GUILT / SmokerAce / RsilverwolfccJuly 12 2011, 02:02:20 UTC
He didn't know what it was that let the brat on his ship the first time. Ostensibly it was the threat of a pirate burning his ship down and even Smoker wasn't cocky enough to think he could put the flames out all at once. Still... after shoving Ace away from the first kiss, what was it that made him kiss the freckled idiot back? Passion? Flames? Matching devil fruit? He knew what it was that made him kick Ace out the next morning before dawn. That was guilt. Sleeping with a pirate... he must have been out of his mind. As for what made Smoker sleep with Ace a second time and a third time after that? Addiction he supposed. A simple taste grew deeper and deeper.
He tried to break it off. It wasn't healthy for either of them. Smoker was violent and Ace was a pirate which made him an easy target for Smoker's rage. They were both violent, full of uncontrolled rage at the world. And if caught, Smoker would be hanged for treason and both of them knew he wouldn't run from that fate, walk straight to the gallows and tie his own noose - guilt for sleeping with the enemy. But when Smoker tried to call it off... he couldn't. He couldn't take the guilt and pain from causing the hurt look in brown eyes, the sad freckled face that haunted his memory for all time. And Ace knew it all too well.
At Marineford, Smoker never once looked at the brat. It was Ace's fault for losing to Blackbeard and it was Smoker's guilt that kept him doing his job, fighting against Portgas D. Ace's would-be rescuers. And after Ace was dead, after justice got perverted with blood-lust, but a few well-placed rare acts of heroism stopped the war; it was guilt that looked Smoker back in the mirror when he wasn't paying attention. One of the best things he had was gone because he'd refused to acknowledge its existence or its place in his heart.
He tried to break it off. It wasn't healthy for either of them. Smoker was violent and Ace was a pirate which made him an easy target for Smoker's rage. They were both violent, full of uncontrolled rage at the world. And if caught, Smoker would be hanged for treason and both of them knew he wouldn't run from that fate, walk straight to the gallows and tie his own noose - guilt for sleeping with the enemy. But when Smoker tried to call it off... he couldn't. He couldn't take the guilt and pain from causing the hurt look in brown eyes, the sad freckled face that haunted his memory for all time. And Ace knew it all too well.
At Marineford, Smoker never once looked at the brat. It was Ace's fault for losing to Blackbeard and it was Smoker's guilt that kept him doing his job, fighting against Portgas D. Ace's would-be rescuers. And after Ace was dead, after justice got perverted with blood-lust, but a few well-placed rare acts of heroism stopped the war; it was guilt that looked Smoker back in the mirror when he wasn't paying attention. One of the best things he had was gone because he'd refused to acknowledge its existence or its place in his heart.
And so the marine carried on, never looking back.
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