever. That is rape - stop writing it! And writing her as being very childlike, with Hei being her caretaker - gross gross gross. Don't.
6. Amber as Deus ex Machina
Amber's time-travel powers make her a really flexible character to work with - but I really get annoyed when stories have her show up randomly to fix something or to give vital information, when she's actually not really a character in the story. It's convenient, but it doesn't make any sense. And it takes agency away from the actual characters, by not letting them solve their own problems.
7. Hei kidnapping or tying up Misaki without her consent or purposefully seducing her as Li while she's delirious or he knows that she would object if she knew the truth
See also: rape.
There's kind of a fine line here, between fantasy/wish-fulfillment and reality. If it's portrayed as a fantasy, I'm fine with it. If it's a scene in a longer story, this happens, and it's supposed to be okay or even romantic? No. People make mistakes; characters can make mistakes - if this happens and the characters acknowledge that it was a mistake - good. Otherwise, stop writing it! Rape is not romantic!
Things that I do like to see in fan fiction:
Creativity and a clear love for the show, as well as an obvious effort with the writing. It doesn't have to be perfect; I don't expect it to be perfect. Fan fiction is all about flexing our writing muscles, finding our voices, and enjoying the works we love with like-minded community.
Simple.
Most of the stories that I read and enjoy here have one or many of the things that bug me - but ultimately it's clear that the writer loves the show and the characters and spent time on their stories. I can tolerate a lot for that =)