Leech - AoixUruhaxAoi - 22a/25
Title: Leech
Chapter: 22a
Author: infinitysanti (silveryxdark)
Rating: PG-13-R (overall)
Pairings: AoixUruhaxAoi [main], AoixOC, ReitaxRuki, UruhaxKai, UruhaxOC, mild MikuxKanon
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama
Warning: Malexmale pairing, sex, violence, past rape, self-harm, swears
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing except the plot and OCs popping up in here. All mine~
Summary: AU. Shiroyama Yuu leads a good enough life - he owns a guitar store passed down to him by his late parents, is a skilled guitarist in a promising underground band, and has the best friends he could ever have imagined of having. But deep down he is lonely and hides a bitter secret, craving true love. When Kouyou comes along, beautiful and seductive with secrets of his own, Yuu falls for the one man he shouldn't fall for.
A/N: At the end.
Previous Chapters
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18a] [18b] [19] [20] [21]
Yuu opened his eyes, waking up from what seemed like a terribly deep sleep. He noticed, first, that the bed did not feel as soft as his own, and the sheets felt a little coarser than he was used to. And he certainly was not in his own clothes. And that there was something squeezing his right hand.
Blinking, he realised that he was not in his own room, either. Everything was too... white for it. The fluorescent white lights, sterilised white walls, starched white sheets - he was in a hospital. He had been in one plenty of times before. How did he end up here?
He groaned softly, his throat feeling dry, and he shook his head. He looked to his right and froze. Kouyou. Kouyou was resting his head on the edge of the bed on his arms, one hand tightly clutching Yuu's. Kouyou's face was turned up to his, and he could see a frown creasing his (former?) lover's face. He heard his name falling from Kouyou's lips in a distressed tone, and it broke his heart.
Could he trust Kouyou again? The other alternative - pushing him away - had resulted in so much distress and pain for them all. There had not been anything good coming out from that decision.
His thighs itched, and he felt guilty for that, too. He should not have even thought about cutting.
He looked to Kouyou again, heart twinging in pain, before looking up. Yutaka was curled up on a chair. He was frowning in his sleep, looking uneasy. Yutaka. God, he had missed his best friend. He was pissed that Yutaka had run away from the problem, but... knowing Yutaka, he never was very good at coping with problems, running away first before thinking about the whole issue. And he was back. Maybe they could all resolve this, at last.
"Yuu, you're up," a voice said, sounding relieved.
Yuu turned to his left to see Takanori, getting up from the couch, while Akira was rubbing his eyes blearily, seemingly unaware of anything else just yet. Takanori had a relieved smile on his face as he walked closer to the bed.
Yuu wanted to speak, but then all he could get out was a hoarse croak. Takanori frowned and walked to the side of the bed quickly, pouring Yuu a paper cup of water. Akira got up, too, and helped Yuu to sit up, while Yuu continued to hold on tightly to Kouyou's hand. Yuu knew that Kouyou could be a heavy sleeper.
He took a sip, and slowly began to drink it with his one free hand. Finishing it, he let out a soft cough and licked his lips. Well then - his throat felt far better already. He smiled gratefully up at Takanori, who grinned back.
"What's the time now?" he asked.
"It's... seven thirty in the morning. None of us went home, obviously... we did not know what time you'd be up. We're lucky, we managed to get you in this room so we could stay overnight. We were all waiting," Takanori replied, and nodded towards Kouyou. "Especially him."
Yuu's heart ached once more as he looked at Kouyou, too. It seemed to him that Kouyou looked a little bit gaunt, and it worried him. Staring at him further, Yuu did not think that Kouyou looked like he had been eating or sleeping well at all. He bit his lip, slowly reaching out to caress Kouyou's cheek.
A few seconds later, Kouyou awoke from the touch, and he opened his eyes blearily, blinking. Yuu watched those dark eyes he loved opening, and then Kouyou raised his head, still holding on to Yuu's hand, eyes widened in half-shock and half-relief. Yuu stared back, taking in those features.
"You're up," Kouyou said softly, as though unable to believe it.
"Yeah, I am," Yuu replied, just as softly.
Kouyou's eyes filled with tears then. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, Yuu... I was so afraid, god, I thought you might not wake up. I was so scared... what if something went wrong, Yuu? Takanori said there was so much blood... I'm so sorry, Yuu. I never wanted to hurt you. Yuu... I love you."
There was no denying that Kouyou was speaking the truth. He had been so terribly blind not to see it. His throat felt constricted, his heart hurting further.
"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have been so stupid. I never meant to commit suicide, never. Believe me. I... I was just getting so depressed, and... the razor was there and I felt so lost. I just began to cut myself again, the pain was too much... but I didn't know it would get so serious," he said, blinking his own tears away.
All he had wanted was some kind of relief from all the emotions that were overwhelming him, but suicide had never crossed his mind. But it had almost happened. He had almost left everyone he loved behind.
"Yuu?" Yutaka's voice said, and Yuu looked up.
Yutaka was up, too. He looked, if possible, even more haggard than Kouyou did. The guilt on his face was plain, and Yuu knew how much he regretted setting all this in motion.
"I think I'm the one who carries the most blame. I should never have kissed Kouyou, I was stupid and obsessed. Being drunk was definitely no excuse for my behaviour. I... I had wanted Kouyou then... and I wanted to see if he really loved you. And I was jealous of your relationship. It seemed so strong and I felt so fucking lonely. It got so unbearable.
"I did not understand, too, why I wasn't the one to change Kouyou. I understood nothing and I felt so distant from all of you. I was... so lonely. My parents are furious that I ran away, and... I don't have anyone to love, nor anyone to love me. You guys have these wonderful, loving relationships and I was jealous of that. I know, I'm a fucking bastard for all of that. And I'm truly sorry. I know I'm in the wrong."
"Why did you run away? And do you still have any feelings for Kouyou?" Akira said heatedly, breaking his silence.
Yutaka looked at him, and back to Yuu. "No. I don't, not any more. After all that's happened... I've been thinking, a lot, and... no. I don't feel anything anymore. Maybe once... but not any longer. I'm really sorry for what I did. For all the pain I caused.
"I woke up that morning to see Kouyou curled up on his bed, crying, with Yuu gone. I realised what I had done, I was sober and my head was killing me. I didn't know what to do then... an apology didn't seem sufficient. So... I did what I've been doing all this time. I ran away. I was ashamed. I went to stay with a Japanese friend I met back in America. I was afraid of what other problems I might cause if I stayed, if I couldn't control myself. And then... last night happened."
Akira looked less furious, even if a little anger remained in his gaze as he looked at Yutaka. Yuu and Kouyou both looked lost in thought, while Takanori had a little relieved smile on his face.
Yuu did not think that Yutaka should have run away or kissed Kouyou anything. He was still a little angry for all that had happened - but the past could not be changed, could it? All they could do now was try and fix all the problems they had caused, to try easing all the pain everyone had undergone, and then move on.
"Yutaka, it's going to be all right, I think," Yuu said, with a smile. Looking at Takanori, he then said, "Kouyou, Akira, Yutaka... do you think you could go out for a moment? I need to talk to Takanori alone for a little while."
Takanori looked unsurprised, while the others nodded. Akira and Yutaka left first, while Kouyou seemed reluctant to leave. Yuu squeezed the honey blond's hand reassuringly. "I think... I could talk to you later," he said, stroking Kouyou's hand.
"Really?" Kouyou said hopefully.
"We'll talk and sort this all out. Maybe more. Promise," Yuu said, giving Kouyou a smile, and the smile that touched Kouyou's own lips made his heart soar.
Kouyou nodded and stood, leaving the room. Yuu watched him go, a tad reluctant to have him leave, but he definitely needed to talk to Takanori alone.
The blond sat down where Kouyou previously had, and asked, "Feeling better?"
Yuu knew exactly what he meant. "Much better. I think... that talk was needed a long time ago, you know? Maybe if we all sorted out our feelings and everything earlier, this wouldn't have happened."
"It's really better, hm?" Takanori said with a smile.
"I suppose near-death does that to you. I was so blind... so very, very stupid. I was too afraid to trust Kouyou... even when he was clearly changed, after everything. He would never have told me he loved me, if he didn't mean it. He's been through too much for lying," Yuu said, looking at his hand, which Kouyou had held only minutes ago.
"Now you see," Takanori grinned, and then looked serious again. "You know, Yuu... I was afraid that when you woke up and everything... you would push Kouyou away again and everything. I thought that... I might have to persuade you to tell Kouyou everything. He deserves it, you know. I know he really deserves your trust."
"He does, doesn't he?" Yuu said quietly, looking back at his closest friend. "I don't know, but... it feels like without all of this happening, I might still be closed up and everything. Sometimes you really need shit to happen."
Takanori shrugged. "Yeah, life works like that. We all wish things like that wouldn't happen... but it does. And then that's when you really see things."
Yuu gave a weak chuckle. "Taka, have I ever mentioned how... wise you are for your age?"
"Plenty of times," Takanori said, laughing softly. "So... Yuu, are you up for talking to Kouyou? Or do you need rest? You look pretty tired."
Yuu smiled. "I think I need to rest. I think... I've been up for less than an hour and all of this has happened, all this talking and resolving problems and stuff. But get Kouyou to come in, won't you?"
Takanori grinned and nodded. "Have a good rest, then."
He stood up and walked outside, and moments later, Kouyou came in. He looked a little bit anxious, and sat down next to Yuu. "Do you feel okay?"
"Yeah, but tired. Hold my hand while I sleep, Kou," Yuu said. "I'll talk to you later."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
I am so, so very sorry for the incredibly late update. I've been feeling tired and unmotivated to be honest, and my brain was kind of completely... imploded. Yeah. Still. I'm sorry. :/ I meant to update this last night, but things cropped up, it was 3am, and I had to get up in 4 hours. Even if I AM hyper atm despite only 4 hours of sleep. O_O
I had to split this into two parts, mainly cause 22 was kinda like THE big chapter (XD) and it would get mega long. Updates tonight/tomorrow morning though~ I promise. ^^
Chapter: 22a
Author: infinitysanti (silveryxdark)
Rating: PG-13-R (overall)
Pairings: AoixUruhaxAoi [main], AoixOC, ReitaxRuki, UruhaxKai, UruhaxOC, mild MikuxKanon
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama
Warning: Malexmale pairing, sex, violence, past rape, self-harm, swears
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing except the plot and OCs popping up in here. All mine~
Summary: AU. Shiroyama Yuu leads a good enough life - he owns a guitar store passed down to him by his late parents, is a skilled guitarist in a promising underground band, and has the best friends he could ever have imagined of having. But deep down he is lonely and hides a bitter secret, craving true love. When Kouyou comes along, beautiful and seductive with secrets of his own, Yuu falls for the one man he shouldn't fall for.
A/N: At the end.
Previous Chapters
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18a] [18b] [19] [20] [21]
Yuu opened his eyes, waking up from what seemed like a terribly deep sleep. He noticed, first, that the bed did not feel as soft as his own, and the sheets felt a little coarser than he was used to. And he certainly was not in his own clothes. And that there was something squeezing his right hand.
Blinking, he realised that he was not in his own room, either. Everything was too... white for it. The fluorescent white lights, sterilised white walls, starched white sheets - he was in a hospital. He had been in one plenty of times before. How did he end up here?
He groaned softly, his throat feeling dry, and he shook his head. He looked to his right and froze. Kouyou. Kouyou was resting his head on the edge of the bed on his arms, one hand tightly clutching Yuu's. Kouyou's face was turned up to his, and he could see a frown creasing his (former?) lover's face. He heard his name falling from Kouyou's lips in a distressed tone, and it broke his heart.
Could he trust Kouyou again? The other alternative - pushing him away - had resulted in so much distress and pain for them all. There had not been anything good coming out from that decision.
His thighs itched, and he felt guilty for that, too. He should not have even thought about cutting.
He looked to Kouyou again, heart twinging in pain, before looking up. Yutaka was curled up on a chair. He was frowning in his sleep, looking uneasy. Yutaka. God, he had missed his best friend. He was pissed that Yutaka had run away from the problem, but... knowing Yutaka, he never was very good at coping with problems, running away first before thinking about the whole issue. And he was back. Maybe they could all resolve this, at last.
"Yuu, you're up," a voice said, sounding relieved.
Yuu turned to his left to see Takanori, getting up from the couch, while Akira was rubbing his eyes blearily, seemingly unaware of anything else just yet. Takanori had a relieved smile on his face as he walked closer to the bed.
Yuu wanted to speak, but then all he could get out was a hoarse croak. Takanori frowned and walked to the side of the bed quickly, pouring Yuu a paper cup of water. Akira got up, too, and helped Yuu to sit up, while Yuu continued to hold on tightly to Kouyou's hand. Yuu knew that Kouyou could be a heavy sleeper.
He took a sip, and slowly began to drink it with his one free hand. Finishing it, he let out a soft cough and licked his lips. Well then - his throat felt far better already. He smiled gratefully up at Takanori, who grinned back.
"What's the time now?" he asked.
"It's... seven thirty in the morning. None of us went home, obviously... we did not know what time you'd be up. We're lucky, we managed to get you in this room so we could stay overnight. We were all waiting," Takanori replied, and nodded towards Kouyou. "Especially him."
Yuu's heart ached once more as he looked at Kouyou, too. It seemed to him that Kouyou looked a little bit gaunt, and it worried him. Staring at him further, Yuu did not think that Kouyou looked like he had been eating or sleeping well at all. He bit his lip, slowly reaching out to caress Kouyou's cheek.
A few seconds later, Kouyou awoke from the touch, and he opened his eyes blearily, blinking. Yuu watched those dark eyes he loved opening, and then Kouyou raised his head, still holding on to Yuu's hand, eyes widened in half-shock and half-relief. Yuu stared back, taking in those features.
"You're up," Kouyou said softly, as though unable to believe it.
"Yeah, I am," Yuu replied, just as softly.
Kouyou's eyes filled with tears then. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, Yuu... I was so afraid, god, I thought you might not wake up. I was so scared... what if something went wrong, Yuu? Takanori said there was so much blood... I'm so sorry, Yuu. I never wanted to hurt you. Yuu... I love you."
There was no denying that Kouyou was speaking the truth. He had been so terribly blind not to see it. His throat felt constricted, his heart hurting further.
"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have been so stupid. I never meant to commit suicide, never. Believe me. I... I was just getting so depressed, and... the razor was there and I felt so lost. I just began to cut myself again, the pain was too much... but I didn't know it would get so serious," he said, blinking his own tears away.
All he had wanted was some kind of relief from all the emotions that were overwhelming him, but suicide had never crossed his mind. But it had almost happened. He had almost left everyone he loved behind.
"Yuu?" Yutaka's voice said, and Yuu looked up.
Yutaka was up, too. He looked, if possible, even more haggard than Kouyou did. The guilt on his face was plain, and Yuu knew how much he regretted setting all this in motion.
"I think I'm the one who carries the most blame. I should never have kissed Kouyou, I was stupid and obsessed. Being drunk was definitely no excuse for my behaviour. I... I had wanted Kouyou then... and I wanted to see if he really loved you. And I was jealous of your relationship. It seemed so strong and I felt so fucking lonely. It got so unbearable.
"I did not understand, too, why I wasn't the one to change Kouyou. I understood nothing and I felt so distant from all of you. I was... so lonely. My parents are furious that I ran away, and... I don't have anyone to love, nor anyone to love me. You guys have these wonderful, loving relationships and I was jealous of that. I know, I'm a fucking bastard for all of that. And I'm truly sorry. I know I'm in the wrong."
"Why did you run away? And do you still have any feelings for Kouyou?" Akira said heatedly, breaking his silence.
Yutaka looked at him, and back to Yuu. "No. I don't, not any more. After all that's happened... I've been thinking, a lot, and... no. I don't feel anything anymore. Maybe once... but not any longer. I'm really sorry for what I did. For all the pain I caused.
"I woke up that morning to see Kouyou curled up on his bed, crying, with Yuu gone. I realised what I had done, I was sober and my head was killing me. I didn't know what to do then... an apology didn't seem sufficient. So... I did what I've been doing all this time. I ran away. I was ashamed. I went to stay with a Japanese friend I met back in America. I was afraid of what other problems I might cause if I stayed, if I couldn't control myself. And then... last night happened."
Akira looked less furious, even if a little anger remained in his gaze as he looked at Yutaka. Yuu and Kouyou both looked lost in thought, while Takanori had a little relieved smile on his face.
Yuu did not think that Yutaka should have run away or kissed Kouyou anything. He was still a little angry for all that had happened - but the past could not be changed, could it? All they could do now was try and fix all the problems they had caused, to try easing all the pain everyone had undergone, and then move on.
"Yutaka, it's going to be all right, I think," Yuu said, with a smile. Looking at Takanori, he then said, "Kouyou, Akira, Yutaka... do you think you could go out for a moment? I need to talk to Takanori alone for a little while."
Takanori looked unsurprised, while the others nodded. Akira and Yutaka left first, while Kouyou seemed reluctant to leave. Yuu squeezed the honey blond's hand reassuringly. "I think... I could talk to you later," he said, stroking Kouyou's hand.
"Really?" Kouyou said hopefully.
"We'll talk and sort this all out. Maybe more. Promise," Yuu said, giving Kouyou a smile, and the smile that touched Kouyou's own lips made his heart soar.
Kouyou nodded and stood, leaving the room. Yuu watched him go, a tad reluctant to have him leave, but he definitely needed to talk to Takanori alone.
The blond sat down where Kouyou previously had, and asked, "Feeling better?"
Yuu knew exactly what he meant. "Much better. I think... that talk was needed a long time ago, you know? Maybe if we all sorted out our feelings and everything earlier, this wouldn't have happened."
"It's really better, hm?" Takanori said with a smile.
"I suppose near-death does that to you. I was so blind... so very, very stupid. I was too afraid to trust Kouyou... even when he was clearly changed, after everything. He would never have told me he loved me, if he didn't mean it. He's been through too much for lying," Yuu said, looking at his hand, which Kouyou had held only minutes ago.
"Now you see," Takanori grinned, and then looked serious again. "You know, Yuu... I was afraid that when you woke up and everything... you would push Kouyou away again and everything. I thought that... I might have to persuade you to tell Kouyou everything. He deserves it, you know. I know he really deserves your trust."
"He does, doesn't he?" Yuu said quietly, looking back at his closest friend. "I don't know, but... it feels like without all of this happening, I might still be closed up and everything. Sometimes you really need shit to happen."
Takanori shrugged. "Yeah, life works like that. We all wish things like that wouldn't happen... but it does. And then that's when you really see things."
Yuu gave a weak chuckle. "Taka, have I ever mentioned how... wise you are for your age?"
"Plenty of times," Takanori said, laughing softly. "So... Yuu, are you up for talking to Kouyou? Or do you need rest? You look pretty tired."
Yuu smiled. "I think I need to rest. I think... I've been up for less than an hour and all of this has happened, all this talking and resolving problems and stuff. But get Kouyou to come in, won't you?"
Takanori grinned and nodded. "Have a good rest, then."
He stood up and walked outside, and moments later, Kouyou came in. He looked a little bit anxious, and sat down next to Yuu. "Do you feel okay?"
"Yeah, but tired. Hold my hand while I sleep, Kou," Yuu said. "I'll talk to you later."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
I am so, so very sorry for the incredibly late update. I've been feeling tired and unmotivated to be honest, and my brain was kind of completely... imploded. Yeah. Still. I'm sorry. :/ I meant to update this last night, but things cropped up, it was 3am, and I had to get up in 4 hours. Even if I AM hyper atm despite only 4 hours of sleep. O_O
I had to split this into two parts, mainly cause 22 was kinda like THE big chapter (XD) and it would get mega long. Updates tonight/tomorrow morning though~ I promise. ^^