Tyler and Caroline, why so hilarious and straightforward? Ahahaha. Tyler: How's your love triangle? Is it awkward? Seems like it would be. Caroline: Damon I am off to bang a werewolf you skimped on your social obligations talk later! I love them deeply.
Oh Damon. He just doesn't care. That's why he has a closet full of maps, and thumbtacks of brotherly indifference, and post-its of non-yearning.
Elena: Damon would you put on this necklace? Damon: Howwwwwwww do normal loyal brothers not in love with their brother's ladies even act? Howwwwwwwwwww. This is so difficult. Should I be naked... or not? THIS IS A CONUNDRUM... I must pick up a picture of them together and very subtly touch pictured face of brother and much less subtly touch pictured face of lady. That'll be appropriate.
Stefan: I just rip people apart. Like a crazy. Sarah has never loved me more. Stefan: What to do about beloved brother, now left handling my distraught beloved Elena, with whom he is in love? Stefan: Must murder brother's girlfriend so he is a single gentleman and all his time can be for Elena. That's a good scheme.
I am shrieking with laughter! Post-its of non-yearning! Stefan's good schemes! Damon's subtle picture touching! ♥ ♥ ♥
Caroline & Damon are so entertaining to me. She just goes through his stuff and plans parties at his house. And, basically, everyone just walks into Damon's house now like they own it. Because Elena technically owns it. And she's pretty much Damon's sister-in-law/wife anyway. I bet even Tyler just strolls right on in there.
Seriously, my Caroline, she's like the most well adjusted vampire on this motherfucking show and I love that. It's like she's got 2 vampire daddies and she's taken the best from both of them.
Also, it would be a HORRID WASTE for her to ever sleep with a human again. CLEARLY.
Horror! Everyone who Katherine sleeps with dies! Caroline is in too many dangerous situations already! (You just step off, Mrs Lockwood, you step off right now or else.) I am in a constant state of worry about Caroline. Surely, surely the show would be mad to off her.
Matt can go anytime, though. He's in scenes with Jeremy now? Whatever. I was just in those scenes for Anna's face.
Damon's house, party central. Next Alaric moves in to share the good scotch. Or Elena and Jeremy move in because property taxes, and Jeremy looks up to you! Damon, responsible for everything. Except his little brother, for whom he is the damsel in distress who must be safeguarded. Klaus thinks Elena is dead: he is literally and explicitly just hanging Damon's safety over Stefan's head. Yes... sweet, fragile Damon. Laughing for years.
KLAUS: Which will it be, Stefan, Metropolis or Damon? *twirls mustache* STEFAN: My fair Damon, I will save you!
Come home, Stefan, they love you. Don't go home for ages, though. Be evil for ages, and let Damon and Elena sleep together and then decide they can *never be together* because they must save Stefan from the darkness. Show, I thank thee for this priceless gift of evil Stefan, and I will treasure him.
Oh Damon. He just doesn't care. That's why he has a closet full of maps, and thumbtacks of brotherly indifference, and post-its of non-yearning.
Elena: Damon would you put on this necklace?
Damon: Howwwwwwww do normal loyal brothers not in love with their brother's ladies even act? Howwwwwwwwwww. This is so difficult. Should I be naked... or not? THIS IS A CONUNDRUM... I must pick up a picture of them together and very subtly touch pictured face of brother and much less subtly touch pictured face of lady. That'll be appropriate.
Stefan: I just rip people apart. Like a crazy. Sarah has never loved me more.
Stefan: What to do about beloved brother, now left handling my distraught beloved Elena, with whom he is in love?
Stefan: Must murder brother's girlfriend so he is a single gentleman and all his time can be for Elena. That's a good scheme.
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Caroline & Damon are so entertaining to me. She just goes through his stuff and plans parties at his house. And, basically, everyone just walks into Damon's house now like they own it. Because Elena technically owns it. And she's pretty much Damon's sister-in-law/wife anyway. I bet even Tyler just strolls right on in there.
Seriously, my Caroline, she's like the most well adjusted vampire on this motherfucking show and I love that. It's like she's got 2 vampire daddies and she's taken the best from both of them.
Also, it would be a HORRID WASTE for her to ever sleep with a human again. CLEARLY.
Caroline/Katherine sex IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES.
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Matt can go anytime, though. He's in scenes with Jeremy now? Whatever. I was just in those scenes for Anna's face.
Damon's house, party central. Next Alaric moves in to share the good scotch. Or Elena and Jeremy move in because property taxes, and Jeremy looks up to you! Damon, responsible for everything. Except his little brother, for whom he is the damsel in distress who must be safeguarded. Klaus thinks Elena is dead: he is literally and explicitly just hanging Damon's safety over Stefan's head. Yes... sweet, fragile Damon. Laughing for years.
KLAUS: Which will it be, Stefan, Metropolis or Damon? *twirls mustache*
STEFAN: My fair Damon, I will save you!
Come home, Stefan, they love you. Don't go home for ages, though. Be evil for ages, and let Damon and Elena sleep together and then decide they can *never be together* because they must save Stefan from the darkness. Show, I thank thee for this priceless gift of evil Stefan, and I will treasure him.
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Will you be my friend so I can enjoy your lovely TVD humorous insights?
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