Is this right where I need to be, or is this another distraction?
I'm so glad I've kept an LJ this whole time. I love being able to look back at my old entries when I was 15-16 and realize how much different my priorities were. Ignorance is truly bliss but I'm happy I matured into the person I am now. I really feel like I'm someone who's changed a lot from the person I was in high school, and looking back, I don't think many have. I mean there's still plenty of commonalities but I used to be so passive emotionally in high school and sheepish with woman, and it's a lot different now. I think part of it is with the maturation process but I think it just clicked for me when I moved to Orlando. British Will might have a lot to do with it too.
6 days until my temporary financial crisis is over. I think I'm going to take Karen to the shooting range for valentines. I racked up 118 hours for my next paycheck. I've been thinking more and more about Vermont lately. It's weird to think that I'll be there in 5 months. Living. Studying. I hope I can get back into the discipline of studying 8 hours a day. I get a little anxious thinking about it, but I do not doubt myself at all. It's funny actually because I find that many of my thoughts these days revolve around how I am going to make money outside of medicine. I don't want to make my primary income from medicine because I want to be a doctor for the enjoyment of it. I don't want to feel like I have to rely on being a doctor to make a living. I feel like those doctors who do are the ones who are always stressed out and down on medicine. I have a lot of plans in my head but I think my biggest problem is initiating execution. Which is totally not a problem in other parts of my life (social, friends, girls, gym, whatever). Some of the doctors have told me they had the most fun in med school while others loathed it. I'm looking forward to it.
I think it's important to live in the 'now' but keep the 'then' in your conscious.
6 days until my temporary financial crisis is over. I think I'm going to take Karen to the shooting range for valentines. I racked up 118 hours for my next paycheck. I've been thinking more and more about Vermont lately. It's weird to think that I'll be there in 5 months. Living. Studying. I hope I can get back into the discipline of studying 8 hours a day. I get a little anxious thinking about it, but I do not doubt myself at all. It's funny actually because I find that many of my thoughts these days revolve around how I am going to make money outside of medicine. I don't want to make my primary income from medicine because I want to be a doctor for the enjoyment of it. I don't want to feel like I have to rely on being a doctor to make a living. I feel like those doctors who do are the ones who are always stressed out and down on medicine. I have a lot of plans in my head but I think my biggest problem is initiating execution. Which is totally not a problem in other parts of my life (social, friends, girls, gym, whatever). Some of the doctors have told me they had the most fun in med school while others loathed it. I'm looking forward to it.
I think it's important to live in the 'now' but keep the 'then' in your conscious.