Purpose
TITLE : Purpose
length : One-Shot
pairing : SiHae (Siwon & Donghae)
genre : drama, romance
rating : PG
summary: Donghae can't take it as he heard a terrible news from the man he loves
a/n: Sihae! haha i'm sorry if it's bad, because actually this was my very very first SJ Fic but i only had the chance to type it now, and actually ehemthiswasyewon'sandishiftittosihaeehem hahaha sorry! haha.. but yeah! my very 1st fic was actually yewon's haha.. well.. im sorry.. i think it somehow fits sihae now... I♥SIHAE! .. ehem i'll just make another one for yewon.. i still love yewon!.. that is if it still hasnt dawned into me that i suck and i shud already stop writing haha
anyways.... another thing! BLAME SIWON FOR THIS FIC! hahahahaha
Donghae just stood there like a rock, still processing all the information he just got, his brain trying to deny everything. No it can’t be, he’s just dreaming right?
He try to pinch his self and repeat to his self that it’s just a dream, a nightmare he’ll be waking up from any minute soon. But the more he imposed it to himself, and seeing the scene in front of him not showing any sign of disappearing, makes him realize how real everything is. His hyungs crying, others getting wild asking him his just kidding, actually that’s just what Donghae wants to do at that very minute. But not as much as how he wants to just run into his arms and hug him tightly and be assured that everything would just be right, that the man he love wouldn’t leave him.
How he wanted to tell him how much he love him, but he can’t, for so many years, he have kept the burning feelings he have for the guy and locked it in his heart. All because he’s too scared, too scared to be neglected, too scared that he’ll end up being avoided by the guy he considers as the air he breaths. How can he live if that happens? So just being close to him, just having to hear his voice, just having to smell that scent of his, just having to see that wonderful smile, all never failing to brighten up his heart, all is enough for him. Having the taught that all of it could be gone by just a mere confession already kills him.
He just looks at the other members, the others crying loudly, while the others silently adjourn in one corner, sadness clearly seen in everyone’s eyes, frustration, despair, all sort of emotions that’s slowly crumpling his heart, making it impossible for him to breath. He can’t bare the situation anymore so he hurriedly ran outside the apartment and ran just wherever his feet takes him, he doesn’t care where but he just wants to be out of that place. He might seem to be strong, cheerful, carefree and all. But deep inside his just a weakling. He continued running trying to throw all the misery in the wind until he can’t take it anymore and just let him self fell to the ground, screaming all the pain away. He can’t take it anymore so he just let the tears drop hoping that by releasing all the tears in eyes, he could also release all the pain in his heart. But the more that he cried and the more realization hits him the more he could feel the hurt slowly killing him inside.
All of a sudden, he felt warmth as a pair of arms wraps around him. He didn’t even need to turn his head to see who it was. He knows to well who’s that familiar scent was and that familiar feeling calming his throbbing heart that only one person could give him.
“Hyung, everything’s going to be fine” Donghae looked at the owner of the voice and see how calm he was. “How can you be so calm at this situation?! How can everything be fine when you’re leaving us?! Nothings going to be fine!” Donghae snapped at the other.
“Hae, this is what God has planned, and I know that he has a reason for doing so.”
“Fuck! What reason Siwon?! To make us suffer?!” He was already in too much frustration that Donghae’s no in control for words. And man he doesn’t care anymore, God forgive him but for him, this is no time to be a good Christian.
“Donghae..” Siwon muttered his name firmly yet softly caressing his friend’s face. “God loves us so much. He’ll never mean to hurt us. Plus, we all know that life here on earth is just temporary, a greater life awaits us.. it’s just that my time is about to come, maybe I already served my purpose here on earth.” He chuckled softly.
Donghae’s frustration even grew wider can’t believe that Siwon could still smile at such situation “Purpose?! But what about my purpose?! What If all I lived for is you! That my purpose here on earth is to love you!” Siwon was stunned speechless with the other’s words. Donghae can’t blame him, because even he himself can’t believe that he just blurted out the words that have wanted to be free for years!
Both of them just stayed at their place, looking everywhere but at one another. Finally, Siwon decided to end the silence. “Hyung, I know you’re just upset of the situation. You…”
“What?! That is just not about this! Do you even know how long I’ve wanted to tell you those words?! These feelings have been trapped in me for so many years now!” Donghae cut in.
“No, you’re just confuse, you..”
Donghae didn’t let him finish again, grabbing his face and kissed him passionately, pouring all the feelings he had for Siwon over the years.
The kiss was cut after a minute. Donghae can still feel the lingering taste of Siwon’s lips to his. He looked deeply at the man in front of him as he couragely say what’s in his heart “Siwon, I love you. I’ve always do.”
To his surprise, now it was Siwon that grabbed his face and kissed him. He has no idea what was going on the other’s mind but couldn’t care less. At that moment, he doesn’t care about other things, he just wants to cherish every second of that happiness that’s jumping inside his heart.
When Siwon heard Donghae’s confession, all of a sudden he just had the urge to kiss the guy in front of him. He knows this was wrong for so many reasons but it just felt so right at the same time. A part of his head says that he should stop this but he just can’t, his body won’t let him, his heart won’t allow him. He just continued kissing the other passionately ignoring all the doubts, his not entirely certain of what he feels yet but all he knows is he loves that bolting feeling in his heart, giving him outmost pleasure and joy.
The next morning, Donghae woke up in Siwon’s warm arms making him giddy all over, thinking that what happened last night wasn’t just a dream. He lovingly stared at the peaceful sleeping face inches away from him still can’t believe that his in the arms of his love. He’s overjoyed that he can’t help as a tear rolls down his face. Siwon slowly opened his eyes and saw the other’s lovely stares bringing a wide smile on his face, but then slowly faded as he saw the other crying.
“Why are you crying? Aren’t you happy to be with me?” He frowned while slowly caressing the others’ cheeks as he wipes the tears away.
Donghae can’t help but laugh “Pabo! I’m crying because I love to be with you.” He gave a peck to the others’ adorable face, continuing when the frown was replaced by a smile. “Being with you gives me over flowing joy. I love you Siwon, I love you so much.”
Siwon then grabbed Donghae’s face as he drowns him in a kiss, showering him with his love, now his certain of what he feels. Now his certain that he too, is in love with Lee Donghae.
“I love you too.”
Donghae was even more joyed hearing Siwon’s reply, he felt sincerity, he felt love.
After the kiss he slowly rests his head at Siwon’s chest. “Siwon.. don’t leave me”
“Who said I will?” Siwon chuckled, gently caressing Donghae’s hair. Donghae just smiled enjoying the warm feeling in Siwon’s chest.
“Thank you” Siwon uttered making Donghae confuse. “For what??”
“For giving me another reason to live, for making me realize that I still have one more purpose in life, that is to love you, I really love you Donghae and I want to spend the rest of my life with you” Tears suddenly drop from Donghae’s face being overwhelmed with joy as Siwon slowly grabs his face and kiss him again.
It’s true, God has a reason for everything. Maybe one of the reasons was for our hearts to finally find it’s home in the arms of one another.
**
F-A-I-L = TOTALLY SUPER FAIL!
length : One-Shot
pairing : SiHae (Siwon & Donghae)
genre : drama, romance
rating : PG
summary: Donghae can't take it as he heard a terrible news from the man he loves
a/n: Sihae! haha i'm sorry if it's bad, because actually this was my very very first SJ Fic but i only had the chance to type it now, and actually ehemthiswasyewon'sandishiftittosihaeehem hahaha sorry! haha.. but yeah! my very 1st fic was actually yewon's haha.. well.. im sorry.. i think it somehow fits sihae now... I♥SIHAE! .. ehem i'll just make another one for yewon.. i still love yewon!.. that is if it still hasnt dawned into me that i suck and i shud already stop writing haha
anyways.... another thing! BLAME SIWON FOR THIS FIC! hahahahaha
Donghae just stood there like a rock, still processing all the information he just got, his brain trying to deny everything. No it can’t be, he’s just dreaming right?
He try to pinch his self and repeat to his self that it’s just a dream, a nightmare he’ll be waking up from any minute soon. But the more he imposed it to himself, and seeing the scene in front of him not showing any sign of disappearing, makes him realize how real everything is. His hyungs crying, others getting wild asking him his just kidding, actually that’s just what Donghae wants to do at that very minute. But not as much as how he wants to just run into his arms and hug him tightly and be assured that everything would just be right, that the man he love wouldn’t leave him.
How he wanted to tell him how much he love him, but he can’t, for so many years, he have kept the burning feelings he have for the guy and locked it in his heart. All because he’s too scared, too scared to be neglected, too scared that he’ll end up being avoided by the guy he considers as the air he breaths. How can he live if that happens? So just being close to him, just having to hear his voice, just having to smell that scent of his, just having to see that wonderful smile, all never failing to brighten up his heart, all is enough for him. Having the taught that all of it could be gone by just a mere confession already kills him.
He just looks at the other members, the others crying loudly, while the others silently adjourn in one corner, sadness clearly seen in everyone’s eyes, frustration, despair, all sort of emotions that’s slowly crumpling his heart, making it impossible for him to breath. He can’t bare the situation anymore so he hurriedly ran outside the apartment and ran just wherever his feet takes him, he doesn’t care where but he just wants to be out of that place. He might seem to be strong, cheerful, carefree and all. But deep inside his just a weakling. He continued running trying to throw all the misery in the wind until he can’t take it anymore and just let him self fell to the ground, screaming all the pain away. He can’t take it anymore so he just let the tears drop hoping that by releasing all the tears in eyes, he could also release all the pain in his heart. But the more that he cried and the more realization hits him the more he could feel the hurt slowly killing him inside.
All of a sudden, he felt warmth as a pair of arms wraps around him. He didn’t even need to turn his head to see who it was. He knows to well who’s that familiar scent was and that familiar feeling calming his throbbing heart that only one person could give him.
“Hyung, everything’s going to be fine” Donghae looked at the owner of the voice and see how calm he was. “How can you be so calm at this situation?! How can everything be fine when you’re leaving us?! Nothings going to be fine!” Donghae snapped at the other.
“Hae, this is what God has planned, and I know that he has a reason for doing so.”
“Fuck! What reason Siwon?! To make us suffer?!” He was already in too much frustration that Donghae’s no in control for words. And man he doesn’t care anymore, God forgive him but for him, this is no time to be a good Christian.
“Donghae..” Siwon muttered his name firmly yet softly caressing his friend’s face. “God loves us so much. He’ll never mean to hurt us. Plus, we all know that life here on earth is just temporary, a greater life awaits us.. it’s just that my time is about to come, maybe I already served my purpose here on earth.” He chuckled softly.
Donghae’s frustration even grew wider can’t believe that Siwon could still smile at such situation “Purpose?! But what about my purpose?! What If all I lived for is you! That my purpose here on earth is to love you!” Siwon was stunned speechless with the other’s words. Donghae can’t blame him, because even he himself can’t believe that he just blurted out the words that have wanted to be free for years!
Both of them just stayed at their place, looking everywhere but at one another. Finally, Siwon decided to end the silence. “Hyung, I know you’re just upset of the situation. You…”
“What?! That is just not about this! Do you even know how long I’ve wanted to tell you those words?! These feelings have been trapped in me for so many years now!” Donghae cut in.
“No, you’re just confuse, you..”
Donghae didn’t let him finish again, grabbing his face and kissed him passionately, pouring all the feelings he had for Siwon over the years.
The kiss was cut after a minute. Donghae can still feel the lingering taste of Siwon’s lips to his. He looked deeply at the man in front of him as he couragely say what’s in his heart “Siwon, I love you. I’ve always do.”
To his surprise, now it was Siwon that grabbed his face and kissed him. He has no idea what was going on the other’s mind but couldn’t care less. At that moment, he doesn’t care about other things, he just wants to cherish every second of that happiness that’s jumping inside his heart.
When Siwon heard Donghae’s confession, all of a sudden he just had the urge to kiss the guy in front of him. He knows this was wrong for so many reasons but it just felt so right at the same time. A part of his head says that he should stop this but he just can’t, his body won’t let him, his heart won’t allow him. He just continued kissing the other passionately ignoring all the doubts, his not entirely certain of what he feels yet but all he knows is he loves that bolting feeling in his heart, giving him outmost pleasure and joy.
The next morning, Donghae woke up in Siwon’s warm arms making him giddy all over, thinking that what happened last night wasn’t just a dream. He lovingly stared at the peaceful sleeping face inches away from him still can’t believe that his in the arms of his love. He’s overjoyed that he can’t help as a tear rolls down his face. Siwon slowly opened his eyes and saw the other’s lovely stares bringing a wide smile on his face, but then slowly faded as he saw the other crying.
“Why are you crying? Aren’t you happy to be with me?” He frowned while slowly caressing the others’ cheeks as he wipes the tears away.
Donghae can’t help but laugh “Pabo! I’m crying because I love to be with you.” He gave a peck to the others’ adorable face, continuing when the frown was replaced by a smile. “Being with you gives me over flowing joy. I love you Siwon, I love you so much.”
Siwon then grabbed Donghae’s face as he drowns him in a kiss, showering him with his love, now his certain of what he feels. Now his certain that he too, is in love with Lee Donghae.
“I love you too.”
Donghae was even more joyed hearing Siwon’s reply, he felt sincerity, he felt love.
After the kiss he slowly rests his head at Siwon’s chest. “Siwon.. don’t leave me”
“Who said I will?” Siwon chuckled, gently caressing Donghae’s hair. Donghae just smiled enjoying the warm feeling in Siwon’s chest.
“Thank you” Siwon uttered making Donghae confuse. “For what??”
“For giving me another reason to live, for making me realize that I still have one more purpose in life, that is to love you, I really love you Donghae and I want to spend the rest of my life with you” Tears suddenly drop from Donghae’s face being overwhelmed with joy as Siwon slowly grabs his face and kiss him again.
It’s true, God has a reason for everything. Maybe one of the reasons was for our hearts to finally find it’s home in the arms of one another.
**
F-A-I-L = TOTALLY SUPER FAIL!