[rp post]

[silvernblues]

After Blues left Enzan in the park, he didn't immediately go to find someplace to stay the night. Instead, he just started walking, not paying attention to where he was going. He really did need time to think. Eventually, he teleported to the Nexus, but once there, he had no idea why he'd come. He sat down where he was and pulled his legs to his

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[injuuin_enzan]

Blues was wandering the Nexus on his own, more out of boredom than anything else. He spotted the human Blues nearby and blinked, hesitating briefly before approaching. The other looked upset about something.

"Are you alright?"

[silvernblues]

Blues glanced at his alternate, then shook his head. "No, I am not." He didn't immediately offer an explanation, though. It hadn't really occurred to him that he might talk about his problem with another Blues.

[injuuin_enzan]

"What's wrong?" Blues asked. "Enzan troubles?" It was the only reason he could think of that a Blues would be upset.

[silvernblues]

"I suppose that is one way to put it." Blues rested his chin on his knees, not really looking at anything now. "Enzan-sama was LOLed into disliking the nature of our relationship. That was not his fault. How he handled it, though... It hurt."

[injuuin_enzan]

"That's understandable," Blues replied, sitting down beside his alt. "What did he do?"

[silvernblues]

Having someone sitting next to him provided a vague comfort which Blues appreciated. "He did not tell me that his feelings for me had changed. I was left to guess the reasons for his behavior on my own. I told him..." He paused to swallow a lump in his throat. "I told him we could not have a relationship if he could not trust me enough to tell me how he is feeling even if he knows that his answer will hurt me."

[injuuin_enzan]

Blues nodded thoughtfully. "What was your Enzan's childhood like?" He paused briefly before explaining, "I know this may be nosy, but I am going somewhere with this."

[silvernblues]

"Which part?" Blues asked cautiously. "His early childhood or his teenage years?"

[injuuin_enzan]

"His teenage years." He knew it was a touchy subject, but it would help him understand.

[silvernblues]

Blues sighed. No, he didn't really want to talk about it. "He was in a mental institution. I was not with him. All I know of what he was like then is what he has told me, and none of it was pleasant."

[injuuin_enzan]

Ah hah. "That makes sense. Being in a place like that, he would have been taught subconsciously that the only way to not be hurt would be to not tell people his true feelings. Teachings at the subconscious level are very hard to break. It is not your fault, and it is not his fault."

[silvernblues]

It did make sense, but it didn't solve the problem. "Then what do I do? If he always conceals his feelings from me, how can I know if he is hurting or uncomfortable or if I have somehow offended him?"

[injuuin_enzan]

"You deal with it with patience. And if you notice he is acting differently, ask him about it, and don't accept 'it's nothing' or 'don't worry about it' as answers. And keep in mind, it has been scientifically proven that most human men have trouble talking about their emotions."

Blues smiled wryly. "It was hell getting my Enzan to talk freely about some things."

[silvernblues]

Blues smiled wryly, the first time he'd smiled in what felt like ages. "Does that mean I am going to have difficulty talking about my emotions, too?"

[injuuin_enzan]

"You're a Blues. It's a given." Blues chuckled. "Joking aside, you still seem to have the mindset of a navi in some areas, so you will think differently."

[silvernblues]

"Is that a bad thing?" Blues asked, his smile fading. "Will that make it difficult for me to understand Enzan-sama?"