Writing moments on the wall with different colours keeps my mind away from missing you
I was going through some of my older journal entries last night and found one in particular that kinda stood out. In fact it was an entry that I wrote up almost exactly three years ago. Why am I rehashing an entry that I wrote back in 2008? Part of me feels that it is still relevant today. I made a few edits here and there, but for the most part, the entry remains intact.
Thought Du Jour
"You ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you, how many moments of other peoples lives have we been in, we're we a part of someone's life when their dreams came true, or were we there when their dreams died. Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there, or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it."
***
Many people would take photographs to capture the different moments in their lives. The human mind acts like the camera as it selectively captures and retains the moments that are considered to be important. Sometimes we capture more than what we intend to. Other times we may miss out on what we wanted to capture, but in the end these moments define what we become and they also define whether we're living truly satisfying lives.
Our desire for happiness masks the true unpleasant nature of reality. It is our desire to find happiness, our pursuit of happiness that keeps us going everyday. Some days we may find these moments of happiness. Other days will just slip past our memories and will be forgotten. There are other days that contain sad/unpleasant moments to keeps us grounded in this world. Our memories are tucked away nicely into the back of our minds like photos hidden in the pages of our photo albums. As time passes by, we would often look back into the past and try to relive those happy moments… no matter how fleeting that happiness may be.
Our human experiences are constrained by time. What we currently experience will be nothing but a memory as time passes by. Once the cheerful moment is gone, things will seem a bit plain… perhaps a bit stale. While joyous memories may provide a general sense of happiness, it can also trigger moments of sadness. Depending on the current condition, one may become sad knowing that the happy moment has passed by. So is this trade-off really worth it? Should we remember the happy moments in our lives since it may only bring us sadness when we realize that happiness is gone? I think it’s all worth it. These moments of happiness can also provide a sense of comfort during the times of despair. Like what William Wordsworth once described his memories as “sensations sweet, / Felt in the blood, and felt along the heart, / And passing even into my purer mind / With tranquil restoration.” But remember that we can not truly experience these memories. They linger at the back of our minds, providing a sense of joy, but like the true moments of happiness, they will also eventually fade. These happy memories can also provide great motivation to seek more moments like these in the future. We can not continuously re-enact the past events to achieve happiness, we need to shift our focus to the present… and perhaps to the future. Instead of dwelling on the past, the focus should be on creating new memories - to extract moments that are blissful and joyous to provide something worth remembering in the future. It may take effort to maintain the happiness that we all desire, but the end result will provide a satisfying feeling as we all realize that the good times we experienced were time well wasted.
Nothing in this world is in a standstill as things are forever changing. People come and go, the sun rises and sets, and summer fades to fall; therefore it is no surprise that humans also experience changes in their expectations. What we define as pleasurable changes and perhaps this will help us redefine happiness as well.
As we move away from our search of happiness, let’s take a look at memories in general. The things that make up what we experience and define who we are in the end. Perhaps let’s take a look at what our memories are made of. They could simply be generated from objects that we desire. They could be created because of some special occasion. But of course they are also generated by the people we meet. Family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, no matter who they are, they can somehow impact our lives in a certain way. But lines that separate from what we consider to be friends or acquaintances or in fact strangers are often blurred as time passes by. People either become closer or more distant… and usually they become more distant. We lose touch with those that we have met as a kid. We may lose touch with current friends over trivial things, arguments, failed romantic explorations, money and perhaps physical distance. I suppose that’s where the beauty of technology comes in. We now have phones, online messaging systems and other devices that help us communicate no matter how far we are, but the problem is, the introduction of this technology has also led to the declining quality of interpersonal relationships. We can’t see what the person is thinking on the other end of the MSN conversation or phone conversation. Even to this day, I don’t like talking on the phone. Usually I prefer to just talk to people in person. So as I look back at all those I have met and may have shared memories with, did I lose contact with some of them? Sure. Did I try to maintain contact? Yes, even at the busiest time of my life. So in the end, as much as I would like to stay in contact with those that make up my so-called happiness, those people, like memories, will fade away someday… or perhaps they are fading away as I write this. Whether people choose to be distant or not depends on themselves since I have no control over their desires (nor do I want to control them). As time passes by, things change… people change. The people we cherish and the people we want to maintain contact with will change over time. Our priorities and values change and we no longer appreciate the same things. These are the times when we may also unintentionally let things go. This is another reason why we should look forward - meet new people, make new friends. I consider those that are lucky can retain most (if not all) the friends they made in the past. Even when life feels like it’s in a standstill, we need to find a way to sluggishly move on. Happiness is there waiting for us… are we ready to claim it?
So here I stand, looking at the pictures in my head. Are these good pictures? Did I experience happiness? Am I happy with all the decisions that I made? Am I happy with who I’m standing with in the pictures? Am I still in contact with those that made me happy? I can’t truly answer all these questions now… since there is so much more to experience. There are so many memories to be made, even if there are those that will eventually choose not to make them with me. To those that I no longer know, have a good one. To those that are still there for me, thank you and I hope to be able to be able to share many more moments with you in the future.
I like to reach back and try to incorporate things into building a better future (however this does not mean I’m dwelling on the past, I just want to build on top of what I’ve already experienced). It is unfortunate not everyone likes to do that and that’s one of the reason why people disappear from our lives. Looking back at all the images, I can see the progression of time… I can see the changes, both positive and negative. Things break down and things fall apart, but whether we decide to restore things… it all depends on ourselves. It all depends on who wants to take that initiative to make things right. The future can be built upon the happiness generated from the past, only if one desires to do so.
Now it's time for you to take a look at the picture. What do you see? Are you happy?
Thought Du Jour
"You ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you, how many moments of other peoples lives have we been in, we're we a part of someone's life when their dreams came true, or were we there when their dreams died. Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there, or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it."
***
Many people would take photographs to capture the different moments in their lives. The human mind acts like the camera as it selectively captures and retains the moments that are considered to be important. Sometimes we capture more than what we intend to. Other times we may miss out on what we wanted to capture, but in the end these moments define what we become and they also define whether we're living truly satisfying lives.
Our desire for happiness masks the true unpleasant nature of reality. It is our desire to find happiness, our pursuit of happiness that keeps us going everyday. Some days we may find these moments of happiness. Other days will just slip past our memories and will be forgotten. There are other days that contain sad/unpleasant moments to keeps us grounded in this world. Our memories are tucked away nicely into the back of our minds like photos hidden in the pages of our photo albums. As time passes by, we would often look back into the past and try to relive those happy moments… no matter how fleeting that happiness may be.
Our human experiences are constrained by time. What we currently experience will be nothing but a memory as time passes by. Once the cheerful moment is gone, things will seem a bit plain… perhaps a bit stale. While joyous memories may provide a general sense of happiness, it can also trigger moments of sadness. Depending on the current condition, one may become sad knowing that the happy moment has passed by. So is this trade-off really worth it? Should we remember the happy moments in our lives since it may only bring us sadness when we realize that happiness is gone? I think it’s all worth it. These moments of happiness can also provide a sense of comfort during the times of despair. Like what William Wordsworth once described his memories as “sensations sweet, / Felt in the blood, and felt along the heart, / And passing even into my purer mind / With tranquil restoration.” But remember that we can not truly experience these memories. They linger at the back of our minds, providing a sense of joy, but like the true moments of happiness, they will also eventually fade. These happy memories can also provide great motivation to seek more moments like these in the future. We can not continuously re-enact the past events to achieve happiness, we need to shift our focus to the present… and perhaps to the future. Instead of dwelling on the past, the focus should be on creating new memories - to extract moments that are blissful and joyous to provide something worth remembering in the future. It may take effort to maintain the happiness that we all desire, but the end result will provide a satisfying feeling as we all realize that the good times we experienced were time well wasted.
Nothing in this world is in a standstill as things are forever changing. People come and go, the sun rises and sets, and summer fades to fall; therefore it is no surprise that humans also experience changes in their expectations. What we define as pleasurable changes and perhaps this will help us redefine happiness as well.
As we move away from our search of happiness, let’s take a look at memories in general. The things that make up what we experience and define who we are in the end. Perhaps let’s take a look at what our memories are made of. They could simply be generated from objects that we desire. They could be created because of some special occasion. But of course they are also generated by the people we meet. Family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, no matter who they are, they can somehow impact our lives in a certain way. But lines that separate from what we consider to be friends or acquaintances or in fact strangers are often blurred as time passes by. People either become closer or more distant… and usually they become more distant. We lose touch with those that we have met as a kid. We may lose touch with current friends over trivial things, arguments, failed romantic explorations, money and perhaps physical distance. I suppose that’s where the beauty of technology comes in. We now have phones, online messaging systems and other devices that help us communicate no matter how far we are, but the problem is, the introduction of this technology has also led to the declining quality of interpersonal relationships. We can’t see what the person is thinking on the other end of the MSN conversation or phone conversation. Even to this day, I don’t like talking on the phone. Usually I prefer to just talk to people in person. So as I look back at all those I have met and may have shared memories with, did I lose contact with some of them? Sure. Did I try to maintain contact? Yes, even at the busiest time of my life. So in the end, as much as I would like to stay in contact with those that make up my so-called happiness, those people, like memories, will fade away someday… or perhaps they are fading away as I write this. Whether people choose to be distant or not depends on themselves since I have no control over their desires (nor do I want to control them). As time passes by, things change… people change. The people we cherish and the people we want to maintain contact with will change over time. Our priorities and values change and we no longer appreciate the same things. These are the times when we may also unintentionally let things go. This is another reason why we should look forward - meet new people, make new friends. I consider those that are lucky can retain most (if not all) the friends they made in the past. Even when life feels like it’s in a standstill, we need to find a way to sluggishly move on. Happiness is there waiting for us… are we ready to claim it?
So here I stand, looking at the pictures in my head. Are these good pictures? Did I experience happiness? Am I happy with all the decisions that I made? Am I happy with who I’m standing with in the pictures? Am I still in contact with those that made me happy? I can’t truly answer all these questions now… since there is so much more to experience. There are so many memories to be made, even if there are those that will eventually choose not to make them with me. To those that I no longer know, have a good one. To those that are still there for me, thank you and I hope to be able to be able to share many more moments with you in the future.
I like to reach back and try to incorporate things into building a better future (however this does not mean I’m dwelling on the past, I just want to build on top of what I’ve already experienced). It is unfortunate not everyone likes to do that and that’s one of the reason why people disappear from our lives. Looking back at all the images, I can see the progression of time… I can see the changes, both positive and negative. Things break down and things fall apart, but whether we decide to restore things… it all depends on ourselves. It all depends on who wants to take that initiative to make things right. The future can be built upon the happiness generated from the past, only if one desires to do so.
Now it's time for you to take a look at the picture. What do you see? Are you happy?