The Window: Chapter 16...
Title: The Window
By: Silvershine
Pairing: KakaSaku
Rating: M/R/NC-17
Warnings: Carousels...
Window
Chapter Sixteen
Shizune licked her finger and flicked through the wedding magazine on her desk, sighing as she did so. It was a quiet morning in the Hokage tower today. The Hokage herself hadn’t arrived yet and only a handful of people had popped in to drop off paperwork and reports before popping back out. Shizune eyed the clock that hung above the door of the waiting room and checked it against her own watch. Tsunade was late again. It usually meant that when she did arrive, she would probably be drunk as a skunk.
The door opened beneath the clock and Shizune’s head snapped up, expecting it to be her boss, mentor and almost-aunt.
Instead she saw Genma. She smiled automatically in greeting to her regular teammate and friend, but that smile quickly slid off her face when she noticed he was dragging a scruffy blonde boy after him by the lapels. And after Naruto came Hinata, looking pale and wan and so guilty, and after Hinata walked Kakashi with his hands firmly wedged in his pockets. A glum Sakura and an almost angry looking Ino brought up the rear.
“Sit,” Genma ordered Naruto, slinging him into one of the chairs lining the west wall. “Sit,” he ordered the two girls, pointing to the chairs on the east wall. He probably would have ordered Kakashi to sit too if the man hadn’t already found himself a seat directly outside Tsunade’s office door that was furthest away from anyone else. Hinata timidly crawled into the seat next to Naruto, which could have been the bravest thing Shizune had ever seen because that boy looked ready to kill someone.
The room was stiflingly silent.
Genma finally moved to lean on the reception desk, beckoning Shizune to lean forward. “Is the Godaime in?” he asked quietly. “Only we have a little situation on our hands.”
Shizune looked around the room - at Kakashi who was staring resolutely at the floor, at Naruto was glaring death at Kakashi, at Hinata who was on the verge of tears, and at Sakura who sat hunched over in her chair, clutching Ino’s hand for support, though Ino was glaring almost as murderously at Kakashi as Naruto was.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on.
“Tsunade-sama, hasn’t arrived yet,” she told Genma. “What happened?”
He sighed. “Fight broke out in the street. Naruto slugged Kakashi by all accounts over Sakura, and Hinata seems to be involved somehow, so I brought them all in because there seems to be some nasty accusations flying around that the Hokage herself will probably want to address. Although, I don’t know why she’s here,” he said, nodding to Ino.
Ino switched her glare from Kakashi to Genma. “Moral support,” she said righteously, patting Sakura’s back.
Genma shrugged. “Any idea when the Wicked Witch will arrive?”
“Soon,” Shizune said faintly, looking at Hinata who couldn’t meet her eye.
“I feel ill,” Sakura said faintly from her chair, looking distinctly gray. “I think I’m going to throw up.”
“Someone get a bucket!” Ino ordered.
Kakashi was on his feet in a moment, moving towards the queasy girl. The same instant, Naruto and Ino were on theirs, moving to block him.
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough, Kakashi-sensei?” Ino growled at him.
“If you lay a hand on her, I’ll rip it off!” Naruto barked.
“Stop it!” Sakura pleaded. “Both of you!”
“If you’re both so eager to help her,” Kakashi said evenly. “Why don’t you actually help her?”
Ino turned her back on him and crouched before Sakura, urging the other girl to bend over as she rubbed her back comfortingly. “Are you ok, Forehead?”
“It’s just nerves,” Sakura groaned.
“It better be,” Naruto said, glaring hotly at Kakashi who merely raised an eyebrow.
Sakura’s head snapped up. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded.
But Naruto only addressed Kakashi. “If she’s pregnant-”
“You-!”
“Who’s pregnant?”
The quiet voice came from the door, and the room fell silent again as all heads turned to see Tsunade hanging in the doorway, her coat on inside out and a pair of dark shades covering her eyes. From the state of her hair and he appalling posture, it was clear she was suffering a hangover from hell.
“Why are there so many people in my office this time in the morning?” Tsunade croaked sullenly. “Can’t a Hokage have a moment’s peace around here?”
The room erupted in sound again.
“Old lady - I didn’t do anything wrong - it was Kakashi-”
“Naruto attacked Kakashi, shishou-”
“For a good reason!”
“Do you ever shut up?!”
“I’m s-so sorry, Sakura-san, I didn’t mean for this to happen-”
“This is between Forehead and the Old Pervert. Why the hell is she here anyway-”
“Don’t talk about Hinata-chan that way-”
“I have a hangover!” Tsunade ground out, making the room fall quiet again. “Genma, my office now, please. The rest of you can sit down and shut the hell up. I do not want to hear a peep out of any of you until I give you express permission to open your mouth, is that clear?”
No one said a word.
“Good,” she grunted and stomped across the waiting room. Shizune sent Genma a rattled glance as he followed the Hokage inside her office.
Sakura’s stomach continued twisting in knots the moment the door to Tsunade’s office slammed shut. Right now Genma would be giving her shishou the lowdown on the situation which was developing into a drama to rival that of her favorite soap opera. Ino continued to rub her back, acting like a supporting friend even though Sakura suspected she had only come along to get the inside scoop of what was bound to be the number one topic of dinner table conversation for the next week or more. Across the room, Kakashi had retreated to his seat, but he refused to look at her… partly because Naruto would try to punch him again if he did.
The silence was unbearable. She strained to catch anything that was being said within the office, but it seemed that the rumors of it being effectively sound-proofed were true. Not even the faintest whisper could be heard.
It had been a long time since she’d felt this kind of gut-clenching fear. Not since Naruto and Sasuke had attempted to kill each other on the hospital roof. Back then the knowledge that something had happened that could never be fixed and that their team would never be the same as a result had terrified her, and now it was happening all over again. Things would never be the same. And perhaps this time the damage done was even worse…
The door opened again and Genma sauntered out, giving Shizune a significant look. Tsunade emerged after him with a face of barely constrained thunder. She’d lost her shades and now her the dark smudges under her eyes were clearly visible, and when those eyes met Sakura’s, Sakura couldn’t help but shrink back a little.
The penetrating stare switched to Kakashi, who made the mistake of smiling. In a heartbeat she had stormed over, grabbed him by the collar and had hauled him back into her office without a word. Sakura caught only a glimpse of Kakashi’s rather worried looking face before the door slammed shut with a bang that seemed to shake the whole building.
Everyone released a breath they didn’t realized they’d been holding.
“What the hell’s going on, Sakura?” Ino whispered, gaining the courage to speak now that Kakashi was out of ear-shot. “Please tell me this is a horrible mistake.”
“It’s not a ‘horrible mistake’,” Sakura said bitterly.
“I knew you had appalling taste in men, but this is just ridiculous,” Ino said disparagingly. “I said go for an older man, but there are limits, you know. Breaking the law is one of them.”
Yelling could be heard from the office as Tsunade’s voice gained volume. Sakura glanced worriedly at the door. “I thought that room was sound-proof,” she whispered.
“It is,” Shizune said flatly.
And yet snatches of violent verbal diatribe could be heard quite clearly. Things like “responsibilities” and “certain confidences” that “cannot be violated” which “you have so kindly shat on”. Worrying bangs started punctuating each shout, until there was a bang so loud it shook the door like something heavy had been thrown against it. Sakura nearly stood up, but Ino pulled her back down.
The yelling continued, growing more audible and clear.
“You were given a position of trust and this is how you repay me?” Tsunade’s muffled shriek cut through the tense silence. “What? I don’t care if you’re bleeding - GET UP!”
The screaming was fairly unintelligible after that, and Sakura felt a moan of dread rise in her throat to think that she was probably next. “She’s going to kill him,” she whimpered.
“Good,” Naruto declared callously.
Sakura railed on him without hesitation. “Oh, look at you sitting there all smug with yourself!” she seethed. “I bet you’re happy, aren’t you?! Do you know how much trouble you’ve caused because you can’t act like an adult for even thirty seconds!”
“You should have thought about that before you went off with our teacher!” Naruto shouted back. “You’ve brought this on yourself, Sakura!”
And the horrible fact was that it was true. Because even though he was the one who had attacked Kakashi in the middle of the street, the fault made by her and Kakashi completely overshadowed anything Naruto had done. With the way Tsunade was now, no doubt she would applaud Naruto.
Angry tears stung Sakura’s eyes, but they didn’t spill. Shaking Ino off, she stood and stormed over to Naruto. Genma stepped forward, apparently worried she would try to attack him again, but she stopped of where he sat. “You think you’re so justified to blame Kakashi?” she demanded, glaring at him. “You think you were right to hit him like that and make that scene? Then why don’t you go ahead and hit me too, Naruto? Kakashi didn’t do anything I didn’t want him to do - we were both in it together as equals. If anything, I was the one who coerced him, so if you’re going to direct your anger at anyone here it better be at me.”
She waited expectantly, meeting Naruto’s glare with her own. For the first time she was close enough to see that a vicious amber had bled into his blue eyes, and his pupils were distorted. Kyuubi was there, clawing away at the surface, but Naruto was in complete control.
“Well?” she said, giving his head a jeering smack. “What are you waiting for? Hit me!”
“What the fuck’s the matter with you?!” Naruto cried, pushing her away. “Why him?! What the hell is wrong in your brain that you’d even consider him?!”
“Hey, hey, hey!” Genma intervened again when Sakura made a move to slap him. She was shuttled back to her seat where Ino held her down under the pretense of a Best Friend Hug. Sakura was too angry to protest. She simply shook with rage and muttered something explicit about hypocrites and assholes.
Suddenly the shouting in the office died with a final bang and everyone looked towards the door.
“I hope she hasn’t killed him,” Shizune fretted.
It was unsettlingly quiet. Sakura waited with baited breath, wondering if Tsunade really had killed him and whether or not Sakura should break down the door to come to his rescue. But before she could give into this impulse the door swung open, making everyone jump and Kakashi emerged with a bloody hand clutched to a gash on his brow. Sakura tried to stand and go to him, but Ino had her firmly trapped.
“Genma,” Tsunade snapped. “Escort Hatake to the hospital. Inform the nurses to be as brutal as they wish.”
Genma nodded and took Kakashi by the elbow, leading him away as if he was a prisoner. As they passed, Kakashi gave her a surreptitious thumbs up, but it did little to quash Sakura’s concern.
“Sakura,” Tsunade barked, and at once she realized that it was her turn to be beaten and interrogated. As she sloped inside, Tsunade turned to address Shizune. “Get me the Law Book.”
“The law book?” Shizune repeated, confused.
“The book with the laws in it! The big one!” Tsunade snapped.
“The Village Charter?” Shizune guessed.
“Whatever, just bring it to me now.”
The door slammed shut and Sakura looked nervously around the office. There were numerous dents in the wall that seemed to have been made by the various plant pots, pen holders and paperweights that lay littering the floor. Paper was strewn everywhere. Sakura quickly scanned Tsunade’s desk and was reassured to see that there was nothing much left to throw.
“Sit down,” Tsunade said curtly.
Sakura obeyed meekly, though she had to pick up the chair and set it right first before she could sit in it. Tsunade took her own seat, but rather than address Sakura, she took a stapler from her drawer and began fiercely stapling documents together - seemingly regardless of the order.
Was Tsunade attempting to freeze her out? Was she going to keep quiet until Sakura cracked and spilled all? She had no idea what Kakashi had said before her (if he’d managed to get a word in edgeways of all that shouting) so she had to tread carefully.
But it was Tsunade who cracked first - or more accurately it was her stapler. One of the staples split wrong and stuck in the device, and with an annoyed grunt Tsunade threw it against the door, missing Sakura’s ear by a few inches. Then she put her head in her hands and pressed the heel of her palms against her eyes.
“Why have you done this to me, Sakura?” she said weakly. “Do you have any idea what position you have put me in?”
Sakura didn’t know what else to say but, “I’m sorry.”
It was the wrong thing, incidentally. “Sorry is not good enough!” Tsunade snapped. “You’re my apprentice! I trained you to be smart and intelligent and rational, and I am left staggered at how anyone under my tutelage could have done something so unbelievably stupid! I’m disappointed in you.”
Sakura looked at the floor, feeling nothing short of horrible in every sense.
Tsunade forced herself to calm. “Well, we might as well get to the point,” she said, with the manner of someone resigning themselves to a very unpleasant task. “Are you pregnant?”
Sakura felt a cold shiver of humiliation run through her bones. “No, shishou,” she said quietly.
“Are you sure?”
“Very sure, shishou,” she said again, and the annoyance she felt at so many people questioning her competence at managing her own body leaked into her tone. “My birth control is up to date. I’ve never had any accidents before, I don’t see why I would start now.”
“Don’t take that tone with me, Sakura. I have to be sure.”
“Sorry, shishou. I understand.”
“Did he groom you?” Tsunade asked next.
Sakura frowned, not understanding. There was that time he stoked his fingers through her hair after they lay basking in the aftermath of a fantastic bout of sex, but that didn’t seem to be very relevant. “I’m not sure what you mean, shishou…”
“What I mean is, did he coerce you in any way?” Tsunade demanded, leaning forward intently. “You’ve been his student since you were twelve. Has there been any inappropriate sexual advances during this time? Touching? Fondling? Comments? Anything that would-”
“No!” Sakura cried, faintly alarmed. “Kakashi wouldn’t do that! Our relationship only started two weeks ago. Before that there was nothing, I swear. He never touched me. He barely paid much attention to me at all. He wouldn’t… he’s not… how could you think that of him?”
“Because you realize that everyone will think this of him now?”
Sakura wilted. “I was the one who went to him, shishou. Kakashi didn’t force me into anything.”
“That’s interesting,” Tsunade said, reclining back in her seat. “On the one hand there’s him taking full responsibility, and on the other here’s you doing exactly the same.”
“He’s trying to protect me,” Sakura said quietly. “But it wasn’t him, it was me. It was my idea, and he only went along with it because he felt sorry for me.”
“So you instigated the relationship?”
“Yes.”
“For the purpose of gaining extra credits for your review, perhaps?”
Sakura closed her eyes and clenched her fist. “No. It was coincidence. And Kakashi isn’t the type of person to let personal relationships cloud his professional judgment.”
“Apparently not. He failed you, as I seem to recall.”
Sakura nodded.
“You understand that his decision is now defunct?” Tsunade asked. “I’ll have to arrange for another examiner to review you.”
“I don’t care,” Sakura said shaking her head. “Just, please, shishou… tell me how much trouble we’re in.”
Tsunade raised an eyebrow at her. “How much trouble do you think you’re in?” When Sakura didn’t answer she went on. “Obviously you assumed there would be some trouble or you wouldn’t have felt the need for such secrecy.”
Sakura stared at her. “You won’t… execute Kakashi… will you?”
Tsunade leaned forward, eyes narrowed. “I remain undecided on that one.”
“Shizune-san said that the last man to sleep with his student was given an execution order.”
“Yes. However, the execution order had very little to do with the fact he seduced his student and more to do with the fact he was habitually kidnapping and murdering a significant portion of our shinobi force for his genetic experimentations.”
Sakura relaxed a little.
“The penalties for statutory rape are still, nevertheless, high,” Tsunade went on.
“But I’m of age-”
“Yes, but the trust of student and teacher is a sacred one safe-guarded by the law itself. If it has been violated, there will be consequences.”
There came a knock at the door. “Come in!” Tsunade shouted impatiently.
Shizune scurried into the room with a very large, very old book pressed against her chest. As she placed it on the desk, Tsunade slid on a pair of reading glasses and swiftly began searching through the book.
“The law regarding fraternization between teachers and students is an old one, Sakura,” Tsunade said as she scoured the pages. “It hasn’t been updated since it was first written, which was around the time the village was first founded. I was planning to go through this book and quietly abolish all these old, silly little laws that rarely needed enforcing anymore. I had no idea I needed to hurry on your account.”
Sakura fiddled anxiously with the hem of her skirt as Tsunade carefully poured over the old charter, running her finger down the pages in search of the relevant statute. She paused once, and Sakura’s heart flew into her throat. “Apparently it’s illegal to set fire to monkey for the purpose of clearing out the hot springs,” Tsunade read aloud. “Some of the things in here are ridiculous.”
She flipped forward a few more pages before her finger came to a stop and both she and Shizune leaned in close to read one particular passage. After a moment, they both leant back and Tsunade slammed the book shut in an eruption of dust, before settling to stare at Sakura mutely across the desk.
“So…?” Sakura edged.
“The law is quite clear on this subject,” Tsunade said, almost serenely. “Teachers who take advantage of their students are to be imprisoned and/or executed depending upon the whim of the student’s father.”
Sakura covered her mouth, not trusting herself not to cry out.
“At least, that is the action to be taken in the case of underage students,” Tsunade continued. “You’ll probably be glad to hear that fraternizing involve of-age students is slightly less harsh. But it all hangs on one factor.”
“What factor?” Sakura asked worriedly.
Tsunade closed her eyes to ruminate for a few moments, before opening them again to regard Sakura with tired, hooded eyes. “Whether or not the two of you are in love.”
“I don’t understand,” Sakura said hesitantly.
“It’s quite simple.” Tsunade folded her arms under her generous chest. “The severity of your punishment hangs on whether or not you are genuinely in love with each other. So what is your answer, Sakura?”
Sakura didn’t have one. How could something so arbitrary of love affect the law? Was her teacher saying that the law was more lenient on those who had found real love than those who were simply fooling around? But exactly which category did she and Kakashi fit into? A week ago she would have been quite clear - they meant nothing to each other than a fun roll around between the sheets, satisfying biological urges. But now? Now there was a dangerous feeling in her chest that didn’t belong to someone who was simply fooling around with their teacher.
Although the question was, did Kakashi feel it too? And even if they were both victims to it, was it really something as deep and profound as ‘love’?
Sakura opened her mouth the hedge an answer, but Tsunade interrupted. “Please bear in mind, Sakura,” she said with a humorless smile, “that I already asked this question of Kakashi, and I’ll be interested to hear how your answer compares with his.”
Desperately, Sakura looked to Shizune for some indication of what to say, but Shizune’s face was tense and unreadable as she stared back at Sakura. This felt like a trap. If Kakashi had been asked this question he would have been compelled to reply honestly. But when he wouldn’t even acknowledge the state of their relationship to Sakura, how likely was it he would have done so to Tsunade?
Resigned, Sakura bowed her head. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “We aren’t serious. It was just a fling and nothing more. We’re not in love.”
When she dared to look back up at her master, Tsunade’s cutting smile had widened. “How interesting,” she murmured. “You may go.”
Shaken, Sakura stayed frozen to the spot. “What about the punishments?”
“They will be handled later, and you’ll be informed about my decision before tonight. You may go.”
Sakura slowly rose to her feet. Shizune was there to open the door for her and once more she found herself in the waiting room, looking into searching, anxious faces. “What’s going to happen?” Ino asked her quickly.
Before Sakura could say that she didn’t know, Tsunade appeared behind her.
“Naruto,” she said, addressing the peevish boy. “I’m disappointed in you. The moment you learnt of this matter you should have come straight to me rather than take things into your own hands. There is no excuse for attacking your own team leader on a civilian street - no, don’t interrupt me. I’ll decide on an appropriate punishment for you later as well.”
She turned on Hinata who visibly flinched. “And you, Hinata. I’m surprised at you. Of all people here you had least reason to withhold information, but instead you chose to go straight to Naruto who you know perfectly well would have reacted badly. Were you trying to cause trouble?”
Hinata blanched, upset. “N-No, I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t tell Naruto-kun. H-He kept asking questions and I told him to stop, and when we were walking past the red lantern h-he saw Kakashi with Sakura and he joked that that they were together. I-I’m so sorry. H-He saw Kakashi-sensei touch Sakura-san and then he looked at me and he just knew… I’m s-so, so sorry. But I wasn’t trying to cause trouble, I promise!”
Tsunade frowned. “You still knew of their affair, but you didn’t inform me. Withholding this kind of information is still a punishable offence, Hinata.”
Sakura noticed the way Hinata’s eyes flicked to Shizune, but she simply nodded and hung her head.
“No, Tsunade-sama,” Shizune said quietly, stepping forward. “Please don’t punish Hinata too harshly. I asked her not to tell anyone about Kakashi and Sakura. I am technically her superior, so she was only acting under my orders.”
Surprised, Tsunade turned on her. “You knew?” she demanded. “And you didn’t tell me?”
Shizune nodded unhappily.
Tsunade nearly laughed. “I swear you all do this to annoy me,” she sighed to the ceiling. “Please, by all means, tell me who told you about this affair. Is there anyone else I need to add to this list of punishments?”
“No one told me,” Shizune admitted. “I just found out.”
“How?” Sakura asked weakly.
Shizune cast her a guilty look and pulled something from her long sleeves. “Kakashi dropped these. You really shouldn’t write your name in your underwear, Sakura… the ink can run in the wash if you’re not careful.”
She passed the pair of dainty panties to Sakura who could only stare at them in confusion. Tsunade had a hand pressed over her face again, and Naruto looked apoplectic.
“You,” Tsunade pointed to Ino who froze. “What are you doing here? What exactly do you need to be punished for?”
“I-I’m only here for moral support, Hokage-sama.”
Tsunade’s arm dropped. “Fine. You’re all free to go, and I recommend that you get lost quickly before I do something I regret.”
“You’re a fucking idiot, you know?”
“I know.”
“You’re lucky she didn’t neuter you right there on the spot.”
“She tried to.”
Genma shook his head and whistled through his teeth as he leaned in close to examine the nurse’s progress with Kakashi’s head wound. The young woman was busily applying butterfly stitches to the long gash. “I count nine stitches and up,” he said. “Not worth it, Hatake.”
If Kakashi hadn’t had his eyes closed, he would have rolled them.
“You could be executed for this, you know.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Kakashi said wearily. “There’s only two things you can be executed for in Konoha these days - treason and piracy. Neither of which I have committed to my knowledge. All I did was sleep with another adult who happens to be on the same team as me.”
“That’s not how other people are going to see it, Hatake,” Genma pointed out. “People hear that a teacher took a student to bed and they’ll assume you’ve taken advantage of her in some way. And you’re a weird recluse… it wouldn’t surprise me if they thought the very worst.”
The nurse attending Kakashi’s head paused. “Aren’t you Haruno Sakura’s teacher?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said flatly.
“Ah. I like Haruno-san,” she said, and then resumed her work, although this time pressing the adhesive strips to his wound with much more needless pressure. He winced, but had to endure.
“How old is she?” Genma asked. “Sixteen… seventeen?”
“Eighteen,” Kakashi replied tersely.
Once again Genma shook his head in disbelief. “What are you doing with a girl that age?” he asked, bewildered. “Is this some midlife crisis you’re going through? You have to be careful, Hatake. You know what it’s like to be eighteen… you fall in love at the drop of the hat. Is that really something you need to be tangling with?”
Kakashi studiously ignored him.
“Oi,” Genma bent down to eye-level with him. “You two aren’t in love are you?”
Kakashi flicked an impassive glance his way. “The Godaime asked that very same question.”
“And?” Genma prompted. “What did you say?”
“I told the truth.”
“Which is?”
“None of your business.”
Genma sighed and straightened. “I have to say, for once I don’t envy you that much. Whatever punishment you’re given… I think it’s safe to say you’re fucked.”
“Thanks.”
“And good luck looking your teammates in the eye again.”
“…right… thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” Genma clapped him on the shoulder. “Well, I’m sure there are at least a handful of people who haven’t heard the news by now. I can’t let Anko have all the fun, so I’m off to go find them. I’ll see you around, Hatake.”
Kakashi heaved a small sigh and closed his eyes again, letting the nurse continue with her brutal prodding and poking. Eventually she finished and stepped back to admire her handiwork. “Perfect,” she said with menacing cheer. “You can go now.”
“Don’t I get a lollipop?”
He made that half-hearted joke virtually every time a hospital visit came to an end, whether it be for a flu jab, a broken leg, or a coma. Normally the nurses and medics laughed it off, but the look this nurse gave him made him wonder if he’d said something obscenely inappropriate. She looked at him as if he’d demanded oral sex.
People had always thought of him as a pervert. But now it was clear they thought of him as a pervert.
“You can go now,” she said frostily, turning her back on him.
“Right,” he said, cowed.
It was best just to get out of there and go home. His uniform was covered in blood (because head wounds always bled disproportionately to their seriousness) so his first plan was to get changed. Then he would…
Actually he didn’t really know what he would do after that. He’d been warning himself since the night Sakura had turned up on his doorstep soaking wet that the consequences would be dire should they have been found out. But his major defense against this had simply been to make sure no one would find out; it had been his plan A.
There was no plan B.
“Looks like you’ll have to ride this one out,” he murmured to himself as he made his way down the long sterile corridors, ignoring the way eyes darted away from him the moment they caught sight of him. He could feel them staring at his back, though, thinking he couldn’t tell. But he just mentally shrugged and left the building without fuss.
It was already midday outside. The streets were thick with people on their lunch break, and in a way this was a small blessing because Kakashi could blend more easily. A few eyes lingered on him as he made his way home, but it was still early. It would be at least six more hours before the gossip spread to all corners of the village, and until then it was still possible to traverse the streets without every other person glaring at him.
But it wasn’t a completely hassle free journey. As he turned down a residential avenue someone recognized him from across the street and shouted out. “What’s the matter, Hatake? Can’t find a willing grown up so you’ve resorted to dipping your prick in your own kids?”
This was followed by a rowdy round of laughter and guffaws, and Kakashi glanced over with only mild curiosity to see a small gang of young jonin congratulating themselves. Though they seemed to know him, he hadn’t a clue who any of them were, so he shook his head and continued on his way. Heckling was nothing new to him, and over the years he’d learnt to ignore it.
But how would Sakura cope?
At least his apartment door hadn’t been egged yet. Kakashi let himself inside his own home and quickly slung his uniform in a heap beside the bed before pulling on a clean black vest and training pants. He spent a few minutes examining his new cut in the mirror, noticing that the first few strips had been laid with precision and care while the last few (coincidentally laid after he’d mentioned Sakura’s name to the nurse) were haphazard and all over the place.
Tsunade’s temper was almost as legendary as her rotten gambling skills. It didn’t surprise him that she’d resorted to throwing things at him so quickly, because he knew that she had a special interest in Sakura and had grown fond of the girl over the years. It was only natural that she was protective of her own apprentice and in many ways she was more Sakura’s teacher than he was.
And the thing about the Hokage was that when she started throwing things, it wasn’t wise to dodge; it only made her angrier, as Kakashi had discovered. Quite quickly he’d learnt how difficult it was to explain and defend your position when a volcanic woman was hurling half the objects in her office at you, and there were only so many things you could dodge. So between getting hit in the head with a plant pot and being nailed in the gonads by a pair of sharp scissors… Kakashi felt he’d made the right choice.
He was clumsily attempting to straight the stitches on his brow when he caught sight of movement in the mirror behind him. Without turning around he watched Sakura quietly slip in through the window and onto his bed. She looked tense.
“I see you escaped unscathed,” he commented, turning his attention back to his stitches.
Sakura walked up behind him, and the next thing he knew, she’d banged his head against the mirror.
“Ow.” He was beginning to feel quite abused today.
“You idiot!” she ground out, shaking a pair of panties at him angrily. “You stole my underwear!”
He glanced at the panties and his eyebrows shot up. “Oh! I was wondering where those went. I thought I’d dropped them during the mission,” he said, taking the panties to admire them.
Sakura snatched them back. “You dropped them in the hospital,” she said hotly. “Shizune found them and that’s why everyone knows now.”
“So Shizune told everyone?” he asked, frowning. That didn’t sound like something Shizune would do.
“No, she told Hinata who can’t stand up to Naruto to save her life,” Sakura sighed, chewing her lip. “Tsunade-shishou says that she’ll decide the punishments later today. But everyone knows, Kakashi. Everyone’s looking at me funny and I can hear people laughing behind my back.”
She looked like she might start crying at any moment, so Kakashi reached out to touch her shoulder compassionately and let her fall against his chest. Her breathing was shaky, but she seemed to be trying hard not to cry… she just needed a moment to compose herself. In the mirror, Kakashi caught sight of their reflection. Did they look mismatched? Did they fit? Kakashi couldn’t tell anymore. He’d lost the ability to distinguish. All he saw was a short, pink-haired girl tucked under the chin of a taller white-haired man.
“Naruto hates me,” she whispered. “He’s never looked at me like he did today. I feel like I’ve betrayed him… but I’m so angry at him too! How could he do that in front of everyone?! It’s like he wanted to humiliate us!”
“Naruto isn’t so objective, Sakura,” he said softly. “He was hurt. He just confronted what he saw… I doubt he realized what would happen. He probably doesn’t even know it was against the rules.”
“Why are you defending him?” Sakura asked, leaning back to scowl at him. “He hit you.”
“He hurt me,” he corrected, “because we’ve hurt him. My face might be bruised for a week, but his feelings will probably carry this hurt for a lot longer.”
She sagged against him again. “I’m scared,” she muttered.
“So am I,” he said.
“No, you’re not,” she groaned. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“Did it work?”
“No…”
With a soft smile he took her head in his hands and lifted her face to receive a kiss. She was despondent at first, but then she suddenly pulled away and moved to sit on the bed, her back turned to him. “I’m not in the mood,” she said unhappily. “I can’t even look at you, I feel so guilty. If anyone knew I was here, I think they’d be quite upset.”
He moved to sit on the bed beside her. “You should probably go then,” he suggested.
“But there’s no where else to go,” she said. “And I mean it. Everywhere I go… everyone’s going to know and they’re going to sit there and judge me. You’re the only one who will smile at me today.”
She glanced back at him and promptly burst out laughing. Perhaps because Kakashi at that moment was contriving to glare and pout at her? She fell sideways, her head landing in his lap and gradually her laughter faded. “I wish time would stop,” she said, her fingers curling in the fabric of his pants. “I don’t want to face what comes next.”
He stared back at his reflection in the mirror opposite, watching his fingers brush through her hair, seemingly of their own accord. “You can’t stop time, Sakura. We have to be brave.”
“It would be easier to stop time,” she mumbled.
She didn’t say anything after that. Her eyes slid shut and after a while he was convinced she’d fallen asleep. His leg was falling asleep, but he didn’t have the heart to wake her and set her aside… instead he carried on smoothing her hair and watching that man in the mirror who he barely recognized anymore.
A sweet chirping sounded from the open window. He glanced over distractedly and saw two small birds hopping along his windowsill and fluttering their wings and swiveling their heads in jerky motions.
“Sakura.” He squeezed her shoulder and she stirred slowly. “We’re being summoned.”
“Naruto-kun… are you mad at me?”
Naruto wasn’t sure. It wasn’t her fault that two of his closest friends had been sleeping with each other behind his back, but at the same time he felt like blaming everyone involved.
“You knew, Hinata-chan,” he accused, but managed to keep most of the anger out of his tone. For some reason he couldn’t shout at this girl. It seemed cruel. “Why didn’t you say something?”
She flinched as if he’d shouted anyway. “I’m sorry, Naruto-kun…”
They rounded the corner of the Hokage tower and Naruto leapt over the fence of the academy grounds, intending to take a short cut. After a moment of hesitation, Hinata followed.
“How could they do this?” he raged, more to himself. He kicked the small carousel he’d used to play on as a child (usually alone) and spent it spinning. It didn’t alleviate his anger as much as he’d hoped. “It’s sick! It’s wrong! It’s like incest or something!”
Hinata wrung her hands behind him. “B-But they’re not related.”
“My team is like my family, Hinata-chan,” he explained. “Kakashi-sensei is like a big brother. And Sakura is like my sister - no! - my cousin. Removed a few times. Because it’s weird to like your sister, right? Right…”
“I understand,” she said quietly. “I see my team as like a second family sometimes.”
Naruto shook his head. “It’s the only family I’ve got…”
Hinata looked at him, a fleeting hint of surprise in her face. “I think I understand what you mean,” she said.
With a defeated sigh, Naruto slumped down to sit on the carousel, clinging to the bars on either side of him. “He knew I liked her,” he said in a low voice. “I told him often enough. But she was supposed to be in love with Sasuke-bastard! I could cope with that… but now she’s gone after Kakashi-sensei too? It’s like she’ll have anyone but me. What’s so bad about me that she’d rather go for an old man?”
Hinata sank down next to him. “I don’t th-think there’s anything wrong with you,” she said quickly. “Sasuke-kun and Kakashi-sensei are very similar when you think about it… and maybe that’s the type of guy Sakura-san likes. Th-There are loads of girls who would like you. I bet th-there’s loads of girls who would die for the chance to be even noticed by you.”
“Oh yeah?” Naruto said glumly. “Name one.”
Hinata seemed to have lost her voice at that point. Naruto took it to mean that she couldn’t think of anyone, but that didn’t surprise him. “Forget it, Hinata-chan,” he mumbled. “There’s nothing I can do about it now. Everything’s gone wrong…”
“I didn’t want to keep you in the dark, Naruto-kun,” she whispered. “But I didn’t want to hurt you, and I didn’t want to betray Sakura-san either. I don’t agree with what she’s doing, but… she seemed happy.”
Naruto looked at her. “Happy,” he repeated impassively. “What if he’s forcing himself on her?”
Hinata looked uncertain for a moment. “Do you think Kakashi-sensei could do that?”
“I guess not…”
He pressed his face into his hands and wished he could black out his own memory. It was burned into his brain. Following Hinata’s gaze across the street to the restaurant to where Kakashi and Sakura were sitting, making that joke to Hinata that Kakashi was really her secret man… seeing that look of horrified guilt cross her face and then the way Kakashi’s hand slid onto Sakura’s leg in the way no teacher should ever touch a student… and…
It had crossed his mind. Of course it had, it was only natural. The moment he’d heard that rumor about the jonin teacher and the student, he’d immediately wondered if it might possibly be referring to Kakashi. But he’d dismissed it as impossible. Though at the back of his mind it had never truly left him, and all those funny looks the two had been giving each other and the way they had sat so close on the picnic bench yesterday… it all made sense now.
“Do you think she’s happy?” Naruto asked quietly.
Hinata deliberated. “If she was… you made her very unhappy, Naruto-kun.”
That was true. He felt guilty for losing his temper like that, but at the same time the anger and injustice still cut deep. The feeling of betrayal was making it hard to forgive.
Cool fingers touched the back of his hand and he blinked in surprise to see that Hinata had placed her hand over his on the bar. Oddly, her fingers were shaking, but then Hinata had always been a bit weird…
“I-I like you, Naruto-kun,” she whispered, slowly turning red. “I really do.”
He stared at her, and then smiled. “I like you too, Hinata-chan!” he said cheerfully.
Her eyes widened almost hopefully, but then she quietly sagged. “Right…”
What a strange girl. Naruto might have asked if there was something wrong with what he said, but at that moment a large song thrush landed at their feet. It warbled a short song, flicked its wings twice and then flitted off into the trees. Naruto wrinkled his nose and looked up at the Hokage’s tower looming over them.
“She must have decided already,” he sighed. “We should go.”
“Ah, what a bunch of cheerful looking souls you all are,” Tsunade greeted them dryly as they filed in through the door and arranged themselves in a line before her desk.
Sakura glanced across at Naruto who was staring obnoxiously out of the window as if he would rather be somewhere down there than up here in this room with her and Kakashi. Hinata and Shizune stood between them, effectively keeping them separate in case any more fisticuffs broke out.
“You all know why you’re here,” Tsunade said, getting straight down to business. “It pains me to have to do this, but there really is no way around it. I hope you’ll understand.
“First all, Naruto,” she said looking to the boy at the end of the line. “A shinobi needs to keep a controlled reign on his emotions at all times. Losing your head and attacking your team leader is unacceptable. I’d like you to apologize to Kakashi.”
Naruto shifted on his feet, looking constipated. After a moment he turned his head vaguely in Kakashi’s direction and muttered something that could have been ‘sorry’. Kakashi cleared his throat and nodded, equally uncomfortable. Sakura rolled her eyes.
“Shizune and Hinata,” Tsunade turned to address them, “You both withheld information from your Hokage. I understand that you did so thinking it was in the best interests of your friends, and I admire your loyalty… but there is a time and a place to keep secrets and this was not it. You’re both suspended from work for two weeks, no pay.”
Shizune’s chin wobbled a little bit, but she nodded her acceptance while Hinata looked like she couldn’t believe her luck. Perhaps she had been expecting much worse?
Sakura was next in line and Tsunade’s amber gaze landed on with the kind of expression that was hard to tell if she was smiling or not. “Your apprenticeship with me ends today, Sakura,” she said softly. “I can’t teach you anymore. I’m sorry.”
Sakura’s breath left her like it had been pulled out of her, “Shishou, please-”
“This isn’t open to debate, Haruno,” Tsunade interrupted. “From now on you address me as Hokage-sama.”
Her mother could have called now and told her she wanted nothing more to do with Sakura, and her father could have walked in and told her straight to her face that he didn’t love her as much as he did his new daughter, and it wouldn’t hurt nearly so much as it hurt to be disowned by Tsunade. Sakura swallowed hard and lowered her eyes to the floor, more to hide the film of tears that threatened to fall. “Yes, Hokage-sama,” she rasped.
“And Kakashi,” Tsunade turned on him. “How is your head?”
“Sore…”
“Good,” she replied contritely. “I’m hereby demoting you to chunin, Hatake Kakashi. You will not have another chance for promotion for the next ten years, and you will never teach again as long as you live.”
Beside her, Kakashi went very still. Sakura glanced at him in shock, wondering how he must be taking this. What little was visible of his face was lax with astonishment.
“Team Kakashi is now officially disbanded,” Tsunade went on. “Tatami Iwashi recently transferred into ANBU so there is an opening on Team Genma. Kakashi, you will be taking this vacancy and working under Genma with Shizune and Raidou. Tenzou was originally going to have this position as he handed me his resignation last week, but under the circumstances I think it’s more prudent that he form his own new team with the remaining members of Team Kakashi, now named Team Tenzou.”
“What?” Sakura breathed.
“Wait,” Naruto said, unfolding his arms. “How is this fair?”
“This is the most leniency I can grant you,” Tsunade said testily. “Would you rather I throw him in prison?”
Naruto struggled for words. “But you’re breaking up our team!”
Tsunade threw up her hands. “I have no choice!” Her angry eyes flashed on Sakura and Kakashi again. “Do you two even realize what kind of disgrace you are in? You have committed a taboo! I would throw the book at you entirely but what you both face from this point on will be more devastating and cruel than anything I can give you. You will suffer enough without any help from me.”
Sakura couldn’t help it. Fear clenched hard around her heart and her hand moved of its own accord, seeking out Kakashi’s. His warm fingers closed around her trembling ones, safe-guarding them and making her feel fractionally less terrified. If he was here with her she could face it. Alone she would crumble.
“I hope you’re all very pleased with what you’ve accomplished with your actions today,” Tsunade drawled, the disappointment stinging them all. “And I hope to god that this relationship is worth the sacrifice of your team. Now get out of my sight.”
Naruto tried to protest. “But-”
“Get! Out!”
She was in the mood to throw things again. They had no choice but to file out, shell-shocked and devastated. It felt a little unreal, Sakura reflected, to think that Team Kakashi was gone and Kakashi was a chunin and she was no longer the apprentice of the Hokage. It would sink in soon, but for now they were just words that danced before her like a prophecy that would soon come true… something that spelled doom whichever way you looked at it.
She glanced at Naruto who looked unusually blank. Like a kick in the guts, self-loathing struck her. What had she done? This team was his life… his family… and she’d destroyed it.
“Naruto…” She reached out to touch his arm, but he flinched away. The look he gave her said it all, and he quickly turned and walked out of the waiting room. Sakura wondered if he would ever speak to her again. Shizune passed her, giving her a sideways glance and a disappointed sigh. Hinata avoided looking at her entirely.
Kakashi’s hand still held hers. “Let’s go home,” he said quietly.
Disgraceful. Shameful. Revolting. Disgusting. These were all whispers Sakura caught as she followed Kakashi’s lead home. People openly stared, some bothering to hold their whispers until they had passed but some uttered their repulsion with almost deliberate volume. How dare they, she heard, together like this in broad daylight? They should be ashamed.
And she was. Shame pressed around her like a suffocating blanket to the point where she even tried to shake her hand out of Kakashi’s to keep them from staring at their joined hands. But Kakashi wouldn’t let her. Wordlessly he held onto her until they arrived at his apartment where he let her fall on his sofa before disappearing into another room. Sakura pressed her face against the cushions and willed herself not to cry. Not in front of Kakashi. Not when he was so calm about it.
He returned a moment later and sat down next to her, pulling her upright and sliding a lightweight box onto her lap. She looked down and snorted with laughter despite herself. “Am I that obvious?” she said shakily, taking one of the tissues.
“I suspected,” he said quietly.
“Well, I’d hate to disappoint,” she squeaked, and pressed the tissue to her face as she hunched over and began to shake with stifled sobs. Kakashi’s hand warmed her back, letting her know she wasn’t alone. “I’m sorry,” she gasped, “y-you got demoted because of me.”
“And you lost your apprenticeship because of me,” he said quietly. “I think we’ve sustained equal losses here.”
“But the team!” she cried. “It’s not Team Kakashi without Kakashi in it! Naruto will blame me for losing you! He hates me - you saw the way he looked at me!” She sniffed and closed her eyes. “Everyone hates me. They’re all whispering… I can still hear it…”
“It won’t be easy, Sakura-”
“Understatement!”
“But things will get better,” he said. “I promise.”
“You promised that before,” she pointed out warily. “And right after that, everything got a lot worse.”
“Yes, but it did get better eventually. Just give it time. Give them time.”
“I guess,” she whispered sadly.
“And I suppose, failing that, we could always defect to another village.”
He probably meant it as a joke, but Sakura locked it away in the back of her mind as the extreme back-up plan. She turned and leant against his side, enjoying the way his arm wrapped around her automatically. “I feel guilty for even being here,” she confided in him softly. “Maybe I should go home?”
“Why feel guilty? The damage has been done,” he said, not without a small trace of bitterness. “We’ve paid for this, we might as well enjoy it.”
Sakura wondered if they would get their money’s worth though. Knowing Kakashi’s track record, he was probably overdue to dump her and pick up the next girl that managed to intrigue him. She warned herself to keep a hard heart. In her experience, men hit the deck and made a run for it when things got rough, and though she liked to think Kakashi was better than most men, she refused to keep any illusions that he was perfect.
She wouldn’t blame him if after a while it dawned on him that she hadn’t been worth the loss of his job and reputation, because right now she was thinking exactly the same. Why had he bothered with her at all? As far as she knew, she hadn’t been worth this much trouble. Not to anyone to whom she was just a casual fling and another notch in the bedpost.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered again.
“It’s not your fault,” he murmured back, his head leaning against hers.
“I think it is,” she said, even more quietly. “In the office, Tsunade-shishou asked me whether or not we were in love. She said our punishments depended on my answer… and I think I gave the wrong one.”
“What did you say?” he asked, suddenly attentive.
“I told the truth,” she said helplessly. “We’re not in love. But maybe I should have lied if it meant you kept your job…”
He was silent for a long time, and in the pause she heard the hum of conversation and traffic on the street below. It made her wonder exactly how she was going to face going out there again.
“Tsunade asked me the same question,” he said after a moment. “After she stopped throwing things at me, I mean.”
“And how did you reply?”
“I also told the truth,” he said vaguely. “But it doesn’t really matter now.”
“I guess not…”
Yet there was no shaking the overwhelming sense of loss now. She closed her eyes and listened to Kakashi’s breathing as she felt the steady thump of his heart beneath her hand on his chest. Did he feel it too? These turbulent emotions pumping through the blood? The fear that clenched like a vice around the stomach? The regret so sharp in made the chest hurt?
By: Silvershine
Pairing: KakaSaku
Rating: M/R/NC-17
Warnings: Carousels...
Window
Chapter Sixteen
Shizune licked her finger and flicked through the wedding magazine on her desk, sighing as she did so. It was a quiet morning in the Hokage tower today. The Hokage herself hadn’t arrived yet and only a handful of people had popped in to drop off paperwork and reports before popping back out. Shizune eyed the clock that hung above the door of the waiting room and checked it against her own watch. Tsunade was late again. It usually meant that when she did arrive, she would probably be drunk as a skunk.
The door opened beneath the clock and Shizune’s head snapped up, expecting it to be her boss, mentor and almost-aunt.
Instead she saw Genma. She smiled automatically in greeting to her regular teammate and friend, but that smile quickly slid off her face when she noticed he was dragging a scruffy blonde boy after him by the lapels. And after Naruto came Hinata, looking pale and wan and so guilty, and after Hinata walked Kakashi with his hands firmly wedged in his pockets. A glum Sakura and an almost angry looking Ino brought up the rear.
“Sit,” Genma ordered Naruto, slinging him into one of the chairs lining the west wall. “Sit,” he ordered the two girls, pointing to the chairs on the east wall. He probably would have ordered Kakashi to sit too if the man hadn’t already found himself a seat directly outside Tsunade’s office door that was furthest away from anyone else. Hinata timidly crawled into the seat next to Naruto, which could have been the bravest thing Shizune had ever seen because that boy looked ready to kill someone.
The room was stiflingly silent.
Genma finally moved to lean on the reception desk, beckoning Shizune to lean forward. “Is the Godaime in?” he asked quietly. “Only we have a little situation on our hands.”
Shizune looked around the room - at Kakashi who was staring resolutely at the floor, at Naruto was glaring death at Kakashi, at Hinata who was on the verge of tears, and at Sakura who sat hunched over in her chair, clutching Ino’s hand for support, though Ino was glaring almost as murderously at Kakashi as Naruto was.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on.
“Tsunade-sama, hasn’t arrived yet,” she told Genma. “What happened?”
He sighed. “Fight broke out in the street. Naruto slugged Kakashi by all accounts over Sakura, and Hinata seems to be involved somehow, so I brought them all in because there seems to be some nasty accusations flying around that the Hokage herself will probably want to address. Although, I don’t know why she’s here,” he said, nodding to Ino.
Ino switched her glare from Kakashi to Genma. “Moral support,” she said righteously, patting Sakura’s back.
Genma shrugged. “Any idea when the Wicked Witch will arrive?”
“Soon,” Shizune said faintly, looking at Hinata who couldn’t meet her eye.
“I feel ill,” Sakura said faintly from her chair, looking distinctly gray. “I think I’m going to throw up.”
“Someone get a bucket!” Ino ordered.
Kakashi was on his feet in a moment, moving towards the queasy girl. The same instant, Naruto and Ino were on theirs, moving to block him.
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough, Kakashi-sensei?” Ino growled at him.
“If you lay a hand on her, I’ll rip it off!” Naruto barked.
“Stop it!” Sakura pleaded. “Both of you!”
“If you’re both so eager to help her,” Kakashi said evenly. “Why don’t you actually help her?”
Ino turned her back on him and crouched before Sakura, urging the other girl to bend over as she rubbed her back comfortingly. “Are you ok, Forehead?”
“It’s just nerves,” Sakura groaned.
“It better be,” Naruto said, glaring hotly at Kakashi who merely raised an eyebrow.
Sakura’s head snapped up. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded.
But Naruto only addressed Kakashi. “If she’s pregnant-”
“You-!”
“Who’s pregnant?”
The quiet voice came from the door, and the room fell silent again as all heads turned to see Tsunade hanging in the doorway, her coat on inside out and a pair of dark shades covering her eyes. From the state of her hair and he appalling posture, it was clear she was suffering a hangover from hell.
“Why are there so many people in my office this time in the morning?” Tsunade croaked sullenly. “Can’t a Hokage have a moment’s peace around here?”
The room erupted in sound again.
“Old lady - I didn’t do anything wrong - it was Kakashi-”
“Naruto attacked Kakashi, shishou-”
“For a good reason!”
“Do you ever shut up?!”
“I’m s-so sorry, Sakura-san, I didn’t mean for this to happen-”
“This is between Forehead and the Old Pervert. Why the hell is she here anyway-”
“Don’t talk about Hinata-chan that way-”
“I have a hangover!” Tsunade ground out, making the room fall quiet again. “Genma, my office now, please. The rest of you can sit down and shut the hell up. I do not want to hear a peep out of any of you until I give you express permission to open your mouth, is that clear?”
No one said a word.
“Good,” she grunted and stomped across the waiting room. Shizune sent Genma a rattled glance as he followed the Hokage inside her office.
Sakura’s stomach continued twisting in knots the moment the door to Tsunade’s office slammed shut. Right now Genma would be giving her shishou the lowdown on the situation which was developing into a drama to rival that of her favorite soap opera. Ino continued to rub her back, acting like a supporting friend even though Sakura suspected she had only come along to get the inside scoop of what was bound to be the number one topic of dinner table conversation for the next week or more. Across the room, Kakashi had retreated to his seat, but he refused to look at her… partly because Naruto would try to punch him again if he did.
The silence was unbearable. She strained to catch anything that was being said within the office, but it seemed that the rumors of it being effectively sound-proofed were true. Not even the faintest whisper could be heard.
It had been a long time since she’d felt this kind of gut-clenching fear. Not since Naruto and Sasuke had attempted to kill each other on the hospital roof. Back then the knowledge that something had happened that could never be fixed and that their team would never be the same as a result had terrified her, and now it was happening all over again. Things would never be the same. And perhaps this time the damage done was even worse…
The door opened again and Genma sauntered out, giving Shizune a significant look. Tsunade emerged after him with a face of barely constrained thunder. She’d lost her shades and now her the dark smudges under her eyes were clearly visible, and when those eyes met Sakura’s, Sakura couldn’t help but shrink back a little.
The penetrating stare switched to Kakashi, who made the mistake of smiling. In a heartbeat she had stormed over, grabbed him by the collar and had hauled him back into her office without a word. Sakura caught only a glimpse of Kakashi’s rather worried looking face before the door slammed shut with a bang that seemed to shake the whole building.
Everyone released a breath they didn’t realized they’d been holding.
“What the hell’s going on, Sakura?” Ino whispered, gaining the courage to speak now that Kakashi was out of ear-shot. “Please tell me this is a horrible mistake.”
“It’s not a ‘horrible mistake’,” Sakura said bitterly.
“I knew you had appalling taste in men, but this is just ridiculous,” Ino said disparagingly. “I said go for an older man, but there are limits, you know. Breaking the law is one of them.”
Yelling could be heard from the office as Tsunade’s voice gained volume. Sakura glanced worriedly at the door. “I thought that room was sound-proof,” she whispered.
“It is,” Shizune said flatly.
And yet snatches of violent verbal diatribe could be heard quite clearly. Things like “responsibilities” and “certain confidences” that “cannot be violated” which “you have so kindly shat on”. Worrying bangs started punctuating each shout, until there was a bang so loud it shook the door like something heavy had been thrown against it. Sakura nearly stood up, but Ino pulled her back down.
The yelling continued, growing more audible and clear.
“You were given a position of trust and this is how you repay me?” Tsunade’s muffled shriek cut through the tense silence. “What? I don’t care if you’re bleeding - GET UP!”
The screaming was fairly unintelligible after that, and Sakura felt a moan of dread rise in her throat to think that she was probably next. “She’s going to kill him,” she whimpered.
“Good,” Naruto declared callously.
Sakura railed on him without hesitation. “Oh, look at you sitting there all smug with yourself!” she seethed. “I bet you’re happy, aren’t you?! Do you know how much trouble you’ve caused because you can’t act like an adult for even thirty seconds!”
“You should have thought about that before you went off with our teacher!” Naruto shouted back. “You’ve brought this on yourself, Sakura!”
And the horrible fact was that it was true. Because even though he was the one who had attacked Kakashi in the middle of the street, the fault made by her and Kakashi completely overshadowed anything Naruto had done. With the way Tsunade was now, no doubt she would applaud Naruto.
Angry tears stung Sakura’s eyes, but they didn’t spill. Shaking Ino off, she stood and stormed over to Naruto. Genma stepped forward, apparently worried she would try to attack him again, but she stopped of where he sat. “You think you’re so justified to blame Kakashi?” she demanded, glaring at him. “You think you were right to hit him like that and make that scene? Then why don’t you go ahead and hit me too, Naruto? Kakashi didn’t do anything I didn’t want him to do - we were both in it together as equals. If anything, I was the one who coerced him, so if you’re going to direct your anger at anyone here it better be at me.”
She waited expectantly, meeting Naruto’s glare with her own. For the first time she was close enough to see that a vicious amber had bled into his blue eyes, and his pupils were distorted. Kyuubi was there, clawing away at the surface, but Naruto was in complete control.
“Well?” she said, giving his head a jeering smack. “What are you waiting for? Hit me!”
“What the fuck’s the matter with you?!” Naruto cried, pushing her away. “Why him?! What the hell is wrong in your brain that you’d even consider him?!”
“Hey, hey, hey!” Genma intervened again when Sakura made a move to slap him. She was shuttled back to her seat where Ino held her down under the pretense of a Best Friend Hug. Sakura was too angry to protest. She simply shook with rage and muttered something explicit about hypocrites and assholes.
Suddenly the shouting in the office died with a final bang and everyone looked towards the door.
“I hope she hasn’t killed him,” Shizune fretted.
It was unsettlingly quiet. Sakura waited with baited breath, wondering if Tsunade really had killed him and whether or not Sakura should break down the door to come to his rescue. But before she could give into this impulse the door swung open, making everyone jump and Kakashi emerged with a bloody hand clutched to a gash on his brow. Sakura tried to stand and go to him, but Ino had her firmly trapped.
“Genma,” Tsunade snapped. “Escort Hatake to the hospital. Inform the nurses to be as brutal as they wish.”
Genma nodded and took Kakashi by the elbow, leading him away as if he was a prisoner. As they passed, Kakashi gave her a surreptitious thumbs up, but it did little to quash Sakura’s concern.
“Sakura,” Tsunade barked, and at once she realized that it was her turn to be beaten and interrogated. As she sloped inside, Tsunade turned to address Shizune. “Get me the Law Book.”
“The law book?” Shizune repeated, confused.
“The book with the laws in it! The big one!” Tsunade snapped.
“The Village Charter?” Shizune guessed.
“Whatever, just bring it to me now.”
The door slammed shut and Sakura looked nervously around the office. There were numerous dents in the wall that seemed to have been made by the various plant pots, pen holders and paperweights that lay littering the floor. Paper was strewn everywhere. Sakura quickly scanned Tsunade’s desk and was reassured to see that there was nothing much left to throw.
“Sit down,” Tsunade said curtly.
Sakura obeyed meekly, though she had to pick up the chair and set it right first before she could sit in it. Tsunade took her own seat, but rather than address Sakura, she took a stapler from her drawer and began fiercely stapling documents together - seemingly regardless of the order.
Was Tsunade attempting to freeze her out? Was she going to keep quiet until Sakura cracked and spilled all? She had no idea what Kakashi had said before her (if he’d managed to get a word in edgeways of all that shouting) so she had to tread carefully.
But it was Tsunade who cracked first - or more accurately it was her stapler. One of the staples split wrong and stuck in the device, and with an annoyed grunt Tsunade threw it against the door, missing Sakura’s ear by a few inches. Then she put her head in her hands and pressed the heel of her palms against her eyes.
“Why have you done this to me, Sakura?” she said weakly. “Do you have any idea what position you have put me in?”
Sakura didn’t know what else to say but, “I’m sorry.”
It was the wrong thing, incidentally. “Sorry is not good enough!” Tsunade snapped. “You’re my apprentice! I trained you to be smart and intelligent and rational, and I am left staggered at how anyone under my tutelage could have done something so unbelievably stupid! I’m disappointed in you.”
Sakura looked at the floor, feeling nothing short of horrible in every sense.
Tsunade forced herself to calm. “Well, we might as well get to the point,” she said, with the manner of someone resigning themselves to a very unpleasant task. “Are you pregnant?”
Sakura felt a cold shiver of humiliation run through her bones. “No, shishou,” she said quietly.
“Are you sure?”
“Very sure, shishou,” she said again, and the annoyance she felt at so many people questioning her competence at managing her own body leaked into her tone. “My birth control is up to date. I’ve never had any accidents before, I don’t see why I would start now.”
“Don’t take that tone with me, Sakura. I have to be sure.”
“Sorry, shishou. I understand.”
“Did he groom you?” Tsunade asked next.
Sakura frowned, not understanding. There was that time he stoked his fingers through her hair after they lay basking in the aftermath of a fantastic bout of sex, but that didn’t seem to be very relevant. “I’m not sure what you mean, shishou…”
“What I mean is, did he coerce you in any way?” Tsunade demanded, leaning forward intently. “You’ve been his student since you were twelve. Has there been any inappropriate sexual advances during this time? Touching? Fondling? Comments? Anything that would-”
“No!” Sakura cried, faintly alarmed. “Kakashi wouldn’t do that! Our relationship only started two weeks ago. Before that there was nothing, I swear. He never touched me. He barely paid much attention to me at all. He wouldn’t… he’s not… how could you think that of him?”
“Because you realize that everyone will think this of him now?”
Sakura wilted. “I was the one who went to him, shishou. Kakashi didn’t force me into anything.”
“That’s interesting,” Tsunade said, reclining back in her seat. “On the one hand there’s him taking full responsibility, and on the other here’s you doing exactly the same.”
“He’s trying to protect me,” Sakura said quietly. “But it wasn’t him, it was me. It was my idea, and he only went along with it because he felt sorry for me.”
“So you instigated the relationship?”
“Yes.”
“For the purpose of gaining extra credits for your review, perhaps?”
Sakura closed her eyes and clenched her fist. “No. It was coincidence. And Kakashi isn’t the type of person to let personal relationships cloud his professional judgment.”
“Apparently not. He failed you, as I seem to recall.”
Sakura nodded.
“You understand that his decision is now defunct?” Tsunade asked. “I’ll have to arrange for another examiner to review you.”
“I don’t care,” Sakura said shaking her head. “Just, please, shishou… tell me how much trouble we’re in.”
Tsunade raised an eyebrow at her. “How much trouble do you think you’re in?” When Sakura didn’t answer she went on. “Obviously you assumed there would be some trouble or you wouldn’t have felt the need for such secrecy.”
Sakura stared at her. “You won’t… execute Kakashi… will you?”
Tsunade leaned forward, eyes narrowed. “I remain undecided on that one.”
“Shizune-san said that the last man to sleep with his student was given an execution order.”
“Yes. However, the execution order had very little to do with the fact he seduced his student and more to do with the fact he was habitually kidnapping and murdering a significant portion of our shinobi force for his genetic experimentations.”
Sakura relaxed a little.
“The penalties for statutory rape are still, nevertheless, high,” Tsunade went on.
“But I’m of age-”
“Yes, but the trust of student and teacher is a sacred one safe-guarded by the law itself. If it has been violated, there will be consequences.”
There came a knock at the door. “Come in!” Tsunade shouted impatiently.
Shizune scurried into the room with a very large, very old book pressed against her chest. As she placed it on the desk, Tsunade slid on a pair of reading glasses and swiftly began searching through the book.
“The law regarding fraternization between teachers and students is an old one, Sakura,” Tsunade said as she scoured the pages. “It hasn’t been updated since it was first written, which was around the time the village was first founded. I was planning to go through this book and quietly abolish all these old, silly little laws that rarely needed enforcing anymore. I had no idea I needed to hurry on your account.”
Sakura fiddled anxiously with the hem of her skirt as Tsunade carefully poured over the old charter, running her finger down the pages in search of the relevant statute. She paused once, and Sakura’s heart flew into her throat. “Apparently it’s illegal to set fire to monkey for the purpose of clearing out the hot springs,” Tsunade read aloud. “Some of the things in here are ridiculous.”
She flipped forward a few more pages before her finger came to a stop and both she and Shizune leaned in close to read one particular passage. After a moment, they both leant back and Tsunade slammed the book shut in an eruption of dust, before settling to stare at Sakura mutely across the desk.
“So…?” Sakura edged.
“The law is quite clear on this subject,” Tsunade said, almost serenely. “Teachers who take advantage of their students are to be imprisoned and/or executed depending upon the whim of the student’s father.”
Sakura covered her mouth, not trusting herself not to cry out.
“At least, that is the action to be taken in the case of underage students,” Tsunade continued. “You’ll probably be glad to hear that fraternizing involve of-age students is slightly less harsh. But it all hangs on one factor.”
“What factor?” Sakura asked worriedly.
Tsunade closed her eyes to ruminate for a few moments, before opening them again to regard Sakura with tired, hooded eyes. “Whether or not the two of you are in love.”
“I don’t understand,” Sakura said hesitantly.
“It’s quite simple.” Tsunade folded her arms under her generous chest. “The severity of your punishment hangs on whether or not you are genuinely in love with each other. So what is your answer, Sakura?”
Sakura didn’t have one. How could something so arbitrary of love affect the law? Was her teacher saying that the law was more lenient on those who had found real love than those who were simply fooling around? But exactly which category did she and Kakashi fit into? A week ago she would have been quite clear - they meant nothing to each other than a fun roll around between the sheets, satisfying biological urges. But now? Now there was a dangerous feeling in her chest that didn’t belong to someone who was simply fooling around with their teacher.
Although the question was, did Kakashi feel it too? And even if they were both victims to it, was it really something as deep and profound as ‘love’?
Sakura opened her mouth the hedge an answer, but Tsunade interrupted. “Please bear in mind, Sakura,” she said with a humorless smile, “that I already asked this question of Kakashi, and I’ll be interested to hear how your answer compares with his.”
Desperately, Sakura looked to Shizune for some indication of what to say, but Shizune’s face was tense and unreadable as she stared back at Sakura. This felt like a trap. If Kakashi had been asked this question he would have been compelled to reply honestly. But when he wouldn’t even acknowledge the state of their relationship to Sakura, how likely was it he would have done so to Tsunade?
Resigned, Sakura bowed her head. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “We aren’t serious. It was just a fling and nothing more. We’re not in love.”
When she dared to look back up at her master, Tsunade’s cutting smile had widened. “How interesting,” she murmured. “You may go.”
Shaken, Sakura stayed frozen to the spot. “What about the punishments?”
“They will be handled later, and you’ll be informed about my decision before tonight. You may go.”
Sakura slowly rose to her feet. Shizune was there to open the door for her and once more she found herself in the waiting room, looking into searching, anxious faces. “What’s going to happen?” Ino asked her quickly.
Before Sakura could say that she didn’t know, Tsunade appeared behind her.
“Naruto,” she said, addressing the peevish boy. “I’m disappointed in you. The moment you learnt of this matter you should have come straight to me rather than take things into your own hands. There is no excuse for attacking your own team leader on a civilian street - no, don’t interrupt me. I’ll decide on an appropriate punishment for you later as well.”
She turned on Hinata who visibly flinched. “And you, Hinata. I’m surprised at you. Of all people here you had least reason to withhold information, but instead you chose to go straight to Naruto who you know perfectly well would have reacted badly. Were you trying to cause trouble?”
Hinata blanched, upset. “N-No, I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t tell Naruto-kun. H-He kept asking questions and I told him to stop, and when we were walking past the red lantern h-he saw Kakashi with Sakura and he joked that that they were together. I-I’m so sorry. H-He saw Kakashi-sensei touch Sakura-san and then he looked at me and he just knew… I’m s-so, so sorry. But I wasn’t trying to cause trouble, I promise!”
Tsunade frowned. “You still knew of their affair, but you didn’t inform me. Withholding this kind of information is still a punishable offence, Hinata.”
Sakura noticed the way Hinata’s eyes flicked to Shizune, but she simply nodded and hung her head.
“No, Tsunade-sama,” Shizune said quietly, stepping forward. “Please don’t punish Hinata too harshly. I asked her not to tell anyone about Kakashi and Sakura. I am technically her superior, so she was only acting under my orders.”
Surprised, Tsunade turned on her. “You knew?” she demanded. “And you didn’t tell me?”
Shizune nodded unhappily.
Tsunade nearly laughed. “I swear you all do this to annoy me,” she sighed to the ceiling. “Please, by all means, tell me who told you about this affair. Is there anyone else I need to add to this list of punishments?”
“No one told me,” Shizune admitted. “I just found out.”
“How?” Sakura asked weakly.
Shizune cast her a guilty look and pulled something from her long sleeves. “Kakashi dropped these. You really shouldn’t write your name in your underwear, Sakura… the ink can run in the wash if you’re not careful.”
She passed the pair of dainty panties to Sakura who could only stare at them in confusion. Tsunade had a hand pressed over her face again, and Naruto looked apoplectic.
“You,” Tsunade pointed to Ino who froze. “What are you doing here? What exactly do you need to be punished for?”
“I-I’m only here for moral support, Hokage-sama.”
Tsunade’s arm dropped. “Fine. You’re all free to go, and I recommend that you get lost quickly before I do something I regret.”
“You’re a fucking idiot, you know?”
“I know.”
“You’re lucky she didn’t neuter you right there on the spot.”
“She tried to.”
Genma shook his head and whistled through his teeth as he leaned in close to examine the nurse’s progress with Kakashi’s head wound. The young woman was busily applying butterfly stitches to the long gash. “I count nine stitches and up,” he said. “Not worth it, Hatake.”
If Kakashi hadn’t had his eyes closed, he would have rolled them.
“You could be executed for this, you know.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Kakashi said wearily. “There’s only two things you can be executed for in Konoha these days - treason and piracy. Neither of which I have committed to my knowledge. All I did was sleep with another adult who happens to be on the same team as me.”
“That’s not how other people are going to see it, Hatake,” Genma pointed out. “People hear that a teacher took a student to bed and they’ll assume you’ve taken advantage of her in some way. And you’re a weird recluse… it wouldn’t surprise me if they thought the very worst.”
The nurse attending Kakashi’s head paused. “Aren’t you Haruno Sakura’s teacher?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said flatly.
“Ah. I like Haruno-san,” she said, and then resumed her work, although this time pressing the adhesive strips to his wound with much more needless pressure. He winced, but had to endure.
“How old is she?” Genma asked. “Sixteen… seventeen?”
“Eighteen,” Kakashi replied tersely.
Once again Genma shook his head in disbelief. “What are you doing with a girl that age?” he asked, bewildered. “Is this some midlife crisis you’re going through? You have to be careful, Hatake. You know what it’s like to be eighteen… you fall in love at the drop of the hat. Is that really something you need to be tangling with?”
Kakashi studiously ignored him.
“Oi,” Genma bent down to eye-level with him. “You two aren’t in love are you?”
Kakashi flicked an impassive glance his way. “The Godaime asked that very same question.”
“And?” Genma prompted. “What did you say?”
“I told the truth.”
“Which is?”
“None of your business.”
Genma sighed and straightened. “I have to say, for once I don’t envy you that much. Whatever punishment you’re given… I think it’s safe to say you’re fucked.”
“Thanks.”
“And good luck looking your teammates in the eye again.”
“…right… thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” Genma clapped him on the shoulder. “Well, I’m sure there are at least a handful of people who haven’t heard the news by now. I can’t let Anko have all the fun, so I’m off to go find them. I’ll see you around, Hatake.”
Kakashi heaved a small sigh and closed his eyes again, letting the nurse continue with her brutal prodding and poking. Eventually she finished and stepped back to admire her handiwork. “Perfect,” she said with menacing cheer. “You can go now.”
“Don’t I get a lollipop?”
He made that half-hearted joke virtually every time a hospital visit came to an end, whether it be for a flu jab, a broken leg, or a coma. Normally the nurses and medics laughed it off, but the look this nurse gave him made him wonder if he’d said something obscenely inappropriate. She looked at him as if he’d demanded oral sex.
People had always thought of him as a pervert. But now it was clear they thought of him as a pervert.
“You can go now,” she said frostily, turning her back on him.
“Right,” he said, cowed.
It was best just to get out of there and go home. His uniform was covered in blood (because head wounds always bled disproportionately to their seriousness) so his first plan was to get changed. Then he would…
Actually he didn’t really know what he would do after that. He’d been warning himself since the night Sakura had turned up on his doorstep soaking wet that the consequences would be dire should they have been found out. But his major defense against this had simply been to make sure no one would find out; it had been his plan A.
There was no plan B.
“Looks like you’ll have to ride this one out,” he murmured to himself as he made his way down the long sterile corridors, ignoring the way eyes darted away from him the moment they caught sight of him. He could feel them staring at his back, though, thinking he couldn’t tell. But he just mentally shrugged and left the building without fuss.
It was already midday outside. The streets were thick with people on their lunch break, and in a way this was a small blessing because Kakashi could blend more easily. A few eyes lingered on him as he made his way home, but it was still early. It would be at least six more hours before the gossip spread to all corners of the village, and until then it was still possible to traverse the streets without every other person glaring at him.
But it wasn’t a completely hassle free journey. As he turned down a residential avenue someone recognized him from across the street and shouted out. “What’s the matter, Hatake? Can’t find a willing grown up so you’ve resorted to dipping your prick in your own kids?”
This was followed by a rowdy round of laughter and guffaws, and Kakashi glanced over with only mild curiosity to see a small gang of young jonin congratulating themselves. Though they seemed to know him, he hadn’t a clue who any of them were, so he shook his head and continued on his way. Heckling was nothing new to him, and over the years he’d learnt to ignore it.
But how would Sakura cope?
At least his apartment door hadn’t been egged yet. Kakashi let himself inside his own home and quickly slung his uniform in a heap beside the bed before pulling on a clean black vest and training pants. He spent a few minutes examining his new cut in the mirror, noticing that the first few strips had been laid with precision and care while the last few (coincidentally laid after he’d mentioned Sakura’s name to the nurse) were haphazard and all over the place.
Tsunade’s temper was almost as legendary as her rotten gambling skills. It didn’t surprise him that she’d resorted to throwing things at him so quickly, because he knew that she had a special interest in Sakura and had grown fond of the girl over the years. It was only natural that she was protective of her own apprentice and in many ways she was more Sakura’s teacher than he was.
And the thing about the Hokage was that when she started throwing things, it wasn’t wise to dodge; it only made her angrier, as Kakashi had discovered. Quite quickly he’d learnt how difficult it was to explain and defend your position when a volcanic woman was hurling half the objects in her office at you, and there were only so many things you could dodge. So between getting hit in the head with a plant pot and being nailed in the gonads by a pair of sharp scissors… Kakashi felt he’d made the right choice.
He was clumsily attempting to straight the stitches on his brow when he caught sight of movement in the mirror behind him. Without turning around he watched Sakura quietly slip in through the window and onto his bed. She looked tense.
“I see you escaped unscathed,” he commented, turning his attention back to his stitches.
Sakura walked up behind him, and the next thing he knew, she’d banged his head against the mirror.
“Ow.” He was beginning to feel quite abused today.
“You idiot!” she ground out, shaking a pair of panties at him angrily. “You stole my underwear!”
He glanced at the panties and his eyebrows shot up. “Oh! I was wondering where those went. I thought I’d dropped them during the mission,” he said, taking the panties to admire them.
Sakura snatched them back. “You dropped them in the hospital,” she said hotly. “Shizune found them and that’s why everyone knows now.”
“So Shizune told everyone?” he asked, frowning. That didn’t sound like something Shizune would do.
“No, she told Hinata who can’t stand up to Naruto to save her life,” Sakura sighed, chewing her lip. “Tsunade-shishou says that she’ll decide the punishments later today. But everyone knows, Kakashi. Everyone’s looking at me funny and I can hear people laughing behind my back.”
She looked like she might start crying at any moment, so Kakashi reached out to touch her shoulder compassionately and let her fall against his chest. Her breathing was shaky, but she seemed to be trying hard not to cry… she just needed a moment to compose herself. In the mirror, Kakashi caught sight of their reflection. Did they look mismatched? Did they fit? Kakashi couldn’t tell anymore. He’d lost the ability to distinguish. All he saw was a short, pink-haired girl tucked under the chin of a taller white-haired man.
“Naruto hates me,” she whispered. “He’s never looked at me like he did today. I feel like I’ve betrayed him… but I’m so angry at him too! How could he do that in front of everyone?! It’s like he wanted to humiliate us!”
“Naruto isn’t so objective, Sakura,” he said softly. “He was hurt. He just confronted what he saw… I doubt he realized what would happen. He probably doesn’t even know it was against the rules.”
“Why are you defending him?” Sakura asked, leaning back to scowl at him. “He hit you.”
“He hurt me,” he corrected, “because we’ve hurt him. My face might be bruised for a week, but his feelings will probably carry this hurt for a lot longer.”
She sagged against him again. “I’m scared,” she muttered.
“So am I,” he said.
“No, you’re not,” she groaned. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“Did it work?”
“No…”
With a soft smile he took her head in his hands and lifted her face to receive a kiss. She was despondent at first, but then she suddenly pulled away and moved to sit on the bed, her back turned to him. “I’m not in the mood,” she said unhappily. “I can’t even look at you, I feel so guilty. If anyone knew I was here, I think they’d be quite upset.”
He moved to sit on the bed beside her. “You should probably go then,” he suggested.
“But there’s no where else to go,” she said. “And I mean it. Everywhere I go… everyone’s going to know and they’re going to sit there and judge me. You’re the only one who will smile at me today.”
She glanced back at him and promptly burst out laughing. Perhaps because Kakashi at that moment was contriving to glare and pout at her? She fell sideways, her head landing in his lap and gradually her laughter faded. “I wish time would stop,” she said, her fingers curling in the fabric of his pants. “I don’t want to face what comes next.”
He stared back at his reflection in the mirror opposite, watching his fingers brush through her hair, seemingly of their own accord. “You can’t stop time, Sakura. We have to be brave.”
“It would be easier to stop time,” she mumbled.
She didn’t say anything after that. Her eyes slid shut and after a while he was convinced she’d fallen asleep. His leg was falling asleep, but he didn’t have the heart to wake her and set her aside… instead he carried on smoothing her hair and watching that man in the mirror who he barely recognized anymore.
A sweet chirping sounded from the open window. He glanced over distractedly and saw two small birds hopping along his windowsill and fluttering their wings and swiveling their heads in jerky motions.
“Sakura.” He squeezed her shoulder and she stirred slowly. “We’re being summoned.”
“Naruto-kun… are you mad at me?”
Naruto wasn’t sure. It wasn’t her fault that two of his closest friends had been sleeping with each other behind his back, but at the same time he felt like blaming everyone involved.
“You knew, Hinata-chan,” he accused, but managed to keep most of the anger out of his tone. For some reason he couldn’t shout at this girl. It seemed cruel. “Why didn’t you say something?”
She flinched as if he’d shouted anyway. “I’m sorry, Naruto-kun…”
They rounded the corner of the Hokage tower and Naruto leapt over the fence of the academy grounds, intending to take a short cut. After a moment of hesitation, Hinata followed.
“How could they do this?” he raged, more to himself. He kicked the small carousel he’d used to play on as a child (usually alone) and spent it spinning. It didn’t alleviate his anger as much as he’d hoped. “It’s sick! It’s wrong! It’s like incest or something!”
Hinata wrung her hands behind him. “B-But they’re not related.”
“My team is like my family, Hinata-chan,” he explained. “Kakashi-sensei is like a big brother. And Sakura is like my sister - no! - my cousin. Removed a few times. Because it’s weird to like your sister, right? Right…”
“I understand,” she said quietly. “I see my team as like a second family sometimes.”
Naruto shook his head. “It’s the only family I’ve got…”
Hinata looked at him, a fleeting hint of surprise in her face. “I think I understand what you mean,” she said.
With a defeated sigh, Naruto slumped down to sit on the carousel, clinging to the bars on either side of him. “He knew I liked her,” he said in a low voice. “I told him often enough. But she was supposed to be in love with Sasuke-bastard! I could cope with that… but now she’s gone after Kakashi-sensei too? It’s like she’ll have anyone but me. What’s so bad about me that she’d rather go for an old man?”
Hinata sank down next to him. “I don’t th-think there’s anything wrong with you,” she said quickly. “Sasuke-kun and Kakashi-sensei are very similar when you think about it… and maybe that’s the type of guy Sakura-san likes. Th-There are loads of girls who would like you. I bet th-there’s loads of girls who would die for the chance to be even noticed by you.”
“Oh yeah?” Naruto said glumly. “Name one.”
Hinata seemed to have lost her voice at that point. Naruto took it to mean that she couldn’t think of anyone, but that didn’t surprise him. “Forget it, Hinata-chan,” he mumbled. “There’s nothing I can do about it now. Everything’s gone wrong…”
“I didn’t want to keep you in the dark, Naruto-kun,” she whispered. “But I didn’t want to hurt you, and I didn’t want to betray Sakura-san either. I don’t agree with what she’s doing, but… she seemed happy.”
Naruto looked at her. “Happy,” he repeated impassively. “What if he’s forcing himself on her?”
Hinata looked uncertain for a moment. “Do you think Kakashi-sensei could do that?”
“I guess not…”
He pressed his face into his hands and wished he could black out his own memory. It was burned into his brain. Following Hinata’s gaze across the street to the restaurant to where Kakashi and Sakura were sitting, making that joke to Hinata that Kakashi was really her secret man… seeing that look of horrified guilt cross her face and then the way Kakashi’s hand slid onto Sakura’s leg in the way no teacher should ever touch a student… and…
It had crossed his mind. Of course it had, it was only natural. The moment he’d heard that rumor about the jonin teacher and the student, he’d immediately wondered if it might possibly be referring to Kakashi. But he’d dismissed it as impossible. Though at the back of his mind it had never truly left him, and all those funny looks the two had been giving each other and the way they had sat so close on the picnic bench yesterday… it all made sense now.
“Do you think she’s happy?” Naruto asked quietly.
Hinata deliberated. “If she was… you made her very unhappy, Naruto-kun.”
That was true. He felt guilty for losing his temper like that, but at the same time the anger and injustice still cut deep. The feeling of betrayal was making it hard to forgive.
Cool fingers touched the back of his hand and he blinked in surprise to see that Hinata had placed her hand over his on the bar. Oddly, her fingers were shaking, but then Hinata had always been a bit weird…
“I-I like you, Naruto-kun,” she whispered, slowly turning red. “I really do.”
He stared at her, and then smiled. “I like you too, Hinata-chan!” he said cheerfully.
Her eyes widened almost hopefully, but then she quietly sagged. “Right…”
What a strange girl. Naruto might have asked if there was something wrong with what he said, but at that moment a large song thrush landed at their feet. It warbled a short song, flicked its wings twice and then flitted off into the trees. Naruto wrinkled his nose and looked up at the Hokage’s tower looming over them.
“She must have decided already,” he sighed. “We should go.”
“Ah, what a bunch of cheerful looking souls you all are,” Tsunade greeted them dryly as they filed in through the door and arranged themselves in a line before her desk.
Sakura glanced across at Naruto who was staring obnoxiously out of the window as if he would rather be somewhere down there than up here in this room with her and Kakashi. Hinata and Shizune stood between them, effectively keeping them separate in case any more fisticuffs broke out.
“You all know why you’re here,” Tsunade said, getting straight down to business. “It pains me to have to do this, but there really is no way around it. I hope you’ll understand.
“First all, Naruto,” she said looking to the boy at the end of the line. “A shinobi needs to keep a controlled reign on his emotions at all times. Losing your head and attacking your team leader is unacceptable. I’d like you to apologize to Kakashi.”
Naruto shifted on his feet, looking constipated. After a moment he turned his head vaguely in Kakashi’s direction and muttered something that could have been ‘sorry’. Kakashi cleared his throat and nodded, equally uncomfortable. Sakura rolled her eyes.
“Shizune and Hinata,” Tsunade turned to address them, “You both withheld information from your Hokage. I understand that you did so thinking it was in the best interests of your friends, and I admire your loyalty… but there is a time and a place to keep secrets and this was not it. You’re both suspended from work for two weeks, no pay.”
Shizune’s chin wobbled a little bit, but she nodded her acceptance while Hinata looked like she couldn’t believe her luck. Perhaps she had been expecting much worse?
Sakura was next in line and Tsunade’s amber gaze landed on with the kind of expression that was hard to tell if she was smiling or not. “Your apprenticeship with me ends today, Sakura,” she said softly. “I can’t teach you anymore. I’m sorry.”
Sakura’s breath left her like it had been pulled out of her, “Shishou, please-”
“This isn’t open to debate, Haruno,” Tsunade interrupted. “From now on you address me as Hokage-sama.”
Her mother could have called now and told her she wanted nothing more to do with Sakura, and her father could have walked in and told her straight to her face that he didn’t love her as much as he did his new daughter, and it wouldn’t hurt nearly so much as it hurt to be disowned by Tsunade. Sakura swallowed hard and lowered her eyes to the floor, more to hide the film of tears that threatened to fall. “Yes, Hokage-sama,” she rasped.
“And Kakashi,” Tsunade turned on him. “How is your head?”
“Sore…”
“Good,” she replied contritely. “I’m hereby demoting you to chunin, Hatake Kakashi. You will not have another chance for promotion for the next ten years, and you will never teach again as long as you live.”
Beside her, Kakashi went very still. Sakura glanced at him in shock, wondering how he must be taking this. What little was visible of his face was lax with astonishment.
“Team Kakashi is now officially disbanded,” Tsunade went on. “Tatami Iwashi recently transferred into ANBU so there is an opening on Team Genma. Kakashi, you will be taking this vacancy and working under Genma with Shizune and Raidou. Tenzou was originally going to have this position as he handed me his resignation last week, but under the circumstances I think it’s more prudent that he form his own new team with the remaining members of Team Kakashi, now named Team Tenzou.”
“What?” Sakura breathed.
“Wait,” Naruto said, unfolding his arms. “How is this fair?”
“This is the most leniency I can grant you,” Tsunade said testily. “Would you rather I throw him in prison?”
Naruto struggled for words. “But you’re breaking up our team!”
Tsunade threw up her hands. “I have no choice!” Her angry eyes flashed on Sakura and Kakashi again. “Do you two even realize what kind of disgrace you are in? You have committed a taboo! I would throw the book at you entirely but what you both face from this point on will be more devastating and cruel than anything I can give you. You will suffer enough without any help from me.”
Sakura couldn’t help it. Fear clenched hard around her heart and her hand moved of its own accord, seeking out Kakashi’s. His warm fingers closed around her trembling ones, safe-guarding them and making her feel fractionally less terrified. If he was here with her she could face it. Alone she would crumble.
“I hope you’re all very pleased with what you’ve accomplished with your actions today,” Tsunade drawled, the disappointment stinging them all. “And I hope to god that this relationship is worth the sacrifice of your team. Now get out of my sight.”
Naruto tried to protest. “But-”
“Get! Out!”
She was in the mood to throw things again. They had no choice but to file out, shell-shocked and devastated. It felt a little unreal, Sakura reflected, to think that Team Kakashi was gone and Kakashi was a chunin and she was no longer the apprentice of the Hokage. It would sink in soon, but for now they were just words that danced before her like a prophecy that would soon come true… something that spelled doom whichever way you looked at it.
She glanced at Naruto who looked unusually blank. Like a kick in the guts, self-loathing struck her. What had she done? This team was his life… his family… and she’d destroyed it.
“Naruto…” She reached out to touch his arm, but he flinched away. The look he gave her said it all, and he quickly turned and walked out of the waiting room. Sakura wondered if he would ever speak to her again. Shizune passed her, giving her a sideways glance and a disappointed sigh. Hinata avoided looking at her entirely.
Kakashi’s hand still held hers. “Let’s go home,” he said quietly.
Disgraceful. Shameful. Revolting. Disgusting. These were all whispers Sakura caught as she followed Kakashi’s lead home. People openly stared, some bothering to hold their whispers until they had passed but some uttered their repulsion with almost deliberate volume. How dare they, she heard, together like this in broad daylight? They should be ashamed.
And she was. Shame pressed around her like a suffocating blanket to the point where she even tried to shake her hand out of Kakashi’s to keep them from staring at their joined hands. But Kakashi wouldn’t let her. Wordlessly he held onto her until they arrived at his apartment where he let her fall on his sofa before disappearing into another room. Sakura pressed her face against the cushions and willed herself not to cry. Not in front of Kakashi. Not when he was so calm about it.
He returned a moment later and sat down next to her, pulling her upright and sliding a lightweight box onto her lap. She looked down and snorted with laughter despite herself. “Am I that obvious?” she said shakily, taking one of the tissues.
“I suspected,” he said quietly.
“Well, I’d hate to disappoint,” she squeaked, and pressed the tissue to her face as she hunched over and began to shake with stifled sobs. Kakashi’s hand warmed her back, letting her know she wasn’t alone. “I’m sorry,” she gasped, “y-you got demoted because of me.”
“And you lost your apprenticeship because of me,” he said quietly. “I think we’ve sustained equal losses here.”
“But the team!” she cried. “It’s not Team Kakashi without Kakashi in it! Naruto will blame me for losing you! He hates me - you saw the way he looked at me!” She sniffed and closed her eyes. “Everyone hates me. They’re all whispering… I can still hear it…”
“It won’t be easy, Sakura-”
“Understatement!”
“But things will get better,” he said. “I promise.”
“You promised that before,” she pointed out warily. “And right after that, everything got a lot worse.”
“Yes, but it did get better eventually. Just give it time. Give them time.”
“I guess,” she whispered sadly.
“And I suppose, failing that, we could always defect to another village.”
He probably meant it as a joke, but Sakura locked it away in the back of her mind as the extreme back-up plan. She turned and leant against his side, enjoying the way his arm wrapped around her automatically. “I feel guilty for even being here,” she confided in him softly. “Maybe I should go home?”
“Why feel guilty? The damage has been done,” he said, not without a small trace of bitterness. “We’ve paid for this, we might as well enjoy it.”
Sakura wondered if they would get their money’s worth though. Knowing Kakashi’s track record, he was probably overdue to dump her and pick up the next girl that managed to intrigue him. She warned herself to keep a hard heart. In her experience, men hit the deck and made a run for it when things got rough, and though she liked to think Kakashi was better than most men, she refused to keep any illusions that he was perfect.
She wouldn’t blame him if after a while it dawned on him that she hadn’t been worth the loss of his job and reputation, because right now she was thinking exactly the same. Why had he bothered with her at all? As far as she knew, she hadn’t been worth this much trouble. Not to anyone to whom she was just a casual fling and another notch in the bedpost.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered again.
“It’s not your fault,” he murmured back, his head leaning against hers.
“I think it is,” she said, even more quietly. “In the office, Tsunade-shishou asked me whether or not we were in love. She said our punishments depended on my answer… and I think I gave the wrong one.”
“What did you say?” he asked, suddenly attentive.
“I told the truth,” she said helplessly. “We’re not in love. But maybe I should have lied if it meant you kept your job…”
He was silent for a long time, and in the pause she heard the hum of conversation and traffic on the street below. It made her wonder exactly how she was going to face going out there again.
“Tsunade asked me the same question,” he said after a moment. “After she stopped throwing things at me, I mean.”
“And how did you reply?”
“I also told the truth,” he said vaguely. “But it doesn’t really matter now.”
“I guess not…”
Yet there was no shaking the overwhelming sense of loss now. She closed her eyes and listened to Kakashi’s breathing as she felt the steady thump of his heart beneath her hand on his chest. Did he feel it too? These turbulent emotions pumping through the blood? The fear that clenched like a vice around the stomach? The regret so sharp in made the chest hurt?