I always say I'm not an alcoholic, but the truth is that I do feel the urge to drink, not every day, but every few days. Alcoholics always deny that they're alcoholics, don't they? Also, once I have a drink, I never want to stop until I'm practically comatose. At the same time, I've never wanted to face the prospect of never drinking again. I find certain things, such as going to see bands, socialising and just being amongst people, very difficult, and they'd be impossible for me if I couldn't drink enough to dull my terrible anxiety and self-consciousness.
One thing I know is that drinking doesn't actually solve anything. It makes me feel pleasantly chilled for a short while, but all I'm really doing is pissing a load of cash straight down the pan, and I really can't afford to keep doing that. It feels good, but never satisfies. The loneliness and emptiness that I'm trying to relieve doesn't go away. In order to resist the temptation, I have to keep reminding myself of that.
Yes! I couldn't agree more. I like drinking in social functions because on the flip side it allows me to open up more and be who I'd like to be sober. I guess it's not a bad thing all in all being kind of shy. But same after awhile or a few times going out I'm like how did I spend that much money, and then I am ashamed feeling guilty by it. Definitely a good way to look at it.. it's only temporary fulfillment.
When I drink when I'm socialising or seeing a band, at least I can justify that by the need to be relaxed amongst people and be able to talk more easily, but I often buy a few bottles of booze on impulse when I'm at the supermarket or on my way home from work. It's only after I've drunk them that I wonder why the hell I did it and wish I hadn't pished a wad of cash straight down the lavy pan. It's not as if I can afford to waste money.
And I don't know if this is an issue for you, but I have constant trouble with sleeping. Sometimes the only way I'll get to sleep quickly and sleep right through the night is if I gulp down a few bottles of booze before I go to bed. So-called experts always insist it doesn't work, but, fuck me, nothing else works. If they've got a better suggestion, I'd like to hear it!
I do the same thing, like when I'm out I don't think to much about it until I see my tab, then I'm like UGH... Same thing I'll go to the store and get some wine, or something different while I'm putting in the fridge I'm like why did I get this.. Thinking to myself I was supposed to be cutting back lol.
Yeah sleep used to be a really big issue for me. Same here I always sleep better after drinking: calms my nerves. I have been taking ambien the last 3 years or so...If I drink though I don't take my ambien. My friend she takes this vitamin called Melatonin + 200mg L-theanine (by NatureMade). It helps her out a lot. I've thought about trying it out just to try something more natural.
I need to start counting my calorie-intake again, and I think it might be a good idea to take control of my drinking at the same time. My theory is that if I have the gumption not to give in to the temptation to stuff my face with salt and lard whenever it arises, I should be able to resist the temptation of beer, cider, whisky, vodka and rum too. For some reason, it's never occurred to me to link the two things before.
One thing I know is that drinking doesn't actually solve anything. It makes me feel pleasantly chilled for a short while, but all I'm really doing is pissing a load of cash straight down the pan, and I really can't afford to keep doing that. It feels good, but never satisfies. The loneliness and emptiness that I'm trying to relieve doesn't go away. In order to resist the temptation, I have to keep reminding myself of that.
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When I drink when I'm socialising or seeing a band, at least I can justify that by the need to be relaxed amongst people and be able to talk more easily, but I often buy a few bottles of booze on impulse when I'm at the supermarket or on my way home from work. It's only after I've drunk them that I wonder why the hell I did it and wish I hadn't pished a wad of cash straight down the lavy pan. It's not as if I can afford to waste money.
And I don't know if this is an issue for you, but I have constant trouble with sleeping. Sometimes the only way I'll get to sleep quickly and sleep right through the night is if I gulp down a few bottles of booze before I go to bed. So-called experts always insist it doesn't work, but, fuck me, nothing else works. If they've got a better suggestion, I'd like to hear it!
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I do the same thing, like when I'm out I don't think to much about it until I see my tab, then I'm like UGH... Same thing I'll go to the store and get some wine, or something different while I'm putting in the fridge I'm like why did I get this.. Thinking to myself I was supposed to be cutting back lol.
Yeah sleep used to be a really big issue for me. Same here I always sleep better after drinking: calms my nerves. I have been taking ambien the last 3 years or so...If I drink though I don't take my ambien. My friend she takes this vitamin called Melatonin + 200mg L-theanine (by NatureMade). It helps her out a lot. I've thought about trying it out just to try something more natural.
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