If you lead, I might follow, j2, AU, 18/19
Gorgeous header by the lovely smiledrawinglie
Title: If you lead, I might follow
Written by: ellydee27
Fandom/Pairing: CW RPS/J2. AU. Jared/Jensen, Mike/Jeffrey. Other characters: Tom, Chris and more
Rating: NC17
Word count: ~4480/54,850
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything and I don’t mean any harm. Just having fun.
Beta: The oh,so hard-working jolinarmalkshur -you’re a hero for taking this on! Any remaining errors are mine.
Warnings: Homophobic parents, mentions of past abusive relationship (briefly). This chapter: slight D/S themes, blink and you’ll miss it.
Summary: Jared Padalecki, 19, dance student, recently moved from Texas to New York with his upperclass family. Struggling with the expectations from his family as well as with certain dance moves, he takes a Hip Hop class where he meets Jensen, 23, a stripper with all the confidence in the world. A not-so-classic tale of two worlds colliding, where Jared’s the shy one, Jensen has the coolest friends in the world and neither of them know what they’re doing.
A/N: So - it seems I’ve fooled you guys, there will be another chapter/ epilogue after this one!! Hope that’s a good surprise for at least some of you. Thank you for all your comments so far!
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Previous chapters:
"Chapter one""Chapter two""Chapter three""Chapter four""Chapter five""Chapter six" "Chapter seven""Chapter eight" "Chapter nine" “Chapter ten" "Chapter eleven" "Chapter twelve" "Chapter thirteen"> "Chapter fourteen""Chapter fifteen""Chapter sixteen">"Chapter seventeen"
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Two months later
Jensen
"My House" is a loud mixture of sounds; the steady chatter of the patrons, the louder, short, bouts of laughter, and the clanking sounds of bottles against tables. A mixture of country and rock is heard over speakers, setting the tone for the laid-back atmosphere. It’s Friday, which means that it’s busier than the rest of the week, and almost all the tables are filled with guests when Jensen checks his watch to see it’s just passed ten.
Chris has become a permanent fixture on Friday nights, usually arriving around ten thirty to play for a couple of hours. The live music adds to the atmosphere, and Chris’s hoarse voice and country twang makes Jensen think of Texas, something the patrons seem to agree with and appreciate. Jensen looks up to the wall behind the bar, where the Texas flag is hung up, next to an old-fashion poster of a cowboy. Jeff had been open to his ideas when décor was discussed, and Jensen’s really happy with how it turned out. It has a relaxed ambiance, which translates to the mood of the customers, and there hasn’t been anything resembling trouble in the two months the bar has been open.
Mike’s in his element behind the counter, making jokes and mixing drinks like a pro. He’s worked every weekend so far, preferring to keep his weeks free to study. Being there every weekend means he knows all the regulars by now, and his talent for remembering names, occupations, drink preferences and other details makes him a favorite among the guests.
Jensen works the bar too, but he also takes care of paper work and other necessary tasks, as well as walking around the room and chatting with some of the regulars.
Surprisingly, or maybe not, he finds himself missing stripping sometimes. He jokes about it, brushes it off, but the attention, the rush of performing, and the dancing in itself - it’s been a part of his life for so long. The best part of his life, even; his outlet, his happy-place, so to speak. It’s the one thing he’s been good at, and a major part of his confidence has come from knowing he did it well. Without it, he has to find other ways of feeling good about himself, and mostly, he feels like he’s succeeding at that. Being in a relationship, having found someone to love who loves him back, gives him a lot of the strength he needs. Running the bar, making it into a place where the guests feel comfortable and relaxed, is another accomplishment.
Jensen looks up from the register, seeing Chris entering the bar, a tall familiar figure following straight behind him. His grin widens when Jared looks straight at him and raises a hand in salute, a smile playing on his sensuous lips.
”Hey, boyfriend.” He salutes him when Jared reaches the counter.
”Hey, how’s it going?” Jared responds neutrally. Jensen feels the familiar flutter in his gut as hazel eyes seemingly draw him in. The need to touch, to get closer fills him instantly, and the counter between them and the room full of people are suddenly obstacles that needs to be hurdled.
”Yeah, uhuh, come on.” Jensen says, making his boyfriend laugh at his breathless voice and incoherent reply. Jensen heads for the back room after sharing a look with an amused Mike, who winks at Jared following behind.
Once inside Jensen’s office, Jared’s pushed up against the wall, his lips being attacked by Jensen’s soft ones. Tongues play together as Jensen reaches up and grabs hold of Jared’s hair, fisting the locks tightly. They stay pressed together, bodies aligned as their kiss grows desperate. Finally, Jared pushes Jensen away, gently, keeping a firm grip on his shoulders.
”You miss me or something?” Jared teases softly, raising an eyebrow at Jensen’s behavior.
Jensen grins back, too dazed to care about being teased. He opts for nodding, knowing he looks goofily happy.
”Does that mean you didn’t miss me?” Jensen asks, as he tries to pout, holding the grimace a brief second before his grin returns.
”Course I did, I mean, it’s been, what, five hours? I don’t know how I survived.” Jared continues, grinning mischievously.
”Shut up, you chose to come here to see me, not the other way around.”
”Yeah, you’re right. Guess I’m addicted.” Jared smiles, and bends down to continue their kissing, letting out a moan as Jensen opens his mouth to welcome the intrusion of his tongue. They stay connected, enjoying the taste of each other, for long minutes before Jared pulls back again, pushing firmly at Jensen’s chest.
”Hey, stop.”
Jensen frowns at the command. ”What?”
Jared shakes his head, smiling slightly. ”You’re the boss of this establishment, aren’t you? I just think we should stop before we can’t.”
”Aw, man, I hate it when you’re all reasonable and shit.” Jensen groans, but still obeys and pulls back, reluctantly.
”Yeah, well, one of us has to be.” Jared teases, his eyes still drawn to Jensen’s pink lips, obviously not wanting to let go any more than his boyfriend does.
”Alright, guess I’ll go do my job, then.” Jensen sighs, exasperatedly. ”Are you sticking around, at least?”
”Sure, I’m gonna hear Chris play.” Jared steps closer, pressing his lips firmly against Jensen, teasing with a quick stroke of his tongue against his bottom lip.
”Cool.”
”Yeah, it means you can’t flirt with the customers tonight, though, so don’t get too excited.”
”What? I would never!” Jensen protests, voice slightly louder than strictly necessary in the small space.
”Uhuh.” Jared states, unconvinced. ”I know you, Jensen, flirting’s in your nature. I know for a fact you do it.” Jared smiles overbearingly to take the edge off his accusations.
”I’ll try to stop?” Jensen replies, uncertainty making it a question.
”Nah, it’s okay, really. As long as you make sure to let them know you’re not available, I don’t want you to change. I kinda like who you are, you know.” Jared smiles at his boyfriend’s shocked expression.
”Really? That so?” Jensen replies, putting his cocky smile back in place.
”Yup.” Another smile, another quick kiss.
”Have I told you I love you today?” Jensen says, voice going softer with emotion.
”Nope, but I know.” Jared replies confidently, earning a raised eyebrow from his boyfriend. ”Now, get your ass out of here and do your job.” He jokes, slapping Jensen’s ass before heading for the door.
”I think your boyfriend is a bad influence on you.” Jensen deadpans, making Jared toss his head back and laugh as they exit the room together.
~~*~~
Jensen
When Chris takes the stage, the guests quiet down, lowering their voices or turning their attention to the stage completely.
Jared’s found himself a chair at a small table in the middle of the bar. The chairs from his table have been pushed against the surrounding tables to make room for more people, but it’s still not more than two feet from Jared’s chair to the one next to him.
The tall boy is slouched back in his chair, long legs stretched in front of him. He’s taken his coat off, and his shirtsleeves are rolled up, revealing muscular forearms. Jensen hasn’t told Jared, but he has a thing for his forearms. It’s the way the muscles create angles when he moves his arms, the way the shape hints of a lean, strong body that’s hidden underneath layers of clothes. A body that’s all for him, for his eyes only.
Jensen shakes his head, trying to force himself out of his day dreaming before his jeans become too tight. Hiding behind the bar counter only works for so long, especially when Mike’s right there next to him, and would take great pleasure in teasing him about his predicament.
Jensen concentrates on his work for a while, allowing Mike to take a cigarette break as the guests focus on the performance on stage. After a couple of songs, Jensen turns his attention to Jared again, and frowns when he sees a guy from the next table leaning over and talking to him, his body language revealing obvious interest. Jensen keeps studying the interaction intently, serving the customers automatically as his attention is focused on his boyfriend. ”My House” is not a gay bar, not like ”Sin City”, but the way the man is turning his attention to Jared, the way his eyes travel down and back up his long frame, slowly, the way he smiles…it’s obvious to Jensen that he’s flirting. Jared seems to be talking back politely, his trademark shy smile playing on his lips.
Jensen’s frown deepens when he realizes that Jared doesn’t seem to object to the attention. Jensen feels a surge of annoyance that Jared doesn’t reject the man, that he doesn’t leave or make him go away. He catches himself quickly, and scolds himself for his double standards. Just minutes after Jared’s told him it’s okay for him to be a flirt, he’s getting wound up that Jared isn’t rejecting someone he probably doesn’t even realize is flirting.
He can’t shake the uncomfortable stirring in his gut though, and surprises himself yet again when he realizes that what he’s feeling is jealousy. As so many other things concerning Jared, it’s a first for him. He’s never had anyone to be jealous over, never had anyone in his life that he needed, that he was scared of losing.
Watching Jared blush slightly and tip his head forward, Jensen decides that enough’s enough. He trusts Jared, but he doesn’t really know if he’s able to let anyone down, or to tell someone if they’re pushing too hard. When Jared starts looking more uncomfortable than anything else, Jensen reasons it’s not out of bounds of him to make an appearance.
As soon as Mike returns, Jensen heads out from the bar and over to where Jared’s sitting. Jared looks up at him, surprise quickly changing into a big, smiling expression.
”Hey, what’s up?” Jared asks, innocently, trying to mask his confusion.
”I could ask the same thing.” Jensen replies, trying to keep his voice casual, but glaring at the other man, even more confused than Jared, with a look that is anything but.
”Is there a problem?” The other man asks, clearly annoyed by the interruption. Jensen studies him, decides that he just seems confused, not aggressive.
”No, I just needed to tell my boyfriend something.” Jensen replies easily, not wanting to make a bigger scene than necessary. He leans down like he’s going to whisper in Jared’s ear, but instead he licks along the edge before nibbling softly at the earlobe. Jared turns his head, confusion obvious in his frown, and Jensen figures he owes him an explanation.
”Just wanted to make sure you’re alright.” He whispers, hoping Jared won’t call him on his omission.
Jared’s expression lets Jensen know he’s busted, an amused smile tugging at the corner of his mouth before he talks.
”Thank you, boss, but I don’t really need to be saved, you know?” His hand moves up to stroke Jensen’s cheek, a caress that’s punctuated by a brush of his thumb over the stubble on his chin.
Jensen closes his eyes and relishes the touch, his heart warmed by the tenderness even as he knows he’s being teased.
”Alright, talk to you later, then?”
”Yeah, I’ll come over and say goodbye before we leave.” Jared responds, smile still lingering as Jensen turns and heads for the bar.
~~*~~
Jared
”I can’t believe you were jealous.” Jared greets Jensen when he comes home, sneaking into the dark bedroom. Jared’s never been a light sleeper, but over the last weeks he’s learned that the sound of Jensen returning from the bar wakes him up every time.
”You awake?” Jensen responds, trying to avoid the topic.
”You know I am, Jen. Stop dodging the subject.” Jared pushes, keeping his voice light, making Jensen know that he isn’t mad.
Jensen sighs deeply, shaking his head, a useless gesture in the dark. ”Yeah, alright, fine, I don’t like guys flirting with you, okay?”
Jensen’s voice comes out huffy, his words defensive.
Jared chuckles softly, unable to hide his amusement by the admission. Jensen being jealous is so ironic, he can’t help but laugh a little.
”You think that’s funny?” Jensen snorts as he sneaks under the covers.
”Come here.” Jared commands softly, a large hand on his hip nudging him closer.
Jensen obeys, surprising Jared with his mellowness.
”You know there’s only you, right?” Jared whispers against his temple, letting a soft kiss chase his words.
Jensen leans into the caress, probably debating whether or not he should play hard to get or simply surrender completely to the moment. Jared can feel him relaxing as he opts for the last alternative, shuffling even closer into Jared’s massive frame.
”I mean, I have watched you flirt millions of times, you still only love me, right?” Jared pushes gently.
”Of course I do.” Jensen sighs. ”I just don’t think you know how gorgeous you are, you don’t know what other guys see when they look at you.”
Jared snorts as the statement, unsure of how to respond to the flattering words. ”That’s just stupid. I’m not…I mean, you’re the gorgeous one, not me.”
”See, that’s exactly what I mean. You don’t know how beautiful you are, and how enticing you can be, with your dimples, and your shy smile, and your body, that’s just…guh.”
”Guh?” Jared teases, a playful look in his eyes hidden by the dark.
”Yeah, ‘guh’. As in ’too good for words’.” Jensen mumbles into smooth skin, lazily lapping at it, tasting the sweet saltiness with his tongue.
Jared squirms a little, tickled by the caress. ”Good thing you like it, cause it’s all yours.” His words are breathy, and Jensen can feel his cock stir in his boxers, encouraged by Jared’s obvious desire.
Jensen
Jensen grins to himself, kissing a trail down over muscular pecs, teasing firm nipples before licking his way down to the waistband of Jared’s boxers. He’s not in the mood to tease, and seconds after he’s got the fabric out of the way, and he swallows down on Jared’s hard length.
The taste of Jared’s arousal always increases his own, and Jensen can’t resist reaching down to touch himself, quickly setting up a rapid pace. He’s been thinking about this since the bar; longing to claim Jared as his own, tasting what belongs to him. Jared’s running commentary urges him on, words of love, devotion and belonging intensifying his pleasure.
Jensen can tell when Jared’s getting close, as his words grow incoherent, turning into nothing more than hoarse sounds of lust. His strong body freezes up the second before, thrusting up one last time, and shooting his release down Jensen’s throat. Jensen pulls back to swallow it all, grinning to himself as Jared’s spent body goes lax beneath him, the sounds of his heavy breathing the only thing heard in the dimly lit room.
Jensen crawls up the bed, leaning down to kiss Jared, letting him taste himself in the kiss. Jared groans then, and suddenly strong hands on his biceps flip him over, landing Jensen on his back. Jensen is momentarily confused by the quick change, but then his mind goes blank as Jared moves and quickly wraps his lips around his cock. Jared’s warm, soft mouth feels ridiculously good surrounding him, and it doesn’t take long before he can feel his release building, and he comes too, mere minutes later, reduced to a stuttering mess as he climaxes. Jared tries to swallow but Jensen can feel some of it dripping down on his own stomach, his heightened senses making him shiver as Jared leans down to lick it up, cleaning him with his tongue.
Jared gives him a chaste kiss on the lips when he’s finished, before he flops down beside him, a giant arm draped across his chest.
”Have I told you that you’re way too good at that for a beginner?” Jensen growls, twitching as Jared wraps his leg around his hip, his firm thigh rubbing against his soft cock.
”You might have mentioned it a time or two.” Jared chuckles, placing small kisses on Jensen’s sweat-slick chest.
”Fuck, what are you doing?” Jensen whispers when Jared starts focusing his attention on his nipples, still sensitive after his orgasm.
”What, you can’t go two rounds, boss?” Jared smiles into his skin, alternating between kissing and licking the erect buds.
”Hell yeah, I can.” Jensen says, tone affronted, his dick already twitching with interest at the enthusiastic tongue on his skin.
”Good. ’Cause I’m ready.” Jared states, pushing himself up on one arm to look at Jensen.
”Of course you’re ready, you’re nineteen.” Jensen states, shaking his head and trying to buck up for more contact.
”No, I mean I’m ready, you know, for the whole nine yards. Or, more like nine inches, or a little less, I guess.” Jared smiles down at Jensen’s surprised face, looking extremely pleased with himself.
Jensen’s eyes widen with realization, his mouth opening and closing a few times without any words escaping his lips.
”You sure?” The question comes out an octave lower than Jensen’s normal voice.
”Oh yes,” Jared nods, ”I’m so ready, if you don’t fuck me now, I think I’ll explode.” Jared lowers his voice too, chuckling softly at the low groan he elicits from Jensen as he grinds his hip against him.
”Oh fuck.” Jensen lets out, voice nothing more than a heavy breath.
”Yes. Please.” Jared whispers, leaning down to lick the shell of Jensen’s ear, before slipping the earlobe between his lips and sucking on it.
Jensen lets out an animalistic groan, and then he surprises Jared by flipping them over, causing the air to escape from Jared’s lungs in a loud huff.
Jared looks up into green eyes, darkened with raw desire and determination. The significance of what’s about to happen makes Jared shiver, before his need takes over and he lifts his hips, trying to get closer to Jensen, desperate for more friction on his already half-hard dick.
Their bodies seem to melt together as they move in sync, desperate kisses and greedy hands making them both overwhelmed with lust. Jared wraps his legs around Jensen’s narrow hips, holding him close as the grinding continues, until they’re both rock hard and aching for more.
”Jensen, please…” Jared gasps, pleading with his words an his eyes. ”I want you in me, come on.”
Jensen groans at the words, grinding down one last time before he crawls back on his haunches, reaching for the bedside drawer. Jared’s world is reduced to the two of them, and their desire, a seemingly physical force that’s filling the room, making the air hot and humid around them.
His world shifts when he feels a slicked - up finger tracing down his abs, intently avoiding his leaking cock and moving downwards until it pushes at his entrance. They share a look, Jensen searching for confirmation, which Jared provides one final time, and then Jensen’s finger slides in, straight to the second knuckle.
”Jesus.” Jensen whispers, and Jared opens eyes he didn’t know he had shut. ”Jared…did you…prepare yourself?”
Jared looks up at Jensen’s questioning expression and nods, suddenly feeling bashful.
”Oh, fuck, Jay…that’s so hot. Can’t believe it, can’t believe you…” Jensen leans forward, placing a rough kiss on Jared’s grateful lips. One of them, or possibly both, groans as the kiss deepens, while Jensen adds another finger, scissoring him open.
”Fuck, Jared, you feel so good…” Jensen lets out, receiving no coherent reply from Jared, who’s completely overpowered by sensation, practically shaking with the effort to restrain himself.
Jensen’s up to three fingers soon, and he starts pushing in and out, slowly, making Jared shout as his index finger rubs across the prostate.
”Fuck, Jensen!” Jared’s eyes are wide with surprise, his body contracting at the overwhelming pleasure.
”Yeah, okay, I think you’re ready.” Jensen concurs, pulling out his fingers carefully, needing his hands to put on a condom.
Seconds later Jared feels Jensen’s two thumbs stretching his entrance, and then he pushes his hips forward, breaching the stretched hole carefully. Jensen moves slowly, listens for Jared’s breathing to calm down before pushing all the way in.
Their eyes lock together, Jensen’s green eyes sparkling in a way Jared’s never seen before. He can’t help himself, with all the sensations numbing his brain he says the first thing that comes to mind instead of the assurance Jensen’s waiting for.
”God, you’re so beautiful.”
Jensen just smiles, softly, before finding the brain function to respond. ”You’re the beautiful one, Jared. And God, you feel so good, so tight….can I?”
”Fuck, yeah, move, Jensen, please…” Jared pants, and then Jensen starts moving. He thrusts into the hot cavern, gently at first, but then he speeds up, encouraged by Jared’s panted words.
”Oh, fuck, Jensen, feels so good, always want this, you, oh, God…” It sounds like poetry to Jensen, the sweetest, most beautiful words he’s ever heard.
It doesn’t last long after that, seconds later Jared’s coming, untouched, his release painting an abstract pattern on his stomach, Jensen’s name crossing his lips. The tremors that run through Jared’s body are all Jensen needs to be pushed over the edge, and he climaxes too, whispering a declaration of love into Jared’s throat as he flops forward.
They lay together for a few minutes, catching their breath, before Jensen moves to pull out, carefully, discarding the condom somewhere on the floor. He looks around for a t-shirt, something to clean them up with, but he can’t find one. Instead he leans down to lick Jared clean, causing Jared to shiver when his tongue runs through the cooling come.
”Jesus…That’s just…” Jared starts, his voice hoarse from the sounds he’d been making.
”I know.” Jensen agrees, finding his place on Jared’s side, tucking his nose in under his jaw.
”Is it always like…that?” Jared asks, voice filled with wonder and curiosity.
Jensen traces an invisible pattern on Jared’s chest, letting his finger caress the sweat-slicked skin before replying. He’s distracted by the flawless skin, the tanned tone of it making it look absolutely glowing in the dim lighting. Jared has his arm around him, and Jensen is shaken from his reverie when he receives a nudge, Jared urging him to reply.
”Um…depends on how you mean, it hurts less when you get used to it.”
”It didn’t…well, yeah, sorta, but it was….amazing.”
”Really?” Jensen asks, surprised and relieved, feeling his nerves and apprehension dissipate as he gets up on one elbow and takes in Jared’s happy expression.
”Hell yeah. You didn’t…think so?”
”Fuck yes,” Jensen states, emphatically, wanting to get rid of Jared’s frown ”I’m just surprised you thought so, I mean, with the pain…but I’m glad. Real glad, ’cause I thought it was fucking perfect.” He emphasizes his statement with a grin that would outshine the Cheshire cat.
”Heh. Guess we’re doing it again then, huh?” Jared smiles, his teasing, half-shy smile, and Jensen can’t help himself, he needs to taste those playful lips.
He leans down for a tender kiss, wanting to portray all his emotions in the soft caress. The way Jared had given himself to him, in this way, in every way, it triggers emotions in Jensen that he never thought he’d feel. Being so entirely overwhelmed is foreign territory, and so is the feeling of being so dependant, so connected and completely addicted to another person.
His gut feels heavy with the sudden realization that he’s never going to be able to let Jared go. The thought of a life without him hits him, and the immediate pain in his heart tells him there’s a darker side of love; the desperate need to be together, the inexplicable worry of being left alone.
Jared frowns when he pulls back, confusion evident in his still darkened eyes.
”What’s wrong, Jense?” He asks softly.
”Um…nothing?” Jensen makes a futile effort of covering his brooding with a small smile.
”Don’t shut me out, Jensen,” Jared pushes, ”not now. Come on. Tell me.”
Jensen flops down on his pillow, looking at the ceiling as he tries to gather his thoughts and turn them into something he can admit to out loud.
”I don’t know…do you ever get, like, scared?”
”About what?” Jared still frowns when he gets up on his elbow to look Jensen in the eyes.
”Um…don’t take this the wrong way, but about us?”
”What about us?” Jared asks, looking like he’s concentrating hard on not getting upset.
”Fuck, I don’t know, I just…I worry about losing you. Or something. It’s just a new feeling, to feel like you need someone, you know?”
It seems to be the right thing to say, because Jared’s frown softens, understanding coloring his expression. ”Yeah, I do know, Jense. I feel that way too sometimes, like this dread or whatever in my gut?”
Jared’s mild expression turns into a smile when Jensen’s own does.
”Well, as long as we’re both screwed…I guess I can deal with it.” Jensen starts, letting out a shaky breath of relief.
”Oh yes, we’re in this together, man, you and me.” Jared smiles again, leaning down for a quick kiss before flopping back on his pillow too.
”Cool.” Jensen sighs, feeling sleep tugging at him, exhaustion setting in from the long day behind him.
”Yeah. And I’m not leaving, you know. So you can ease up on your worrying.” Jared states, voice relaxed as he’s drifting into sleep himself. ”Night, boss.”
”G’night, boyfriend.” Jensen whispers happily before he falls asleep, on his side, his hand draped across Jared’s chest.
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"Next- and last- Chapter"