i will go down with this ship.....

[silverwillow]

yes, i am still alive. i know it seems that i just disappear off the face of the earth at times, but i'm still here. i apologize to anyone i might've offended; i've just been dealing with a lot of different issues as of late. i haven't been much of a computer person, either... but i thought i would write an entry tonight, and it might turn out to

Comments

[baffledbutterfl]

I am sorry to hear about all this! I suppose I was imagining your life lately has been a dreamy whirlwind what with all the wedding preparations, but I am sure that in reality it is very stressful to plan everything out. And now with your job gone there is more anxiety about the financial aspect of it. SUCKS! :(

If it's any consolation I am sure that you will find another, better, & closer one soon.

I don't mean to sound like I'm unsympathetic of your situation, but this could be a blessing in disguise, couldn't it? I mean if nothing else, utilize the time you have between jobs. You only get one life so best make a go of it! Are you writing still?! This could be the perfect opportunity to catch up on that and review your goals,dreams,etc. and prioritize them, figure out how to go about it, etc. Because believe me, I used to think that once I headed down that road it would be magical, and it *is* fulfilling to learn to do what you love BUT you WILL meet alot of snags and the better you get the better your peers so the more daunting it becomes, etc. So get a start as soon as possible. I want to see all those dreams I used to hear you talk about COME TRUE! :) AND I know you have the talent and the balls to DO it! :)

anyhoo. since you turned in bunches of applications i betcha you'll be getting calls back any day now! till then revel in sleeping late! ;)

[silverwillow]

i always thought that planning for my wedding would also be a "dreamy whirlwind", but you're right, it's NOT. it's very stressful trying to get all the plans made, worrying if everything is going to come together, and if something is going to pop up at the last minute. but i just keep telling myself WHY i'm doing it, and suddenly it's all worth it. :)

i've been feeling like a ticking time bomb since i lost my job... i'm so afraid of not having money for everything i need. but thank you so much for your kind words, marsha. it *really* did help me. and you're right, i need to find that imaginative & creative person inside of me again and start doing all the things i LOVE to do. i need to just STOP being such a grown-up for once! i wanna be the dorky, irresponsible kid i've always been... haha. that's why i can't wait to see you again, because you always seem to help me do that. ;)

you're such a sweetheart. :) *hug*

[baffledbutterfl]

i help you be dorky & irresponsible? hmmm.... i'm not sure if that's a compliment or not! LOL!!!

seriously, though, the things can be balanced. i mean, you don't have stop being a grown-up in order to be imaginative & creative. you can just make that part of your adulthood.

i don't know, i'm certainly not someone who has it together, which is why i'm probably giving you this "advice"- they say the advice you give is the advice you yourself most need and i'm sure that is true of this situation LOL!

but i do see alot of people lose their sense of wonder when they "grow up" and i don't think it's neccesary to. even with all the trials that are present. in fact it might make those more *bearable*.

i'm really sorry things are sucky right now. i think you should post some poems- you could vent your frustration through 'em! :)

[silverwillow]

i can't believe it, but i haven't written a poem for sooooooooo very long. :( i really need to get back in the groove of writing, so i don't lose it! if only one of us had another code to use for livejournal, we could start up a poetry-writing only community. :)