In the new year. 2012.
Even though I've been away so very much this year... I couldn't skip this. It seems too important somehow, even though I usually fail at it. This year may be different though. I think it will.
Being back on my journal makes me very sad. It makes me miss chuckie terribly, which is silly. It's silly for a few reasons. We never met. And... because he's still here. He's around. Every now and again, he even pops in to check on me. I know that sounds silly... but I think of him a lot, so that may be why. He just pops in to say, "Hey Steve, chin up bud. I'm sending you the good juju." The way writing that sent chills down my spine makes me feel it was less me writing it, and more me receiving a message from him on the Spirit side. Crying a little bit. I miss him far more than I probably have right to. Oh well. Moving on now.
1. Create a schedule for personal wellness and implement it. This will include not only physical wellness, but mental and spiritual wellness as well.
I failed in some regards, but I definitely found a method of increasing my Spiritual wellness and will work on this more in the new year.
2. Obtain a job better suited for my level of qualifications and dedicate a percentage of my monthly allowance proportionate to my income to my savings account.
3. Research possible career paths and determine whether it would be prudent to further my education in the direction of one of those paths.
4. Research places I would like to live, knowing that moving out of the state this year will likely not be possible. Decide upon a savings plan and look into career options in order to make a move within the next year or so possible.
This has yet to be done... though I have thought about it in passing from time to time.
5. Maintain a positive mindset utilizing the skills I've learned through that book about the 7 Keys to Happiness (which I will finish reading), as well as by remaining active and by doing rather than allowing negativity to enter my life through over-analyzation, endless contemplation, and stagnation.
This took some time to do, but through my new found faith I've been progressing down this path quite nicely. I have very high hopes for the new year.
6. Get back in touch with my creativity. I intend to draw more, actually learn to play things on the piano in my room, and open myself to the energy of the universe.
Epic fail, lol. Sort of. I did get really good at knitting :-). Will do more of this in the coming year.
7. I will read my book on Dream Walking, and actually begin my studies. I will also takes steps in the direction of learning to trust my 'intuition'.
Not yet. Well... I've begun my studies, just not in the realm of Dream Walking. This will take place in this year.
8. I will make a conscious effort to enjoy life again. I've realized that there are times when I'm faced with the decision of enjoying myself, or feeling bad about myself. Too often I choose the latter.
This is getting easier for me.
9. I will write again. Here in this journal as well as creatively on my new laptop, Hewie. There is much inside my head that begs to be told. It's time I start telling it.
This year... lol
10. I will love again. Whether it be directed toward myself, another, or the simple mundane things that get us through life, it does not matter. What matters is that I begin seeing things the way that I had in 2007 once more, and the key to that vision is love.
I'm starting to love more. Not another, unfortunately... but love is coming in abundance for me now.
For the most part, I improved. This year I will use the tools I have learned to really make things better.
Now: Goals for 2012:
1. I will continue on my spiritual path by opening myself to Spirit and pursuing education and training in the use of my gifts. I've been told I'm quite gifted a number of times by several psychics and mediums. Now I will learn to step aside and allow Spirit to work through me.
2. I will make a schedule that will allow me to reconnect with past friends. There are so many that I've fallen out of touch with and it needn't have been so.
3. I will study Dream Walking. By the end of the year, I will have a grasp on Lucidity and be able to reach and maintain it.
4. I will attend meetings with my church and inquire more about the Ministerial program with my church to see if it really is for me. For now, I feel it is.
5. I will write this year. I will join a forum for writers and post my work and actually produce work.
6. I will create and maintain my Dream Board. As a Master Soul 22, I have the incredible ability to manifest when I focus on something. There is no better way to present it to myself on a daily basis.
7. Alys and I will open our online store and take it to a successful level together.
8. I am going to take better care of myself and my body. I must stay healthy in order to be healthy. I want so badly to be healthy *nods*. I will lose weight and maintain it. I will also work on shaping my body into something I find more pleasing.
9. I will find happiness. I must remember that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. "Nature never rushes and yet everything always gets done."
10. I will exude love. I will be a being of love and live by the "ideals" that I hold dear.
11. I will find a treatment center for my OCD so I can finally take control of it rather than have it control me.
And now the song I feel best describes 2011. I may have used it already for a year... I'm not sure... but here it is:
Chances
~Five for Fighting
"Chances are when said and done
Who'll be the lucky ones who make it all the way?
Though you say I could be your answer
Nothing lasts forever no matter how it feels today
Chances are we'll find a new equation
Chances roll away from me
Chances are all they hope to be
Don't get me wrong I'd never say never
'Cause though love can change the weather
No act of God can pull me away from you
I'm just a realistic man, a bottle filled with shells and sand
Afraid to love beyond what I can lose when it comes to you
And though I see us through, yeah
Chances are we'll find two destinations
Chances roll away from me
Still chances are more than expectations
The possibilities over me
It's a fight with two to one, lay your money on the sun
Until you crash what have you done? Is there a better bet than love?
What you are is what you breathe, you gotta cry before you sing
Chances, chances
Chances lost are hope's torn up pages
Maybe this time
Chances are we'll be the combination
Chances come and carry me
Chances are waiting to be taken, and I can see
Chances are the fascinations
Chances won't escape from me
Chances are only what we make them and all I need"
Being back on my journal makes me very sad. It makes me miss chuckie terribly, which is silly. It's silly for a few reasons. We never met. And... because he's still here. He's around. Every now and again, he even pops in to check on me. I know that sounds silly... but I think of him a lot, so that may be why. He just pops in to say, "Hey Steve, chin up bud. I'm sending you the good juju." The way writing that sent chills down my spine makes me feel it was less me writing it, and more me receiving a message from him on the Spirit side. Crying a little bit. I miss him far more than I probably have right to. Oh well. Moving on now.
1. Create a schedule for personal wellness and implement it. This will include not only physical wellness, but mental and spiritual wellness as well.
I failed in some regards, but I definitely found a method of increasing my Spiritual wellness and will work on this more in the new year.
2. Obtain a job better suited for my level of qualifications and dedicate a percentage of my monthly allowance proportionate to my income to my savings account.
3. Research possible career paths and determine whether it would be prudent to further my education in the direction of one of those paths.
4. Research places I would like to live, knowing that moving out of the state this year will likely not be possible. Decide upon a savings plan and look into career options in order to make a move within the next year or so possible.
This has yet to be done... though I have thought about it in passing from time to time.
5. Maintain a positive mindset utilizing the skills I've learned through that book about the 7 Keys to Happiness (which I will finish reading), as well as by remaining active and by doing rather than allowing negativity to enter my life through over-analyzation, endless contemplation, and stagnation.
This took some time to do, but through my new found faith I've been progressing down this path quite nicely. I have very high hopes for the new year.
6. Get back in touch with my creativity. I intend to draw more, actually learn to play things on the piano in my room, and open myself to the energy of the universe.
Epic fail, lol. Sort of. I did get really good at knitting :-). Will do more of this in the coming year.
7. I will read my book on Dream Walking, and actually begin my studies. I will also takes steps in the direction of learning to trust my 'intuition'.
Not yet. Well... I've begun my studies, just not in the realm of Dream Walking. This will take place in this year.
8. I will make a conscious effort to enjoy life again. I've realized that there are times when I'm faced with the decision of enjoying myself, or feeling bad about myself. Too often I choose the latter.
This is getting easier for me.
9. I will write again. Here in this journal as well as creatively on my new laptop, Hewie. There is much inside my head that begs to be told. It's time I start telling it.
This year... lol
10. I will love again. Whether it be directed toward myself, another, or the simple mundane things that get us through life, it does not matter. What matters is that I begin seeing things the way that I had in 2007 once more, and the key to that vision is love.
I'm starting to love more. Not another, unfortunately... but love is coming in abundance for me now.
For the most part, I improved. This year I will use the tools I have learned to really make things better.
Now: Goals for 2012:
1. I will continue on my spiritual path by opening myself to Spirit and pursuing education and training in the use of my gifts. I've been told I'm quite gifted a number of times by several psychics and mediums. Now I will learn to step aside and allow Spirit to work through me.
2. I will make a schedule that will allow me to reconnect with past friends. There are so many that I've fallen out of touch with and it needn't have been so.
3. I will study Dream Walking. By the end of the year, I will have a grasp on Lucidity and be able to reach and maintain it.
4. I will attend meetings with my church and inquire more about the Ministerial program with my church to see if it really is for me. For now, I feel it is.
5. I will write this year. I will join a forum for writers and post my work and actually produce work.
6. I will create and maintain my Dream Board. As a Master Soul 22, I have the incredible ability to manifest when I focus on something. There is no better way to present it to myself on a daily basis.
7. Alys and I will open our online store and take it to a successful level together.
8. I am going to take better care of myself and my body. I must stay healthy in order to be healthy. I want so badly to be healthy *nods*. I will lose weight and maintain it. I will also work on shaping my body into something I find more pleasing.
9. I will find happiness. I must remember that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. "Nature never rushes and yet everything always gets done."
10. I will exude love. I will be a being of love and live by the "ideals" that I hold dear.
11. I will find a treatment center for my OCD so I can finally take control of it rather than have it control me.
And now the song I feel best describes 2011. I may have used it already for a year... I'm not sure... but here it is:
Chances
~Five for Fighting
"Chances are when said and done
Who'll be the lucky ones who make it all the way?
Though you say I could be your answer
Nothing lasts forever no matter how it feels today
Chances are we'll find a new equation
Chances roll away from me
Chances are all they hope to be
Don't get me wrong I'd never say never
'Cause though love can change the weather
No act of God can pull me away from you
I'm just a realistic man, a bottle filled with shells and sand
Afraid to love beyond what I can lose when it comes to you
And though I see us through, yeah
Chances are we'll find two destinations
Chances roll away from me
Still chances are more than expectations
The possibilities over me
It's a fight with two to one, lay your money on the sun
Until you crash what have you done? Is there a better bet than love?
What you are is what you breathe, you gotta cry before you sing
Chances, chances
Chances lost are hope's torn up pages
Maybe this time
Chances are we'll be the combination
Chances come and carry me
Chances are waiting to be taken, and I can see
Chances are the fascinations
Chances won't escape from me
Chances are only what we make them and all I need"