Oh yeah!
guess what people, as of Friday, october 28th at 11pm I swore in and am now a representative of the United States Navy, I signed my contract, five active years as an SK in the Navy with 4,000$ signing bonus sweetness! I am so excited well for all of you that maybe wondering my date to leave is August 8th 2006 at 600 hours where I will go train in Meridian Mississippi or whatever. It's going to be sweet ass, I cant wait to get out of here. You know, i forget soemtimes that other people can read my journal, felicia seen my last entry and kinda was upset about it, i blow some steam from time to time, but i never do anything without carfully overseeing the whole situation. Were good together right now, nothings going wrong, but i do admit the sparks arnt exactly blinding, its a slow pace, but its good, its nice, i feel like i have been with her for a while, and I like this pace, just dating and talking and cuddling at times... its really... comforting. I feel kinda weird saying this but i feel like I dont even want to have sex sometimes... which is big for me cause usally im all over the idea... but I dont know, im kinda busey latley, and i dont really feel like it anymore i dont know.... I dont ever want to be a slut... and the next time I have sex with somone I want it to be with somone I know is going to be there for me and wait there for me... felicia is sweet i love spending time with her, but i dont know yet, probably wont know yet for a long time.... i hate to admit that I still have a broken heart... alex sent me a box of our pictures and notes he and i wrote back and fourth... and i dont know what he wants me to do with them... im gonna send them back with a few other things i have of his... if he dosent want them he can destroy them... I dont need to carry through with doing that... I kept one or two pictures of him, ones before all the drama happend.... when i could still smell his sent and still felt warm when he smiled... when i held him and felt trembling in my heart... when i kissed him and knew he would always be there... sometimes i think he dose this to me on purpose... he knows just how to piss me off.... cut me off completley.... i wanted him to do it like this... but ....im so upset... I wonder when the thoughts go away.... i wonder when the pain fade... i wonder if felicia can really help me through this... I know i cant take alex back even if he wanted back... but i just miss it all so much.... well anyway, lol, why am i crying i just signed a contract that ensured my dreams, i just got another raise at me job, i am dating one of the most beautiful people I can imagine... but it still hurts.. and I wish it would stop.