Through the eyes of others
I have found that, every so often, we are given the chance to see how we look through the eyes of another. It's really easy to see yourself as always being on top of your life, knowing what you are doing, why you are doing it, and what the outcome will be. But really, we don't truly know ourselves. However, sometimes the planets align and we can see what we are. I had one of these times in the car by myself this past weekend. I am not going to get into what I saw, but it was a result of a couple things from the few days before.
One of these was when I went out for drinks with Jaime. While sipping martinis, she told me that her husband thinks of the song The Flight of the Valkyries whenever he sees me. Now, how does one take that interesting bit of information? On one hand (because of my height complex) I thought he was making fun of how big I am. But, it's a great song, and perhaps he was thinking more along the lines of a strong force sweeping through with lots of energy. My response was "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."
The other thing was watching Breakfast at Tiffanys with my father. He had never seen it before and I thought he would like it. When it got to the part where Holly Golightlys ex husband told Paul that, when he asked her to marry him, she said "sure Doc, I've never been married before!" my dad turned to me and said "no wonder you like her...you two have the same spirit". I of course took this as a compliment. I always saw that character as a flighty free spirit who wanted to experience everything! Most others who watch it, I am learning, see her as a lost little girl who jumps board every time things get difficult. I guess for them, that is the easiest way to interpret our longing to never settle into dullness. But they sure like to judge for that. And I don't necessarily agree with the ending...
Anyways...all that was dancing around in my head while I was driving when it hit me...what I see in myself and what others see are very different. And, while some views are very flattering...others...well, they see me as the lost little girl who jumps ship whenever the going gets tough. And one thing I need to come to terms with is that I can't please everyone. I need to please myself. And whoever wants to hop aboard...whatever it is- it won't be boring!
One of these was when I went out for drinks with Jaime. While sipping martinis, she told me that her husband thinks of the song The Flight of the Valkyries whenever he sees me. Now, how does one take that interesting bit of information? On one hand (because of my height complex) I thought he was making fun of how big I am. But, it's a great song, and perhaps he was thinking more along the lines of a strong force sweeping through with lots of energy. My response was "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."
The other thing was watching Breakfast at Tiffanys with my father. He had never seen it before and I thought he would like it. When it got to the part where Holly Golightlys ex husband told Paul that, when he asked her to marry him, she said "sure Doc, I've never been married before!" my dad turned to me and said "no wonder you like her...you two have the same spirit". I of course took this as a compliment. I always saw that character as a flighty free spirit who wanted to experience everything! Most others who watch it, I am learning, see her as a lost little girl who jumps board every time things get difficult. I guess for them, that is the easiest way to interpret our longing to never settle into dullness. But they sure like to judge for that. And I don't necessarily agree with the ending...
Anyways...all that was dancing around in my head while I was driving when it hit me...what I see in myself and what others see are very different. And, while some views are very flattering...others...well, they see me as the lost little girl who jumps ship whenever the going gets tough. And one thing I need to come to terms with is that I can't please everyone. I need to please myself. And whoever wants to hop aboard...whatever it is- it won't be boring!