#supporthsjryutaro
Let's see if I can write all my feelings into words.
June 27, 2011: I heard the news while I was at work, through Twitter. It was one of the rarest times when I could see Ryutaro's name flooding in my timeline. The first tweet I read, I think was Kamichan's: "So this is the day when the shit finally hit the fan. It was way overdue I guess. Ryutaro, you're an idiot." Then there goes the rest of the Tweets. I was like, what the hell! Is Ryutaro quitting Johnny's? I was already shaking without even knowing the actual news yet. Then there it was, Ryutaro was caught smoking.
My initial reaction, I'll be honest, was disappointment, because I don't like smoking. How I wish all the cigarettes in the world would disappear. I hate the smell, the things it can do to your body, everything! Then I remembered, I did try smoking too when I was in high school. The reason? Same as Ryutaro's: out of curiosity. I mean, it's completely normal at that age! I bet some underage Johnny's have tried smoking too! Ryutaro was just unlucky to have a scoundrel around him, who had to spread all his smoking photos to the media.
But that day, it still isn't confirmed yet. Some say the photos were edited and fake, some say it's for a drama, which is actually one of my dreams-a bad boy role for him. So I took the liberty of flailing over a possibility of a new drama. That day too, my Over CD arrived. I had a reason to be happy. The CD's right in front of me, how could I ignore it? So I shrugged off the issue and flailed over my new Hey! Say! Jump CD. Yet still the issue won't get off my head, I had to seriously give it a thought. I stared at the controversial photo, and read a few tweets from the people I dearly follow on Twitter, then it hit me (thanks Keane for reminding me), Jimusho is very strict about underage smoking! SHIT.
June 28, 2011: Since the issue still isn't confirmed yet, I had to believe that it was all for a drama to be able to at least have a good night sleep. But later that day, my Twitter timeline took away my delusions and broke my heart into pieces. Ryutaro admitted that he has smoked several times in the past and so he was suspended indefinitely. I was at work that time and had to layout friggin' catalog pages! My mind turned all fuzzy and I couldn't concentrate with what I was doing. I had to rush to the toilet to calm myself down. I wanted to cry, but I can't! I don't want to explain to my office mates, they won't understand anyway. Though they did notice I look sad, I had to spill it to one office mate because she's really concerned and wouldn't stop asking me. I appreciate it though. And I'm really thankful to my Twitter buddies who were consoling me. My fellow fangirls are the only ones who can understand what I am going through. They were there, giving me virtual hugs. I sincerely appreciate all of them, I love you guys! You know who you are. Thank you so much!
So I had to endure the entire day at work and pretend everything is okay. When I got home, I had to let it all out. My RL friends must have been thinking that I'm really going crazy, reacting this much over a Japanese idol. I don't care! This is how I feel. If I keep it to myself, that's when I'll really go insane! Ryutaro is my vitamins; my happy pills. He's the reason why I'm actually buying CDs; the reason why I want to watch the concerts someday, the reason why I love Hey! Say! Jump. He's also one of the reasons why I wanted to go to Japan so bad; one of the reasons why I'm studying Japanese language at the moment. When I feel sad, I'll just watch his videos-even the oldest videos can cheer me up! I love him, my heart belongs to him, I'm head over heels for him. If it's not love, then I don't know what else to call it. Call me delusional, crazy, weirdo, go ahead.
I wonder what he's doing right now, how he's feeling right now. Did he go to school? What were his family's reaction? Did they comfort him or scold him? What did the rest of the JUMP members do about the issue? I want to hug him and tell him there are millions of fans out there who're supporting him. Humans make mistakes, don't let this put him down. The only thing I fear is that he might think fans will hate him and would think of actually quitting because he can't face his fans anymore. I know he's not stupid and I have faith in him. If the decision lies with him, he'll be back, DEFINITELY. But if the Jimusho decides to actually pull him out of the group, like they did to Kusano and Uchi, that's my greatest fear.
Meanwhile, they said JUMP activities will continue with just 9 of them. I mean, of course it's a crucial time for them, their 7th single release is tomorrow! That devil knows perfect timing! As for me, to see JUMP without Ryutaro will only just break my heart all over again, so I'm not watching any shows/guestings until he comes back. I might go on a semi-hiatus in the fandom for a while, or I'll spend the "waiting days" watching all the Ryutaro videos I have. I don't know. I really don't know anymore. If this turns out to be the worst case scenario of him actually quitting, I really don't know how I would move on.
This was the scene where I fell in love with him at first sight, two years ago.
The smile that changed my life.
I need you back Mr. Hey! Say! Words!, I'll miss you! I'll be waiting for you.
I love you.
June 27, 2011: I heard the news while I was at work, through Twitter. It was one of the rarest times when I could see Ryutaro's name flooding in my timeline. The first tweet I read, I think was Kamichan's: "So this is the day when the shit finally hit the fan. It was way overdue I guess. Ryutaro, you're an idiot." Then there goes the rest of the Tweets. I was like, what the hell! Is Ryutaro quitting Johnny's? I was already shaking without even knowing the actual news yet. Then there it was, Ryutaro was caught smoking.
My initial reaction, I'll be honest, was disappointment, because I don't like smoking. How I wish all the cigarettes in the world would disappear. I hate the smell, the things it can do to your body, everything! Then I remembered, I did try smoking too when I was in high school. The reason? Same as Ryutaro's: out of curiosity. I mean, it's completely normal at that age! I bet some underage Johnny's have tried smoking too! Ryutaro was just unlucky to have a scoundrel around him, who had to spread all his smoking photos to the media.
But that day, it still isn't confirmed yet. Some say the photos were edited and fake, some say it's for a drama, which is actually one of my dreams-a bad boy role for him. So I took the liberty of flailing over a possibility of a new drama. That day too, my Over CD arrived. I had a reason to be happy. The CD's right in front of me, how could I ignore it? So I shrugged off the issue and flailed over my new Hey! Say! Jump CD. Yet still the issue won't get off my head, I had to seriously give it a thought. I stared at the controversial photo, and read a few tweets from the people I dearly follow on Twitter, then it hit me (thanks Keane for reminding me), Jimusho is very strict about underage smoking! SHIT.
June 28, 2011: Since the issue still isn't confirmed yet, I had to believe that it was all for a drama to be able to at least have a good night sleep. But later that day, my Twitter timeline took away my delusions and broke my heart into pieces. Ryutaro admitted that he has smoked several times in the past and so he was suspended indefinitely. I was at work that time and had to layout friggin' catalog pages! My mind turned all fuzzy and I couldn't concentrate with what I was doing. I had to rush to the toilet to calm myself down. I wanted to cry, but I can't! I don't want to explain to my office mates, they won't understand anyway. Though they did notice I look sad, I had to spill it to one office mate because she's really concerned and wouldn't stop asking me. I appreciate it though. And I'm really thankful to my Twitter buddies who were consoling me. My fellow fangirls are the only ones who can understand what I am going through. They were there, giving me virtual hugs. I sincerely appreciate all of them, I love you guys! You know who you are. Thank you so much!
So I had to endure the entire day at work and pretend everything is okay. When I got home, I had to let it all out. My RL friends must have been thinking that I'm really going crazy, reacting this much over a Japanese idol. I don't care! This is how I feel. If I keep it to myself, that's when I'll really go insane! Ryutaro is my vitamins; my happy pills. He's the reason why I'm actually buying CDs; the reason why I want to watch the concerts someday, the reason why I love Hey! Say! Jump. He's also one of the reasons why I wanted to go to Japan so bad; one of the reasons why I'm studying Japanese language at the moment. When I feel sad, I'll just watch his videos-even the oldest videos can cheer me up! I love him, my heart belongs to him, I'm head over heels for him. If it's not love, then I don't know what else to call it. Call me delusional, crazy, weirdo, go ahead.
I wonder what he's doing right now, how he's feeling right now. Did he go to school? What were his family's reaction? Did they comfort him or scold him? What did the rest of the JUMP members do about the issue? I want to hug him and tell him there are millions of fans out there who're supporting him. Humans make mistakes, don't let this put him down. The only thing I fear is that he might think fans will hate him and would think of actually quitting because he can't face his fans anymore. I know he's not stupid and I have faith in him. If the decision lies with him, he'll be back, DEFINITELY. But if the Jimusho decides to actually pull him out of the group, like they did to Kusano and Uchi, that's my greatest fear.
Meanwhile, they said JUMP activities will continue with just 9 of them. I mean, of course it's a crucial time for them, their 7th single release is tomorrow! That devil knows perfect timing! As for me, to see JUMP without Ryutaro will only just break my heart all over again, so I'm not watching any shows/guestings until he comes back. I might go on a semi-hiatus in the fandom for a while, or I'll spend the "waiting days" watching all the Ryutaro videos I have. I don't know. I really don't know anymore. If this turns out to be the worst case scenario of him actually quitting, I really don't know how I would move on.
This was the scene where I fell in love with him at first sight, two years ago.
The smile that changed my life.
I need you back Mr. Hey! Say! Words!, I'll miss you! I'll be waiting for you.
I love you.