All about writing
I can't wait to go on lunch today... I'm taking it a little later than I usually do... just because. Gary had something he had to do... so I told him to go do it and I'd just take lunch when he got back.
This morning... on my way to the car... my mind started weaving... it was something I have been thinking about... for a while now... I want to write that story... the one that's been buzzing inside my skull... the one that's driving me crazy... that's straining to be released... the only one that really matters at this moment... But... I've been afraid... that's the best way to put it... I've been afraid that this story doesn't want to be told... and if that's the case, then I can't tell it... it just doesn't work that way... But... it does. It wants to be told so badly... I know that now... because on the way to my car, my mind started weaving the story. Not just a bit of the story... which happens a lot... often... I have scenes floating in my head... no... this wasn't that... This morning... my mind wove the beginning. That was something I wasn't sure about... I know how the story ends... and I know what happens in the middle... but I couldn't figure out how one starts a story like this one... and this morning... during the short walk across my driveway to my car... my mind wove the beginning. All I need to do now is start. That's all that remains... I really... really want a laptop... I'm hoping my mother and I can figure something out... or... I get my settlement... because I'll buy myself a laptop with that... I just... this story... it needs to be told, and it's not just telling the story that needs to happen... the way in which the story is told is important too... at least this time... I need to be in my room... I need to be sitting on my bed with the heater going, sitting indian style... and I need to just be able to hammer the keys. That's how I write... that's how I type too... some people have said to me... "You know... it's not a typewrite... if you lightly touch the keyboard you'll get the letters to appear... you don't have to pound them..." Well... that's all well and good... but I don't pound them to make them show up, I pound them because... I do... it's... I think that maybe it's because I write from the heart. I know that doesn't make sense... but I pound the keys... because I do... I don't think the words... I feel them. Anyway... so I need to be able to sit there... hammering at the keys... and just write. Soon, no matter what... soon I will be able to tell this story. Maybe it's a good thing that I wait, it'll bubble up inside of me until I'm about to burst... and then it'll all just pour out onto the screen... I'll have never written like that before... it'll definitely be an experience. I'm excited about this. I really am.
This morning... on my way to the car... my mind started weaving... it was something I have been thinking about... for a while now... I want to write that story... the one that's been buzzing inside my skull... the one that's driving me crazy... that's straining to be released... the only one that really matters at this moment... But... I've been afraid... that's the best way to put it... I've been afraid that this story doesn't want to be told... and if that's the case, then I can't tell it... it just doesn't work that way... But... it does. It wants to be told so badly... I know that now... because on the way to my car, my mind started weaving the story. Not just a bit of the story... which happens a lot... often... I have scenes floating in my head... no... this wasn't that... This morning... my mind wove the beginning. That was something I wasn't sure about... I know how the story ends... and I know what happens in the middle... but I couldn't figure out how one starts a story like this one... and this morning... during the short walk across my driveway to my car... my mind wove the beginning. All I need to do now is start. That's all that remains... I really... really want a laptop... I'm hoping my mother and I can figure something out... or... I get my settlement... because I'll buy myself a laptop with that... I just... this story... it needs to be told, and it's not just telling the story that needs to happen... the way in which the story is told is important too... at least this time... I need to be in my room... I need to be sitting on my bed with the heater going, sitting indian style... and I need to just be able to hammer the keys. That's how I write... that's how I type too... some people have said to me... "You know... it's not a typewrite... if you lightly touch the keyboard you'll get the letters to appear... you don't have to pound them..." Well... that's all well and good... but I don't pound them to make them show up, I pound them because... I do... it's... I think that maybe it's because I write from the heart. I know that doesn't make sense... but I pound the keys... because I do... I don't think the words... I feel them. Anyway... so I need to be able to sit there... hammering at the keys... and just write. Soon, no matter what... soon I will be able to tell this story. Maybe it's a good thing that I wait, it'll bubble up inside of me until I'm about to burst... and then it'll all just pour out onto the screen... I'll have never written like that before... it'll definitely be an experience. I'm excited about this. I really am.