Complaining about University
I am so stressed out right now. This is what you get when you decide to forget everything about your education while on vacation.
On Friday I realized that an exam I thought would be sometime in February is actually on January 17th. I have not learned anything, I have no idea how I'm gonna make it. I have another test on January 28th and I had planned on using this time to prepare for that. Today I used all day reading “Essential Cell Biology” - and I feel like everything I read about had nothing to do with what I’m actually supposed to learn. I’ve read only 4 chapters out of 20 so far. I just feel so unmotivated. I also have a “Cellbiologi” book, it’s a lot shorter and about the actual stuff I’m supposed to know. The only problem is, it’s in Swedish. I would have to concentrate a lot and now I’m not sure what to concentrate on.
On January 21st I’ll have another exam, math, and you have to get 100% right or you fail and won’t be allowed to take this one laboratory class later this spring. There will be other chances to take this exam later, but they are on top of other exams. I learned about this today.
The lectures on Pharmaceutical Technology started before Christmas, but I decided to do nothing for it except just listen. I don’t think I learned anything. We’ll have two tests on it and if you pass them you don’t need to take the exam [he promised that the exam will be really difficult, so I better pass the tests]. The first test will be on February 14th and I have no clue how to get my hands on the book or when I’ll have the time to study.
Organic Chemistry II starts this week and I need the points you’ll get from doing exercises and I have no clue when I’ll have time to first study and then do those. Deadlines: January 27, February 9, 17 and 23 and Mach 11. I’ll need to get these first ones done. And it seems that I’ll have to attend the lectures… I had counted on that wouldn’t have to.
I also have two more classes starting next week. I know that for English I’ll have to write a paper and make an oral presentation at some point. Mostly it’s just that the classes will consume a lot of time since we have to be present on 80% of the time. Meaning I can skip only one day.
I don’t even know if this is what I want to study. If Pharmacy is “my thing”.
…
Wait, I know it’s not my thing.
But it’s something to do and when I do graduate it should be easy to get a job.
This would be so much easier if I didn’t think that I’ll have to do well on everything.
I would be so happy if I didn’t have to care.
Then there are the other things I have to worry about.
1. I had been talking with my friend about renting a place together and moving away from home. Now she changed her mind.
2. K is going to get a dog and she’s never had one. She just has to get a german shepherd- kelpie-mastiff - I don’t think it’ll be safe to visit her when the dog grows up. If she is too lazy to get up in the morning to go to work she sure as hell won’t have any motivation to take the dog for a walk or to train it in any way.
3. K is also pregnant. That dog is going to eat the baby. And she’s not capable of taking care of herself so I fear if she’ll be able to take care of anyone else. I worry.
The rest of my thoughts are just a huge mess so… I’ll just leave it with that.
I feel stupid about complaining about the amount of school work ‘cause it’s just “welcome to University [bitch]”. Everyone else has a lot to do too. But I complain ‘cause I can and ‘cause I believe that it’ll relief my stress at least a bit. My thoughts keep going in circles in my head.