(no subject)
i find that i become too optomistic with girls. i become too happy and carried away by all the good things. but then things can change. why should i bother chasing after them? why should i bother with anyone farther than the city? i should force myself to just meet and stick with people in the city. that way there is less chance of them leaving, less chance for me to get hurt by stupid things.
ive realized that my optomistic attitude with girls brings a pessimistic attitute towards the rest of my life. two perfect opposites. im never really happy unless im with someone, and im never with someone. so if im with someone i feel really happy, otherwise, i dont.
tonight sucked ass. i was with friends and we had nothing to do so we just spent hours and hours wandering the building to look for something to do. this school sucks. so we chilled with some people in some dorms, we were having a good time. then i went to the hallway to hack with some friends. unfortunetly two girls got drunk off of my booze, and unforunetly both these girls like me. i definetly dont like them in that way. i spent hours trying to get them to calm down, and to get them off my back. it wasnt until 3:30 that i was able to get rid of them. i hope they are okay. one of them cuts herself though, i seriously hope she doesnt cut herself because of me.
when i finally got back to my dorm i needed someone to talk to. jenny didnt answer her phone. how dissapointing. once again i expect too much from girls, and when i dont get what i wanted i get depressed. this is where my pessimistic attitude comes out. and this is where my journal entry ends. ill probably have more to say tomorrow, otherwise theres always another depressing weekend following this one.
p.s. one of the only good things about today is that i might go to florida to swim with sharks with my friend becky for my bday. or i should say, for our bday, because we were both born on the same day (except that im a year older).
ive realized that my optomistic attitude with girls brings a pessimistic attitute towards the rest of my life. two perfect opposites. im never really happy unless im with someone, and im never with someone. so if im with someone i feel really happy, otherwise, i dont.
tonight sucked ass. i was with friends and we had nothing to do so we just spent hours and hours wandering the building to look for something to do. this school sucks. so we chilled with some people in some dorms, we were having a good time. then i went to the hallway to hack with some friends. unfortunetly two girls got drunk off of my booze, and unforunetly both these girls like me. i definetly dont like them in that way. i spent hours trying to get them to calm down, and to get them off my back. it wasnt until 3:30 that i was able to get rid of them. i hope they are okay. one of them cuts herself though, i seriously hope she doesnt cut herself because of me.
when i finally got back to my dorm i needed someone to talk to. jenny didnt answer her phone. how dissapointing. once again i expect too much from girls, and when i dont get what i wanted i get depressed. this is where my pessimistic attitude comes out. and this is where my journal entry ends. ill probably have more to say tomorrow, otherwise theres always another depressing weekend following this one.
p.s. one of the only good things about today is that i might go to florida to swim with sharks with my friend becky for my bday. or i should say, for our bday, because we were both born on the same day (except that im a year older).