new journal
well this is my first livejournal entry ever. thought it would be interesting to write my thoughts on an online journal rather than a paper one that my family could find...
kinda bored at the moment. been hanging out at ryl again. geez i love that place... people who don't think im a freak and no longer want to know me just coz i self harm. sigh. nearly all my friends decided they no longer wished to know me after they found out about my si. 'oh i'll always stick by you, i'll be there for you no matter what'. its all bullshit. friends cause nothing but hurt if you ask me. im learning not to trust anybody now. I'm getting better at it too. Things that i would be upset for days over before now only cause a brief period of anger. So now when people disown me Im angry for around an hour then i just don't give a shit. I just avoid the person, hey it's what they want. that paragraph probably didnt make much sense, but who's gonna read this shit anyway.
I've only cut once over these holidays so Im pretty proud about that. they weren't even deep either. Ana even set me free for a little while. that felt pretty good at the time but she's pulled me back into line now which i prefer. i know i deserve it.
i'm feeling kinda apathetic right now. i know i just sounded like i was ranting, that stuffs been in my mind for a while and i just wanted to get it out of me someway. meh.
later
kinda bored at the moment. been hanging out at ryl again. geez i love that place... people who don't think im a freak and no longer want to know me just coz i self harm. sigh. nearly all my friends decided they no longer wished to know me after they found out about my si. 'oh i'll always stick by you, i'll be there for you no matter what'. its all bullshit. friends cause nothing but hurt if you ask me. im learning not to trust anybody now. I'm getting better at it too. Things that i would be upset for days over before now only cause a brief period of anger. So now when people disown me Im angry for around an hour then i just don't give a shit. I just avoid the person, hey it's what they want. that paragraph probably didnt make much sense, but who's gonna read this shit anyway.
I've only cut once over these holidays so Im pretty proud about that. they weren't even deep either. Ana even set me free for a little while. that felt pretty good at the time but she's pulled me back into line now which i prefer. i know i deserve it.
i'm feeling kinda apathetic right now. i know i just sounded like i was ranting, that stuffs been in my mind for a while and i just wanted to get it out of me someway. meh.
later