Can't Be Arsed
I'm being a total asshole right now.
Even before I got a job, I made a pact with myself that in the remaining years of my young adult life, I must be productive. That I should do whatever I want because after all, I CAN do them now. Having to do something else aside from work would do me good, at least that will prompt me to get a life aside from working. But, just what the hell am I doing?
I just realized how impossible my plans are right now. I want to take up dance classes, enroll in a different course, and do sidelines for extra income but apparently, though I did make initial steps to involve myself, I honestly don't have enough will power to do them yet. It's not that I'm doing them for a show, heck not. I do want to pursue them but I don't want them to eat up my Saturdays and Sundays supposedly intended for rest. The effort I have to do to improve my performance at work is enough to burn me out badly by the end of the week.
And it seems like I'm seeing a repeat of the past here. I've been like this when I was still in the school paper. I intentionally ditched dance practices just so I could focus on my work as a news writer. Maybe this is how I deal with things. And maybe, contrary to what others may think, I am setting out priorities here. That for now, it's work and family.
I'll get back to them soon. I just have to focus on this one first.
Life is sometimes too much to handle.