FIC: "When Voltaire was evil"
(Part One of the Voltaire Arc)
Fandom: Red Dragon (Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal)
Universe: This will be told in an Alternative Universe there will be a lot of inventing and even more craziness from my side.
Rating: G to PG-13
Pairing: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Warnings: crack, humour, slash, M/M
Summary: The devil tips its hat to me - Hannibal wants some pie and Will gives him some
Disclaimer: The characters are not my own, they still belong, believe it or not, to Thomas Harris. Yes, indeed nothing has changed here. *shakes her head* One would assume that with all the times I am borrowing them they would be mine sometime, no?
Oh, and unfortunately I am not making any money with this. God knows I could need it.
Concerning the titles and some excerpts from the story they are based on three songs by Voltaire, “Goodnight Demonslayer”, “When you are evil” and “The Vampire Club”. These are really incredibly funny and create a warm and fuzzy feeling inside me when listening to them.
Notes: Okay, first of all: This is humour - maybe even crack - and therefore not to be taken seriously. I just couldn’t help myself but after listening to the songs in a loop I had to do something about it.
I know that I have started far too many stories already but I just finished “Letter to a Father” and I don’t have my notes of “All the King’s Horses” with me and I have to wait for at least two more hours before I can go home, so, I started with this nice little trilogy.
E.T.A.: This was the note I wrote during spring and now that I finally got around to posting “Letter to a Father” and my notes to “All the King’s Horses are miles away from where I currently live and work, I am continuing this story and I hope to finish the trilogy in the next weeks. ;)
Enjoy!
Visit the website of Voltaire to see what else he has been doing:
www.voltaire.net
“To the Gentlemen I am Misfortune,
To the Ladies I am Surprise”
Once upon a time there was a nice bakeshop owner with the name of Will Graham. He was friends with all his customers and his delicious pies were known throughout town. There was no other baker who could make tarts as sweet and scrumptious, cookies as crumbly and pies as juicy and soft. From all around the county people came to Will’s little shop and bought his bakery.
But not only did Will bake delicious bakery, he also was very beautiful. His Hair was golden like cookie dough and his eyes had the colour of blue sugar sprinkles. There was always a smile on his face and his cheerful disposition brightened the day of every person he met.
Sadly sweet Will was a very lonely person. Although many came to his shop to buy his goods nobody staid longer than to shop. Therefore Will would always eat his peanut butter cookies and the Orange Butter Fingers all alone at home, nobody to share his favourite bakery with.
Our story started on the day when a stranger came into Will’s little shop. A stranger who not only bought the biggest Walnut cake on display but who also staid to try out Will’s Orange Butter Fingers.
There was the chime of the doorbell as the glass door was pushed open and Will looked up to greet his customer. Usually he knew everyone who came to his little bakeshop but the man entering was nobody he had seen before - and he always remembered a face, it was something that he had always been able to do. He smiled happily at the stranger, excited about a new customer and about the distraction from the sadness that had started to creep up on him.
“Good day, sir, what can I do for you?”
The man looked at him from crimson eyes and his face was impassive for a second before a grin curled his lips. “Good day. I was told that one can get the best bakery of the whole county here.”
There was an amused twinkle in the reddish eyes and Will took it as a good sign. If the new customer was in a good mood already, there would be no problems with selling him some of his goods. Placing his hands in the counter Will leaned closer to the man and smiled even wider.
“That is awfully kind of you sir to say that but there are a lot of excellent bakeries in this town, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that this is the best of the town, even less the county.”
“I only repeat what I was told. This shop has been recommended to me by a friend who passed through the town some time ago.”
Will felt a warm feeling spread through him, embarrassed with all the praise he was receiving. He was used to getting compliments for his bakery but still the way the other man looked at him made it sound special. Will couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to the warm look in the crimson eyes than the love for pie and cookies. The sudden thought of inviting the stranger for some Orange Butter Fingers popped up in his head and Will had to fight a blush that suddenly heated his face.
“You and your friend are too kind, really.”
“Not at all,” the grin broadened into a smile and Will saw a row of pearly white teeth shining at him. “What cake or pie would you recommend to me?”
Swallowing the sudden knot in his throat down, Will forced himself to concentrate on his professionalism. He broke contact with the other’s eyes and turned to the glass cases that displayed his different cakes, tarts and pies. “I would recommend something with nuts in it. You don’t look like a fruit person to me.”
“What an astute judgement. It is true I prefer nuts to berries.” The customer leaned over the counter, his crimson eyes resting on Will’s face. “So, which of the many pies and cakes should I buy?”
That was actually an easy decision to make. “I’d recommend the Walnut Delight. It is made with brown flour and Moroccan coffee. I am sure that you will enjoy this particular cake.”
There was the smell of dark coffee clinging to the stranger. It was a heavy and aromatic scent that made Will want to bake a batch of espresso brownies. He would chop some coffee beans and mix them into the batch, maybe even chocolate covered coffee beans. In one word the stranger smelled delicious.
“Hm, walnut?” The voice was pensive but Will noticed the charming twinkle in the reddish eyes. “I would have thought of the Orange-Almond Cake.”
“Oh, how odd. I would never have pegged you as the almond type. You seem too intellectual to eat a different type of nut than walnut.” Will had absent-mindedly muttered his reply and only after saying the words he realized that he had said them loud enough to be heard. “I am so sorry.”
He could feel the heat of a blush and wished to sink into the ground. There was a man he wished to offer some Orange Butter Fingers and he insulted him like this.
His embarrassment was complete when a chuckle conveyed the other’s amusement. “Don’t worry I am not offended.”
“I should not have said that. It was way out of line.”
“I rather take the words as a compliment.” Again the shining white teeth flashed at Will as the customer smiled broadly. “I’ll take the biggest Walnut Delight you have.”
Will didn’t trust his mouth to answer the question and nodded his agreement. When he turned his back to the red eyes he swallowed hard and looked for the biggest cake carton he had. It was a brightly coloured carton with white clouds and many balloons for it was a carton for a children birthday cake.
The stranger watched his movements closely and Will felt a nervousness that made his hands shake slightly. He opened the glass vitrine and carefully took out the large Walnut Delight Cake. It was covered with a white and golden sugar and coffee glaze that swirled in a delicate pattern, shelled walnut halves circling around the edge.
Ever so careful he set the cake down in the paper box. The top was folded closed and he carried the carton over to the counter.
“Here you are.” Shyly Will looked up from the balloon-covered top of the box to the smiling crimson eyes.
He could feel his heart beat harder and faster than it had ever done before. Harder than when he had participated in the last autumn market competition. He had of course won the competition with his Apricot Matcha Mousse Cake. The Apricot Pistachio Mousse and the Matcha sponges had made for a most delightful dessert.
“Thank you. I am sure I will enjoy the cake.”
He handed the box over the counter, hesitating slightly before letting go of the box. Will wanted to say something but he his thoughts were hard to grasp and the words dissolved like sugar in hot water.
For a lack of anything better to say, he wished the stranger a nice day and watched him leave the bakery again. His chest hurt somewhat awfully and his breath was getting shorter. He panicked watching the other disappear from sight.
Will felt so sad even the best Chocolate Puff Pastry would not have cheered him up. He hadn’t felt so depressed and down when he burnt his first batch of Muffins when being a child. It was as if he would never be happy again in his life. Will could not understand how a stranger he had never met before could be so important to him.
Defeated he went to the back of the bakeshop and carried the trays with the oatmeal raisin cookies out, refilling the empty cookie jars. There were still the Strawberry White Chocolate Muffins to refill and the Rosemary bagels to set up. The work would keep him from getting more depressed. It was easy work to divert him.
During the next three weeks Will caught himself watching the entrance more than once, looking for a certain customer with crimson eyes and shining white teeth. In the beginning he had been disappointed every time somebody else but the stranger had entered the bakery but now, twenty-one days later, Will had accepted that he would not meet him again.
Today Molly and Jack were behind the counter because Will had decided to try out some new recipes. He needed to practice for the County Fairs August competition and he needed to decide on a certain recipe as well.
Molly had opened up the bakery with him. She always arrived early because she was a single mother and could only work in the time her son Josh was at school. Jack had arrived around lunchtime and he would close the shop up together with Will.
Jack was a writer of crime stories and he had published a couple of stories that had been published and could be bought at Wal-Mart. During the times he needed a break from writing he liked to help out at Will’s bakery. He was good at guilting people to buy more than they actually wanted and/or needed. Most of the time Will felt bad about Jack’s way of making the customers buy two instead of one cinnamon roll but during his preparation periods for competitions he did not have the time to stay in the shop himself and reign Jack in.
Molly worked full time at the bakeshop, the only time she was not at the bakery were holidays or special occasions. She was only able to work half days but Will was doing well on his own when Jack did not help out.
Will was well into making some revisions to the Ambroisie when Jack stuck his head into the kitchen and looked for him.
“There is a strange guy out in the shop asking for your. Something about a walnut cake?”
He had to swallow and his palms were suddenly sweaty.
He had come back. But what to do now? He was too nervous to act normal in front of the mysterious stranger. Even if the customer would not notice anything odd in his behaviour, Molly and Jack sure would.
“Will?” Jack’s eyes were curious and he had apparently noticed Will’s inner battle.
His timer chose this moment to pings and he had to take care of the dough for the sponges now.
“Send him back here. I can’t leave right now.”
This answer merited an incredulous stare from Jack. As an answer he smiled at him nervously and turned to his cake after his employee and friend left to send the stranger to Will. Will used the short time before his visitor arrived to compose himself and take care of the pistachio almond sponges.
“Good afternoon, my dear Will.” There was definitely amusement in the tone of voice.
The words made him turn around and for the second time in his life he felt crimson eyes meet his and look deep into his soul. He desperately wished for more control over his reaction to the other.
“How do you know my name?”
“Your shop-boy sent me back here, telling me that I would find Will in the kitchen.” The reddish eyes scanned the whole room only to come to rest on Will again. “I hope I am not keeping you from important work.”
“No,” was the hasty reply. “Um, I am experimenting with the Ambroisie recipe to bake something new for a competition.”
Embarrassed for his eager reply to the question Will broke the eye contact and kept them trained on the counter in front of him and the ingredients of the cake. He really had to get his emotions under control. Else he might make a complete fool of himself. That was something he wanted to avoid doing.
“I am keeping you from important work then.”
“No, it is really no problem. You can stay if you like.” Will desperately wished for the other to stay. He was afraid that should he leave now he might not return another time. “I need someone to try my new recipe after all.”
The silence that followed his request was hard on him and Will glanced up from the bowl of raspberries to meet almost equally bright eyes. His sucked in his breath, tasting sugar and smelling the delicious dark coffee scent again.
“I would be honoured to test your new creation. Do you want me to help or am I in your way?”
“You can help.” Will added a ‘please’ as an afterthought.
Nervously he explained on how to prepare the pistachio almond mousse and stared on the chocolate almond mousse. They worked in companionable silence. From time to time Will glanced over to check on the mousse’s progress but they did not exchange any words.
When the mousse was finished he started on finalising the cake. Carefully he put layer on layer, creating a delicious beauty of chocolate, raspberry and pistachio stripes. The cake was perfection and Will felt a proud swelling in his chest as he took his new creation in. He was excited for ... He didn’t even know the name of his delicious smelling stranger.
Once more nervousness had him in its thrall and Will wondered how he could not have asked for a name sooner. It had been terribly rude of him.
“Um,” he anxiously searched for a proper and nice way to rectify this faux pas.
“What is the matter Will?” There was a curiosity and politeness in the other’s behaviour and tone of voice that calmed Will.
“I never asked for your name.” His voice got lower with every word he said. “That was very rude of me.”
“My dear Will. It seems to me that you need to find fault with everything you do.” The indulgent smile showed a row of small white teeth. “My name hasn’t been of any importance so far and therefore it has not come up. This can be easily rectified. My name is Hannibal.”
The uncommon name suited Hannibal. Something common would not be able to express the impact he had on people. Most of all Will. The name most definitely inspired him to new recipes and Will got the idea about trying out a recipe with oven-dried figs as a decoration. Some dark chocolate mousse ought to be good with the sweet flavour of the fruit.
Concentrating on the finishing touches of Ambroisie, Will put the almost finished cake into the fridge to let the chocolate mousse topping harden. While the dessert would finish, Will would clean up the kitchen. He asked Hannibal to take a seat for the duration.
But the other was not inclined to let Will do all the work and so they cleaned the kitchen and the kitchen utensils in companionable silence, brushing past each other from time to time. Never long enough to give it any meaning but often enough to keep Will’s pulse rate elevated.
Once the room was spotless again, the dessert was ready to be tried out. Suddenly Will got nervous again for he feared that Hannibal might not like his changes to the original recipe. He did not know what to do in such a case. It was important to him that the other man liked his creation, he wanted his approval.
Will heated some water and dipped the blade of his cutting knife into it. He wanted the cuts to be precise and good looking. Food was not about the taste alone but about the smell and the look as well. Carefully he cut precise slices that he strategically placed on the white china dessert plate. Some decoration in the form of hacked pistachio nuts and raspberries was added and he handed the plate over to Hannibal.
Nervously he watched the other cut a piece with his fork and eating the first piece. There was no comment on the cake but Hannibal kept eating the slice, his face showing serious concentration and contemplation.
Halfway through the dessert, the plate was set aside and Will swallowed hard. Maybe the recipe was not working. Maybe the tastes of the separate parts did not match. Maybe he had made a mistake during the baking process. Maybe the mousse was too runny or too sweet or…
“This is exquisite, Will.” The crimson eyes shone with appreciation and delight as they pinned him into place.
He could feel a shudder run down his spine, creating a hypersensitivity in his chest and groin. His shirt and pants made him aware of the change in his condition. Apparently Hannibal seemed to have noticed Will’s excitement as well and stepped closer to him, trapping Will against the kitchen counter.
Will fought hard to find his voice and he shakily asked: “Would you like to have some Orange Butter Fingers?”
Although there was no way that Hannibal could have known the significance of this question, he answered by reaching out to Will’s head, caressing his throat and neck. It felt as if the other was trying to sooth him, calm him down.
“I would very much like to eat some Orange Butter Fingers.” The promise shining in the reddish eyes was enough make Will tremble and he sighed softly.
Another caress and then Hannibal stepped back, giving Will more room. The distance between their bodies felt cold and he wished that they never would have to part again. Will wanted to feel this heat and delicious longing forever. It was almost like longing for a fresh lemon sorbet with vodka-marinated plums on a hot summer afternoon.
They were suddenly interrupted when Jack entered the kitchen, getting the tray with the finished gooseberry tarts. He did not look over at them but the mood had changed and Will took the chance to turn to the Ambroisie and finish preparing the portions for Jack, Molly and some of the customers. Now that Hannibal had approved the cake, he would let the others try it as well.
Soon after the interruption in the kitchen Hannibal had left the bakeshop to take care of some personal errands but he had promised to return in the evening and to visit Will about the Orange Butter Fingers. So the whole afternoon Will worried about what to wear and baking a perfect batch of Orange Butter Fingers. His attention was really bad and he almost cut his stomach with the big kitchen knife that was lying on the counter.
At half past six the last customer left the bakeshop and Jack offered to take care of the cleaning and the locking up. This left Will the time to walk home with his baked goods and prepare for his visitor. His house was a ten minute walk away from the bakery. It was a nice and cosy cottage with light blue wooden panelling and a white porch. The windows and the doors were white as well and the garden and the windows were full of flowers, the blooms shining brightly and scenting the air.
Once he was at home Will carried the Orange Butter Fingers into the kitchen and set them on a nice glass plate. That finished he took a hurried shower and dressed in his nicest summer clothes, tan cotton slacks and a white short sleeved shirt. He brushed his damp hair and left it to dry on its own.
He did not have to wait long until there was the sound of knocking at the entrance door and Will hurried to let his guest in. His heart was all aflutter when he saw Hannibal on his front porch. How long had he wished for this to happen?
His guest paid him appropriate compliments about the house, the garden, the furniture and Will’s clothes. All of this meant nothing to him though for the only thing that mattered was what Hannibal thought of Will’s Orange Butter Fingers.
And so when he finally offered the dessert, he anxiously watched the expression on the other’s face. Hannibal’s opinion on his baking skills was just so important to him. His fondest wish was that he would in the future be able to bake his and Hannibal’s favourite sweets just for the both of them. That was why he had to convince the other of his abilities now.
“These are delicious.” Another orange butter finger was eaten and the tension between them grew with every bite of those shining white teeth.
After the last butter finger had disappeared from the plate Will carried it back to the kitchen all the while wondering about how to proceed from here. He wanted Hannibal to stay longer but he had no more butter fingers and no other pastries at home.
Just as he was wondering about the merits of a home-made sorbet, two strong arms wrapped themselves around him and Will turned in the embrace, looking into crimson eyes that shone like pomegranates. The heat he had felt in the afternoon returned tenfold and he fought hard to keep from trembling. The vicinity and the prior anticipation made Will want to bury himself in the other’s arms.
The hands on his back stroked in a soothing rhythm up and down and the movement had Will relaxed and drowsy in no time at all. This must be what bread dough felt when being kneaded.
Will noticed that the enticing coffee scent of Hannibal was even more delicious when up-close. The aromatic smell was better than any perfume could ever be. It called to him and seduced him.
“I have to leave, Will. I have a long drive ahead.” The words were softened by the regret that could be heard in the voice. But still it felt like a stab into his heart.
“You will come back, yes?” Will did not want to let go of Hannibal. He was sure that he would not be able to live without the other next to him.
“I have to travel to the Caribbean and to Europe but I will be back after that.”
The Caribbean and Europe? Desperation took hold of Will. If Hannibal went to Paris or Italy he would meet some baker or cook whose food he’d prefer to Will’s and then Will would be lonely again. The fear of abandonment made him cling tighter to the other and tears welled up in his eyes.
The wetness of the shirt had alarmed Hannibal to Will’s crying and he raised Woll's chin to make himlook up into the crimson eyes. Surprise was reflected in the red colour.
“What is the matter, my dear Will? I will be back in two months and the next time I come I can stay longer.” The question was answered with more tears.
Will forced himself to take a step back and slip out of the pleasurable embrace. He reached up and rubbed at his eyes and cheeks to brush the tears away but also to hide from Hannibal's watchful eyes. It was embarrassing to reveal his fears in such a pitiful way. Certainly Hannibal wouldn’t want somebody as weak and pathetic as him.
When Hannibal reached out to him Will took further steps away from him. He hugged himself and looked down on his shoes. They were nice toffee coloured leather loafers. He had bought them the last time he had visited Baltimore.
“Won’t you say goodbye to me?”
The words got stuck in his throat and for a second Will thought he would choke on them. Instead he glanced at Hannibal who watched him in turn. There was the flash of annoyance in the other’s eyes but then a tranquil mask hid any emotions from Will.
“Very well.” A short nod and a cool goodbye were tossed at him and then Hannibal turned and left, leaving Will in the kitchen.
Once more he cried but this time he did not have to hide the tears from anyone. Will was all too aware of the danger the world presented. There were many more interesting people out there that Hannibal could and most definitely would meet. He stood not a butter flake’s chance in a preheated oven that this story would have a happy ending.
t.b.c. in "Goodnight Voltaire, Goodnight"