reoccuring themes are not a hit at the box office
I've been having dreams lately. I don't usually remember dreams but these type, I do. I haven't had them in about two years. they're the kind that you wake up and feel scared, not afraid of something, but scared. it takes you a moment to realize that it didn't happen but much longer for the feelings of what happened in them to go away. two nights ago, I dreamt of kim for the first time, even two years later I can say it wasn't a long enough gap. this dream was weird though, the same kind as before but there was something different about it. in this dream, Kim name was Julia. I didn't realize it until I woke up. the person I saw with my mind's eye was Kim's body, but my mind told me that it was Julia. everyone called her Julia even me. While in the dream, I looked at her and thought: Kim. but when I talked to her m thoughts switched and I thought Julia. I still can't shake the weird dread feeling I got from that dream. and last night I dreamt the same kind of dream, only Kim wasn't in it, only Julia. I think I know why they were the same person in my dream. I can see a lot of similiarities between what happened with Kim and I and what is happening with Julia and I. There are differences. a lot. but some things are exactly the same. I don't like to compare people and I usually try really hard not to. these connections I made were very subconcious. They aren't fair and If I could, I would make myself not see them.
well This christmas looks like I wont be alone for unlike the last two. I just might be home for it. that is if I get some money in the next couple days to make it home on. I've lived on $7 for the last 3 days, it ran out today. it snowed today and lots of people came out to enjoy it. it was the first time I'd left the apartment by myself in a while. I walked along a lady with a cane across an intersection going the opposite direction that I was originally heading because the streets were icy, she gave me a suspicious look. there was a car trying to make it up a little hill and two people were behind it trying to push it. I helped them push it and they said thanks. the whole thing reminded me of a melancholy 90's music video, the ones where the person is singing the song while doing all these things during their walk kind of like bittersweet symphony, but a little different. I'm listening to a song that IS exactly how I feel right now, I'll ask the barista what band it is...the song is over though and he hasn't looked yet and I think the cd player doesnt go back to the last cd and song when you hit the back track button. maybe I shall never know the song that was playing inside me today. the barista is a nice guy, I'm kind of a regular here at this coffee shop, although I think Josh is more so.
oh the song was by sigour ros (spelling?) I'm surprised I didn't realize it was them. although I dont know which song.
I've had this song on my mind lately too
I never
by Rilo Kiley
I'm only a woman
Of flesh and bone
And I wept much
We all do
I thought I might die alone
But I had never never never never never never never never never never never met you
So baby be good to me
I've got nothing to give you, you see
except everything, everything, everything, everything
All the good
And the bad
Cause I've been bad
I've lied, cheated, stolen, and been ungrateful for what I had
And I'm afraid habits rule my waking life
I'm scared
And I'm running in my sleep
For you
But all of the oceans and rivers and showers will wash it all away
And make me clean
For you
Cause I had never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never met you
So let's take a loan out
Put it down on a house
In a place we've never lived
in a place that exists
In the pages of scripts and
the songs that they sing
And all the beautiful things
That make you weep but
Don't have to make you weak
Cause I never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never loved somebody
The way I loved you.
ok so you guys all have a wonderful evening, and we shall see how the morrow goes yeah?
k.
well This christmas looks like I wont be alone for unlike the last two. I just might be home for it. that is if I get some money in the next couple days to make it home on. I've lived on $7 for the last 3 days, it ran out today. it snowed today and lots of people came out to enjoy it. it was the first time I'd left the apartment by myself in a while. I walked along a lady with a cane across an intersection going the opposite direction that I was originally heading because the streets were icy, she gave me a suspicious look. there was a car trying to make it up a little hill and two people were behind it trying to push it. I helped them push it and they said thanks. the whole thing reminded me of a melancholy 90's music video, the ones where the person is singing the song while doing all these things during their walk kind of like bittersweet symphony, but a little different. I'm listening to a song that IS exactly how I feel right now, I'll ask the barista what band it is...the song is over though and he hasn't looked yet and I think the cd player doesnt go back to the last cd and song when you hit the back track button. maybe I shall never know the song that was playing inside me today. the barista is a nice guy, I'm kind of a regular here at this coffee shop, although I think Josh is more so.
oh the song was by sigour ros (spelling?) I'm surprised I didn't realize it was them. although I dont know which song.
I've had this song on my mind lately too
I never
by Rilo Kiley
I'm only a woman
Of flesh and bone
And I wept much
We all do
I thought I might die alone
But I had never never never never never never never never never never never met you
So baby be good to me
I've got nothing to give you, you see
except everything, everything, everything, everything
All the good
And the bad
Cause I've been bad
I've lied, cheated, stolen, and been ungrateful for what I had
And I'm afraid habits rule my waking life
I'm scared
And I'm running in my sleep
For you
But all of the oceans and rivers and showers will wash it all away
And make me clean
For you
Cause I had never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never met you
So let's take a loan out
Put it down on a house
In a place we've never lived
in a place that exists
In the pages of scripts and
the songs that they sing
And all the beautiful things
That make you weep but
Don't have to make you weak
Cause I never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never loved somebody
The way I loved you.
ok so you guys all have a wonderful evening, and we shall see how the morrow goes yeah?
k.