Meeeh.
Stress is bad.
Stress is becoming a big problem at the moment. I don't normally do stress but right now my stress factor is shooting off the scale.
The teaching, for one. My very first experience of supply was, how to put it, utter fucking hell. The first class - fine. The second class - couple of screw ups, but fine. The third class - longest two hours of my bloody life. They were a nightmare. They were everything a teacher would ever dread in a class. I walked out of that class feeling utterly humiliated, a non-person. I kid you not. Wait until you've been screwed over by a bunch of 9 year olds who blatantly do not listen to you and mock every single instruction you give out. I pulled out every goddamn trick in the book that you are taught in the PGCE and it failed. I'm dreading walking in a classroom again.
Which leads on to the ultimate source of my stress - that somewhere along the line I have utterly fucked up what I want to do with my life. I truly now don't know if I want to be teaching. Computers and Science - these are my current loves. Not teaching. I'd rather be sitting on a PC or huddling up in a lab in 50 years time than teaching in a classroom. Fact. And certainly with education the way it is today.
*sigh* I hate the way that advice just abandons you once you leave university. I don't know anywhere I can go to even ask for advice on going into a profession I really want to. My utter dream professions at the moment would be doing ICT stuff, working with a big game company or - wait for it - being a pathologist. Cutting up dead bodies for the win I think. But where do I START?
Bah. I must also try and get out and see my friends. I may also wander down the Jobcentre today and see how they can help with stuff like this. There has to be SOMETHING out there.
- PF out.
Stress is becoming a big problem at the moment. I don't normally do stress but right now my stress factor is shooting off the scale.
The teaching, for one. My very first experience of supply was, how to put it, utter fucking hell. The first class - fine. The second class - couple of screw ups, but fine. The third class - longest two hours of my bloody life. They were a nightmare. They were everything a teacher would ever dread in a class. I walked out of that class feeling utterly humiliated, a non-person. I kid you not. Wait until you've been screwed over by a bunch of 9 year olds who blatantly do not listen to you and mock every single instruction you give out. I pulled out every goddamn trick in the book that you are taught in the PGCE and it failed. I'm dreading walking in a classroom again.
Which leads on to the ultimate source of my stress - that somewhere along the line I have utterly fucked up what I want to do with my life. I truly now don't know if I want to be teaching. Computers and Science - these are my current loves. Not teaching. I'd rather be sitting on a PC or huddling up in a lab in 50 years time than teaching in a classroom. Fact. And certainly with education the way it is today.
*sigh* I hate the way that advice just abandons you once you leave university. I don't know anywhere I can go to even ask for advice on going into a profession I really want to. My utter dream professions at the moment would be doing ICT stuff, working with a big game company or - wait for it - being a pathologist. Cutting up dead bodies for the win I think. But where do I START?
Bah. I must also try and get out and see my friends. I may also wander down the Jobcentre today and see how they can help with stuff like this. There has to be SOMETHING out there.
- PF out.