map of the world
tonight I went to my grandmas house because it was her birthday I just went to visit and what not because everyone was over there and as soon as we got there they started watching these videos and the first one was an entire tape of like the first 3 months of my life.... it was so fucking sad I was like bawling my eyes out and trying to hide it from my drunk loud ass family. my grandpa was holding me and it was before I had a dad and it was just so sad because the tape was of so many of my family members holding me that I remember when I was so little and some of them are dead now... and when I was 3 days old my sister saw me for the first time and she held me and she wasn't even 4 years old... it was just crazy to see the first time me and Shelby ever saw eachother on tape... I mean I've always known that those tapes existed but seeing them just fucking broke my heart...it makes me feel like shit to see what I've done to myself and what I've done to my body when so many people loved me before I was even born... and now that my sister has a baby... I donno it's weird... family is a weird thing... and even though I hate my family sometimes I hope I never just lose touch with everyone like I've seen happen to so many people.. like me and my grandpa never talk anymore and he was like going to be my dad... weird shit. just felt like a rant.
jordo
ps. I ate 4 pieces of pizza tonight and now I feel like vomiting and I don't think I can eat another bite for atleast 2 days