stupid fucking livej9ournal.
how to start this.
I'm not even angry anymore... I want to just go on and bitch about how awful of a boyfriend Brian is... but if Brians such a horrible boyfriend then that makes me an even worse girlfriend for going out with him.
I dont even know if words can explain how I feel right now.
its frustrating... but I can't let myself get mad. I can't just go on being mad at everything and crying over all of my problems.
I just want to cuddle in a bunch of pillows with someone... anyone... I have a few people in mind... but they all hate me now
kill me.
how would you guys feel if you've been dating someone for 8 months who has claimed to have been in love with you since the first week but you dont know anything about him?
sure you know EVERYTHING but at the same time you know nothing
like I know that he's an asshole and he's a show off and that he's good at everything he does which makes him that way... I know everything that everyone else knows.. I don't know what goes on inside his head unless its something BAD he's thinking about me. I don't know what he likes I don't know what makes him sad... but just like everyone else I know what makes him angry.... which is me. I know he does drugs but I don't know why he can't stop... I know he goes "crazy" but I don't know why.
everything that happens with him... if it did happen with me or it already has... he knows everything that goes on in my head... I feel so dumb to have completely poured out everything to just a wall... an emotionless wall
apparently if it has nothing to do with me I dont have any reason to know
umm sorry but not everyones as self centered as you are
I'm still your girlfriend
I'd like to know.
because when it comes to shit like this
where youc an't explain cause its personal
I think the worst
and jump into that pile of pillows and lay with me all alone...just the two of us...i dont care who, someone who is pure and i can see , really see. i have few people in mind....heh, but none of them would want me anymore...i guess i have to learn from my mistakes,
i just want to be loved...purely and truely....not sexually....not in a relationship...just someone to care about me that i dont know...someone looking out for me....but, there is no one like that. just me....im the one who has to watch over myself...a
throwing away my life for someone isn't good enough. I'm not pure enough...
I'm sure I'm totally wrong about this but just the fact that no one can explain it to me.
and there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm so sick of trying
I'm not even angry anymore... I want to just go on and bitch about how awful of a boyfriend Brian is... but if Brians such a horrible boyfriend then that makes me an even worse girlfriend for going out with him.
I dont even know if words can explain how I feel right now.
its frustrating... but I can't let myself get mad. I can't just go on being mad at everything and crying over all of my problems.
I just want to cuddle in a bunch of pillows with someone... anyone... I have a few people in mind... but they all hate me now
kill me.
how would you guys feel if you've been dating someone for 8 months who has claimed to have been in love with you since the first week but you dont know anything about him?
sure you know EVERYTHING but at the same time you know nothing
like I know that he's an asshole and he's a show off and that he's good at everything he does which makes him that way... I know everything that everyone else knows.. I don't know what goes on inside his head unless its something BAD he's thinking about me. I don't know what he likes I don't know what makes him sad... but just like everyone else I know what makes him angry.... which is me. I know he does drugs but I don't know why he can't stop... I know he goes "crazy" but I don't know why.
everything that happens with him... if it did happen with me or it already has... he knows everything that goes on in my head... I feel so dumb to have completely poured out everything to just a wall... an emotionless wall
apparently if it has nothing to do with me I dont have any reason to know
umm sorry but not everyones as self centered as you are
I'm still your girlfriend
I'd like to know.
because when it comes to shit like this
where youc an't explain cause its personal
I think the worst
and jump into that pile of pillows and lay with me all alone...just the two of us...i dont care who, someone who is pure and i can see , really see. i have few people in mind....heh, but none of them would want me anymore...i guess i have to learn from my mistakes,
i just want to be loved...purely and truely....not sexually....not in a relationship...just someone to care about me that i dont know...someone looking out for me....but, there is no one like that. just me....im the one who has to watch over myself...a
throwing away my life for someone isn't good enough. I'm not pure enough...
I'm sure I'm totally wrong about this but just the fact that no one can explain it to me.
and there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm so sick of trying