[rp post - locked to Blues and not_a_shadow]

[silvernblues]

After telling the younger Enzan that he would be over at his house shortly, Blues quickly jotted down a note to his Enzan to let him know where he was going and why. He kept it short and simple, partly because he wanted to leave as soon as possible, and partly because he himself did not know what was going on. He left the note on the kitchen table

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[not_a_shadow]

Enzan was sitting on his bed, cross-legged, looking very tired, pale, and at the moment, frail. His room was cleaner than usual, but only because he'd tucked much of his more 'childish' things - the video games, the manga - into his closet. He didn't really have time for them anymore.

Instead of hugging Blues like he wanted, Enzan seemed to curl into himself. "Hi, Blues."

[silvernblues]

That was all right. Blues was more than willing to take the initiative. He sat down next to Enzan and wrapped one arm around him, trying to pull him closer.

"Hello, Enzan-sama."

[not_a_shadow]

Enzan very hesitantly cuddled into Blues' embrace. "I... did something," he mumbled. "I did something really bad."

[silvernblues]

Blues' other arm moved to complete the hug, not at all phased by Enzan's proclamation. "Oh? And what is that?"

[not_a_shadow]

Enzan took a few breaths. Then, slowly, he told Blues about everything that had happened after the Blaze incident; how he hurt V2 by leaving him, and how V2 had retracted his friendship because of that. Their breakdowns in communication, some of the fights they had... When he got to how V2 had left, he didn't give any excuses. Merely related what he had said, and the few encounters they'd had since then.

Then he was quiet.

[silvernblues]

At the end of the narration, Blues couldn't really think of what to say. In his opinion, the whole situation was a mess, with mistakes being made on all sides. Finally, he sighed and tightened his hug.

"I never did speak with V2 as I promised," he admitted. "There was a small crisis at work and I... forgot." The fact that he had forgotten was rather unnerving, actually. Back when he had been a computer program, he did not forget things unless they were wiped from his memory or his coding had been damaged. "Do you think it would help if I talked to him now?

[not_a_shadow]

"I don't know." Blues' reaction hadn't been as bad as he'd been expecting. "He probably hates me now. He has that right. I just want him to stop... hurting so much."

[silvernblues]

Blues lifted a hand and absently brushed Enzan's hair away from his face. "If it were me, I do not think that I would hate you for what you did. However, I cannot tell how V2 is feeling without talking to him. What I might feel may not apply to what he feels. Still, I do not think he hates you." What he thought V2 actually was feeling, he decided to keep to himself. He was trying to help Enzan feel better, and that would not help.

[not_a_shadow]

"I just want..." He sighed, cutting himself off. He couldn't have what he wanted. "I don't know what to do. I'm trying, I really am."

[silvernblues]

"Sometimes that is all you can do," Blues said, still combing Enzan's hair with his fingers. "Things do not always go our way, Enzan-sama, and we must simply learn to accept that." A pause, then an amendment. "Or, rather, we must make peace with it if it happens. I am not saying that you should give up."

[not_a_shadow]

"How can I make peace with that?" His voice hit a high pitch, and he paused to swallow some of the emotions down. "Sorry."

[silvernblues]

"By acknowledging that you made a mistake, resolving to do you best not to repeat it, and promising to make amends should the opportunity arise. Then it is a matter of putting the matter behind you, moving on, and not dwelling on it until you can do something about it." He straightened out the slight mess he had made of Enzan's hair, then lowered his hand to rest around Enzan again. "If there is nothing you can do, then allowing yourself to become distressed over it accomplishes nothing."

[not_a_shadow]

Might as well tell him not to breathe. Enzan let these things haunt him for quite awhile.

"Hmm."

[silvernblues]

Yes, but if Blues (and perhaps others) repeated this and similar messages to him long enough, perhaps some of it might sink in. Someday.

On an impulse, he lightly kissed the top of Enzan's head and said, "I am still your friend, Enzan-sama."

[not_a_shadow]

Enzan blinked, looking up. "Really?"

[silvernblues]

Blues smiled. "Of course. Why would I not be?"