i give up.
omg.
i give up.
is there even a point? i mean really. maybe i should just stop. and it'll all smack me in the face and i'll be like omg it all makes sense now. cause right now, i cant stand it.
i just want to drift away. fade away even, can you deal with that?
i really wish it would rain; those really peaceful continous drops of rain. the ones that splatter on the windsheild and all the colors are so blurry and beautiful. its just seems to connect with me, as if for that exact moment, everything is quiet and slow. and the intensity of the droplet of water seems to slow down the chaos and clear away the smoke. it makes me feel so much more freer and happier.
and i'm sick of blue skies. i love the skies and the clouds elegantly floating by. but i want the rain. i think i just want to slow down. i want to wash away all the pain, angst and apathy i feel.
&it bothers me soo much, because i dont know where it's coming from. like no particular event sparked the flames or person, or word. it's whoosh and seriously i could kill something. basically, i'm so emo i could kill you. i'm more blah. damn if my emotions were a weapon; everyone around me would be dead.
why do i hate everything. ew. omg i'd totally like fucking ahh.
i want to be constantly alone but near people at the same time. i think i want to discrimnate agaisnt certain people at certain moments (not to be mean to anyone; but i am not referring to anyone particularly. just in general. ahh idk).
someone just tell me its gonna be okay. and i'm okay. (maybe i'm better than okay?).
i give up.
is there even a point? i mean really. maybe i should just stop. and it'll all smack me in the face and i'll be like omg it all makes sense now. cause right now, i cant stand it.
i just want to drift away. fade away even, can you deal with that?
i really wish it would rain; those really peaceful continous drops of rain. the ones that splatter on the windsheild and all the colors are so blurry and beautiful. its just seems to connect with me, as if for that exact moment, everything is quiet and slow. and the intensity of the droplet of water seems to slow down the chaos and clear away the smoke. it makes me feel so much more freer and happier.
and i'm sick of blue skies. i love the skies and the clouds elegantly floating by. but i want the rain. i think i just want to slow down. i want to wash away all the pain, angst and apathy i feel.
&it bothers me soo much, because i dont know where it's coming from. like no particular event sparked the flames or person, or word. it's whoosh and seriously i could kill something. basically, i'm so emo i could kill you. i'm more blah. damn if my emotions were a weapon; everyone around me would be dead.
why do i hate everything. ew. omg i'd totally like fucking ahh.
i want to be constantly alone but near people at the same time. i think i want to discrimnate agaisnt certain people at certain moments (not to be mean to anyone; but i am not referring to anyone particularly. just in general. ahh idk).
someone just tell me its gonna be okay. and i'm okay. (maybe i'm better than okay?).