Sinner - KanonxMiku - 9/?
Title: Sinner
Authors: silveryxdark and zhara_zuicide
Pairings: KanonxMiku, TerukixTakuya, YuukixKaiza
Rating: 13
Genre: Romance/drama/angst/yaoi
Warning: Malexmale pairings, violence
Disclaimer: we both do NOT own any of the An Café boys… as much as we would like to it will never happen! Also Kaiza is a made up character.
Summary: Bou has left Antic Cafe and Yuuki and Takuya have just joined. When Kanon sees how Miku and Teruki bond with Yuuki and Takuya, leaving him as the fifth wheel, his pent-up frustration, jealousy and unrequited feelings for a certain vocalist makes him do things he never knew he could.
A/N: Cowritten with Sarah (zhara_zuicide)
Previous Chapters
[Prologue] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]
Regina dedicates this chapter to purplesilklace. (: ILY.
At first Kanon panicked, when Miku was unresponsive for a second, and considered pulling away.
And then Kanon felt Miku's warm, soft lips move gently against his, and he drank in Miku's sweet, rich taste. He had wanted this for so long, to hold Miku like this, to have their lips pressed together like this. It felt like his dreams were coming true. Kanon nearly groaned at how it tasted, how it felt.
He had never once felt anything like it. Maybe close, before, but not exactly like this. This was heady and intoxicating, wonderfully so, and Kanon was sure he was addicted to the drug that was Miku already.
Kanon felt Miku's tongue probe at his lips, and granted him access nervously. He moaned into the kiss as Miku's tongue explored his mouth, his knees growing weak, before Miku suddenly pulled away, gasping, cheeks flushed, the way Kanon's own were. Kanon stumbled back slightly, emotions a whirlwind and thoughts racing a mile a minute - I kissed Miku I just kissed Miku and Miku kissed me back!
Miku was staring at him, looking confused and happy and nervous all at the same time. Kanon did not know how he looked. He did not care. He just... god, he wanted Miku so badly it just about hurt. But now that the sweetness and passion had died down for the moment, he had a sudden moment of fear that this was not going to turn out the way he wanted it to.
"Miku," he gasped out, the name sounding different on his tongue from every other time he had ever said it, filled with a longing that he had never expressed before.
Miku took a long, shuddering breath. "Kanon... I... I didn't... I wasn't supposed... no."
Kanon suddenly felt like his heart had gone cold. Numb with disbelief and disappointment. A little bit of anger was mixed in there, but now... "What... what do you mean?" he whispered, mouth dry.
"I... I wasn't supposed to kiss you," Miku replied, voice wavering.
"What do you mean?" Kanon repeated, suppressing a scream, despair filling his heart.
"I - " Miku paused, looking at Kanon and back down at the floor before mumbling, "I have... a girlfriend."
Kanon blinked. Blinked again. Miku. Girlfriend. The words hardly made sense in his mind. They did not click. But at the same time they somehow did.
Miku was never going to be his, because he already had a girlfriend. A girlfriend he knew absolutely nothing of. Miku was never going to love him now, would he?
The brunette went limp, the anger going out of him. Whatever replaced it felt even worse, tearing him up inside. Tears pricked his eyelids, and he looked away, struggling not to cry.
"Kanon..." Miku's voice murmured. "I'm sorry."
"Why did you kiss me back?" Kanon whispered, crushed. "Why?!"
There was silence from Miku for a few moments, before he made a sort of choked sound. And then there was the sound of the studio door being closed, the soft click that suddenly sounded so loud, painfully so, to Kanon's ears.
He cried. The tears he had suppressed in Miku's presence flowed, choked gasps escaping his lips every now and then. Each beat of his shattered heart pained him. It hurt, it hurt so much.
There was the sound of the doorbell ringing, but Kanon did not care. He stayed where he was, gripping the counter top in the kitchen, body shaking.
"Kanon?" Teruki's voice said, and Kanon looked up.
Teruki, Takuya and Yuuki were there. All three of them carried similar looks of concern, and Teruki rushed over to Kanon first. "Kanon, what happened?"
Kanon shook his head, saying nothing. He was not sure what to say. If anything he said would make sense at all. He felt arms around him, guiding him somewhere. He let them, feeling too terrible to protest.
"Kanon, what happened?" Teruki asked again, a comforting hand on his back. There was a slightly smaller hand there, too, offering warmth and support, and yet another hand on his wrist, squeezing it slightly, reassuringly.
In between sobs, Kanon told them all of what had just happened between him and Miku. He did not even know if his words were garbled, or if they made any sense, but in his mind they did.
"Wait, let me get this straight. You kissed Miku-san, who kissed you back, but told you he has a girlfriend?" Yuuki said softly.
Kanon took a deep breath and nodded. He had calmed down enough to speak properly. "That's it."
"I'm sorry," Takuya murmured.
"Don't be. It's not your fault," Kanon said, though his voice still shook.
"Miku's got issues. I'll need to talk to him," Teruki muttered. "I don't know what is up with him!"
"I didn't even know he had a girlfriend. If I knew.... this wouldn't have happened," Kanon said bitterly. He noticed the looks the other three exchanged, and bit his lower lip, feeling slightly angry, but tried not to direct it at them. "You knew?"
Yuuki looked shamefaced as he said, "Yeah... he told us just a while ago... but he did not want to tell you. Until he was... ready."
"Was he waiting for this?" Kanon snapped, more to himself than to anyone else. "I hate him... I hate him so much..."
Even as he said the words, he knew they were not true. He loved MIku more than anything, anyone else. He had loved Bou, who left. And now he loved Miku - who did not like him at all. Or maybe a little, since he had kissed Kanon back. But it was not enough, not at all.
He was pulled into a group hug by the rest of his band mates, and Teruki said soothingly, "It's going to be okay. Trust me, trust us. It'll be fine."
"It's not. I think I do... I do love him. Why is it always like this?" Kanon said, angry at himself. He wished he was not in love, not with someone like Miku who was breaking his heart left right and centre.
"Sometimes it just is," Yuuki said softly.
The bassist stayed in the group hug, clinging on to their warmth, their comfort. He needed it, when he felt like his heart was broken beyond repair.
Until Miku loves me back, a voice in the back of his head said. Maybe soon... maybe never. But until then.
Don't kill me? *hides*
Authors: silveryxdark and zhara_zuicide
Pairings: KanonxMiku, TerukixTakuya, YuukixKaiza
Rating: 13
Genre: Romance/drama/angst/yaoi
Warning: Malexmale pairings, violence
Disclaimer: we both do NOT own any of the An Café boys… as much as we would like to it will never happen! Also Kaiza is a made up character.
Summary: Bou has left Antic Cafe and Yuuki and Takuya have just joined. When Kanon sees how Miku and Teruki bond with Yuuki and Takuya, leaving him as the fifth wheel, his pent-up frustration, jealousy and unrequited feelings for a certain vocalist makes him do things he never knew he could.
A/N: Cowritten with Sarah (zhara_zuicide)
Previous Chapters
[Prologue] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]
Regina dedicates this chapter to purplesilklace. (: ILY.
At first Kanon panicked, when Miku was unresponsive for a second, and considered pulling away.
And then Kanon felt Miku's warm, soft lips move gently against his, and he drank in Miku's sweet, rich taste. He had wanted this for so long, to hold Miku like this, to have their lips pressed together like this. It felt like his dreams were coming true. Kanon nearly groaned at how it tasted, how it felt.
He had never once felt anything like it. Maybe close, before, but not exactly like this. This was heady and intoxicating, wonderfully so, and Kanon was sure he was addicted to the drug that was Miku already.
Kanon felt Miku's tongue probe at his lips, and granted him access nervously. He moaned into the kiss as Miku's tongue explored his mouth, his knees growing weak, before Miku suddenly pulled away, gasping, cheeks flushed, the way Kanon's own were. Kanon stumbled back slightly, emotions a whirlwind and thoughts racing a mile a minute - I kissed Miku I just kissed Miku and Miku kissed me back!
Miku was staring at him, looking confused and happy and nervous all at the same time. Kanon did not know how he looked. He did not care. He just... god, he wanted Miku so badly it just about hurt. But now that the sweetness and passion had died down for the moment, he had a sudden moment of fear that this was not going to turn out the way he wanted it to.
"Miku," he gasped out, the name sounding different on his tongue from every other time he had ever said it, filled with a longing that he had never expressed before.
Miku took a long, shuddering breath. "Kanon... I... I didn't... I wasn't supposed... no."
Kanon suddenly felt like his heart had gone cold. Numb with disbelief and disappointment. A little bit of anger was mixed in there, but now... "What... what do you mean?" he whispered, mouth dry.
"I... I wasn't supposed to kiss you," Miku replied, voice wavering.
"What do you mean?" Kanon repeated, suppressing a scream, despair filling his heart.
"I - " Miku paused, looking at Kanon and back down at the floor before mumbling, "I have... a girlfriend."
Kanon blinked. Blinked again. Miku. Girlfriend. The words hardly made sense in his mind. They did not click. But at the same time they somehow did.
Miku was never going to be his, because he already had a girlfriend. A girlfriend he knew absolutely nothing of. Miku was never going to love him now, would he?
The brunette went limp, the anger going out of him. Whatever replaced it felt even worse, tearing him up inside. Tears pricked his eyelids, and he looked away, struggling not to cry.
"Kanon..." Miku's voice murmured. "I'm sorry."
"Why did you kiss me back?" Kanon whispered, crushed. "Why?!"
There was silence from Miku for a few moments, before he made a sort of choked sound. And then there was the sound of the studio door being closed, the soft click that suddenly sounded so loud, painfully so, to Kanon's ears.
He cried. The tears he had suppressed in Miku's presence flowed, choked gasps escaping his lips every now and then. Each beat of his shattered heart pained him. It hurt, it hurt so much.
There was the sound of the doorbell ringing, but Kanon did not care. He stayed where he was, gripping the counter top in the kitchen, body shaking.
"Kanon?" Teruki's voice said, and Kanon looked up.
Teruki, Takuya and Yuuki were there. All three of them carried similar looks of concern, and Teruki rushed over to Kanon first. "Kanon, what happened?"
Kanon shook his head, saying nothing. He was not sure what to say. If anything he said would make sense at all. He felt arms around him, guiding him somewhere. He let them, feeling too terrible to protest.
"Kanon, what happened?" Teruki asked again, a comforting hand on his back. There was a slightly smaller hand there, too, offering warmth and support, and yet another hand on his wrist, squeezing it slightly, reassuringly.
In between sobs, Kanon told them all of what had just happened between him and Miku. He did not even know if his words were garbled, or if they made any sense, but in his mind they did.
"Wait, let me get this straight. You kissed Miku-san, who kissed you back, but told you he has a girlfriend?" Yuuki said softly.
Kanon took a deep breath and nodded. He had calmed down enough to speak properly. "That's it."
"I'm sorry," Takuya murmured.
"Don't be. It's not your fault," Kanon said, though his voice still shook.
"Miku's got issues. I'll need to talk to him," Teruki muttered. "I don't know what is up with him!"
"I didn't even know he had a girlfriend. If I knew.... this wouldn't have happened," Kanon said bitterly. He noticed the looks the other three exchanged, and bit his lower lip, feeling slightly angry, but tried not to direct it at them. "You knew?"
Yuuki looked shamefaced as he said, "Yeah... he told us just a while ago... but he did not want to tell you. Until he was... ready."
"Was he waiting for this?" Kanon snapped, more to himself than to anyone else. "I hate him... I hate him so much..."
Even as he said the words, he knew they were not true. He loved MIku more than anything, anyone else. He had loved Bou, who left. And now he loved Miku - who did not like him at all. Or maybe a little, since he had kissed Kanon back. But it was not enough, not at all.
He was pulled into a group hug by the rest of his band mates, and Teruki said soothingly, "It's going to be okay. Trust me, trust us. It'll be fine."
"It's not. I think I do... I do love him. Why is it always like this?" Kanon said, angry at himself. He wished he was not in love, not with someone like Miku who was breaking his heart left right and centre.
"Sometimes it just is," Yuuki said softly.
The bassist stayed in the group hug, clinging on to their warmth, their comfort. He needed it, when he felt like his heart was broken beyond repair.
Until Miku loves me back, a voice in the back of his head said. Maybe soon... maybe never. But until then.
Don't kill me? *hides*