To write to be
I was pondering this morning, why I fell so harshly out of my world of writing. Writing usually comes from inspiration or anguish, in my experience.
I have been busy, busy conversing with people I love, people I enjoy sharing company with and stealing those heart-felt moments they only manifest in romance novels and sappy films.
For so long I was 'de-attached' and removed from feeling. To feel, to love, to be absorbed by... and enthralled with. Is this what is it like be 'anti-be'?
I am not planning a trip back to numbness island again... and I hope I won't find myself there any time soon.
It is re-balance and refocus time. I spent this whole weekend loving, and being so close emotionally to my other, that it was absolutely wonderful.
Admittedly, I have felt inadequate at work recently, and I have had internal mental struggles as well, trying to refocus my attention to my family, and getting the 'opposite of help'. Hence things feel slightly out of control. Control being an illusion, things are never in control, but rather, I feel disorganized.
Last week was slow, and I am hoping this week will grant me the opportunity to put a good foot forth, and keep myself occupied.
The good thing is at the end of the day I can return to a sense of normalcy, and comfort. The sense of home, and restful nights... mostly because every day, the ones I look forward to being in the company of, are stead-fast.
This is good staying in touch of caring. I can only hope for these moments every day, they are very rewarding.
I do think though, that my lack of motivation to write in the genre of days of old, is because I love... I feel and I am not in dis-accord of my senses. Things appear to make sense. Maybe it's time for a writing career change. I'm not seeking any longer. I have found what I am looking for, and it's everything I hoped it could be.
I have been busy, busy conversing with people I love, people I enjoy sharing company with and stealing those heart-felt moments they only manifest in romance novels and sappy films.
For so long I was 'de-attached' and removed from feeling. To feel, to love, to be absorbed by... and enthralled with. Is this what is it like be 'anti-be'?
I am not planning a trip back to numbness island again... and I hope I won't find myself there any time soon.
It is re-balance and refocus time. I spent this whole weekend loving, and being so close emotionally to my other, that it was absolutely wonderful.
Admittedly, I have felt inadequate at work recently, and I have had internal mental struggles as well, trying to refocus my attention to my family, and getting the 'opposite of help'. Hence things feel slightly out of control. Control being an illusion, things are never in control, but rather, I feel disorganized.
Last week was slow, and I am hoping this week will grant me the opportunity to put a good foot forth, and keep myself occupied.
The good thing is at the end of the day I can return to a sense of normalcy, and comfort. The sense of home, and restful nights... mostly because every day, the ones I look forward to being in the company of, are stead-fast.
This is good staying in touch of caring. I can only hope for these moments every day, they are very rewarding.
I do think though, that my lack of motivation to write in the genre of days of old, is because I love... I feel and I am not in dis-accord of my senses. Things appear to make sense. Maybe it's time for a writing career change. I'm not seeking any longer. I have found what I am looking for, and it's everything I hoped it could be.