The Numpty List
As a way of continually reminding myself to be careful out there, I have decided to keep a sort of “Numpty List” here on LJ, comprising of the specific numpties that I have encountered while riding.
Hopefully this will become a way I can debrief with myself and learn safer road techniques, and with any luck at all it may be mildly amusing to others.
And so, to catch us up to this morning’s ride I present to you:
...Previously on ‘The Numpty List’
In the first week of riding to work I had the fellow who decided that we could both share the lane while stopped at the lights - especially if he got me to move over by running his tyre up against my boot. (The foot I had placed on the ground after coming to a complete stop at least 30 seconds previously)
In the first month of riding - no less than three charming chaps running red lights as I waited for my green. Actually, my light was already green and the car behind me slowly creeping up my ass because everyone knows that bikes take off like rockets at lights. If I had I would have been a hood ornament.
Last month - Mr Impatient in the Commodore decided that his lane wasn’t travelling fast enough, and so accelerated and pulled into the left hand lane to overtake. I was several vehicles back and just observing this as he then had to brake quickly as the left hand lane wasn’t in fact travelling as fast as he thought it was. The fully laden cement mixer that he cut in front of (without signalling of course) did try to stop in time, but no manner of good grace was ever going to stop that amount of mass in time.
Last week - While riding down Northbourne on the way to work in the left hand lane, a white station wagon decides to move into my lane. No signals (again) and luckily, rather slowly, as I was level with his side mirror at the time of him starting his maneuver. He didn’t stop until I was moving into the cycle lane to avoid him and I reached out to knock at his passenger window. The look on his face was pure “Where did you come from?”
And now, to this morning.
Pulling onto the Barton Highway just before the start of the GDE is always entertaining. The Highway merges from two down to one lane and the left turn lane from Gungahlin stays as its own lane. Just a few hundred metres down the road however is the right hand turn into North Lyneham, and the line up of cars waiting to turn there always stretches back to the overpass.
This tends to make those coming up the highway bound for Northbourne a little tetchy, and quick to jump into the new left hand lane. Those of us in that lane know to keep and eye out for them, and this morning was no exception.
I had slowed to allow that rarest of mergers, one who indicates and head-checks, into my lane when the look on his face made me turn quickly to my left. Luckily I was just in time to avoid the Volkwagon that was behind me now driving up my left hand side using the cyclepath and nearly my left leg. He accelerated to get past me and then had to bury his car’s nose into the tarmac to avoid hitting the fully-laden workers ute that I had slowed to allow into our lane.
Being not overly joyful at this moron’s actions I pulled right, avoided the accident, and then proceeded to stare meaningfully at the driver through his window. He did his best to not look at the hulking shape outside his car, even going so far as to put his hand up against the glass to block his view.
I had noticed that in the front passenger seat of the VW was a young girl in the uniform of my school so I pulled back and sat behind him the rest of the trip. That meant that hide as he might, this unfortunate numpty watched as he was followed all the way to the school, and then only to have the biker follow him into the carpark as well. He dropped his daughter off and sped off - a real top bloke leaving his daughter like that, as I imagine he has no idea I am a teacher here.
Yep, another shining example of human kind.
Hopefully this will become a way I can debrief with myself and learn safer road techniques, and with any luck at all it may be mildly amusing to others.
And so, to catch us up to this morning’s ride I present to you:
...Previously on ‘The Numpty List’
In the first week of riding to work I had the fellow who decided that we could both share the lane while stopped at the lights - especially if he got me to move over by running his tyre up against my boot. (The foot I had placed on the ground after coming to a complete stop at least 30 seconds previously)
In the first month of riding - no less than three charming chaps running red lights as I waited for my green. Actually, my light was already green and the car behind me slowly creeping up my ass because everyone knows that bikes take off like rockets at lights. If I had I would have been a hood ornament.
Last month - Mr Impatient in the Commodore decided that his lane wasn’t travelling fast enough, and so accelerated and pulled into the left hand lane to overtake. I was several vehicles back and just observing this as he then had to brake quickly as the left hand lane wasn’t in fact travelling as fast as he thought it was. The fully laden cement mixer that he cut in front of (without signalling of course) did try to stop in time, but no manner of good grace was ever going to stop that amount of mass in time.
Last week - While riding down Northbourne on the way to work in the left hand lane, a white station wagon decides to move into my lane. No signals (again) and luckily, rather slowly, as I was level with his side mirror at the time of him starting his maneuver. He didn’t stop until I was moving into the cycle lane to avoid him and I reached out to knock at his passenger window. The look on his face was pure “Where did you come from?”
And now, to this morning.
Pulling onto the Barton Highway just before the start of the GDE is always entertaining. The Highway merges from two down to one lane and the left turn lane from Gungahlin stays as its own lane. Just a few hundred metres down the road however is the right hand turn into North Lyneham, and the line up of cars waiting to turn there always stretches back to the overpass.
This tends to make those coming up the highway bound for Northbourne a little tetchy, and quick to jump into the new left hand lane. Those of us in that lane know to keep and eye out for them, and this morning was no exception.
I had slowed to allow that rarest of mergers, one who indicates and head-checks, into my lane when the look on his face made me turn quickly to my left. Luckily I was just in time to avoid the Volkwagon that was behind me now driving up my left hand side using the cyclepath and nearly my left leg. He accelerated to get past me and then had to bury his car’s nose into the tarmac to avoid hitting the fully-laden workers ute that I had slowed to allow into our lane.
Being not overly joyful at this moron’s actions I pulled right, avoided the accident, and then proceeded to stare meaningfully at the driver through his window. He did his best to not look at the hulking shape outside his car, even going so far as to put his hand up against the glass to block his view.
I had noticed that in the front passenger seat of the VW was a young girl in the uniform of my school so I pulled back and sat behind him the rest of the trip. That meant that hide as he might, this unfortunate numpty watched as he was followed all the way to the school, and then only to have the biker follow him into the carpark as well. He dropped his daughter off and sped off - a real top bloke leaving his daughter like that, as I imagine he has no idea I am a teacher here.
Yep, another shining example of human kind.