(no subject)
So I woke up this morning to yelling. The yelling was not at me but my little sister. Who happens to be graduating today. So I the put my pillow over my head and go back to sleep. Then wake up to yelling again and who is you ask my little sister and parents. So when I actually get out of bed no one is home. It's not like I had anything to do today.
So about 30 min later my dad comes home with a laptop I ask "who is that for" my father says "you sister". I'm like oh great look what she got and I got nothing. So then 10 min my sister and mom come home. Mom points out the laptop and my sister then goes in her room to change. She comes out to find the laptop is in my parents room. She then goes to the door and begins to open the door when it is hut in her face. She then says loudly "I know what it is its a laptop". Mom then comes out and says "your father is crying". Little sister then goes in the room to comfort my father. Mom the yells at me for not moving it when her and my sister got home. I then yell back at her and tell her "you shouldn't have pointed it out to her". She then shuts up.
Dad comes out after ruth. He gives her the box and she asked "what is it?". Dad goes "it is a laptop, happy graduation". I then look at my sister with a what the fuck look. He then begins to show her what is inside the box and tells her what everything is used for. She opens it up and starts it up a tear runs down my face and then I quickly dry my eyes. She looks at me and I turn my face. Dad sits in his chair, which so happens to be next to me, and looks at me.
I get up from where I am at because I can't hold in my tears any longer and starts to cry. I am saying to myself "what the fuck she has been so bad to them... she is the fuck up of the family... I got jack shit for my graduation... Jessica your prom dress, graduation announcements and yearbook are your presents we love you... Little sisters got a dress that was more than mine, graduation announcements and year book not for a graduation present... your the good one... older sister got a TV... I hate my family." That is what was running threw my head.
I then decide to wipe up my tears and wash my face. As I walk to the bathroom my sister looks at me and I close the door the are remarks said but i don't know what they were. I open the door and come back to my seat and sit down and finish watching my movie. my sister then goes I need a bathing suit take me to "Ross". I tag along because if I didn't get out of the house I was going to blow up!!!!.
We are at "Ross" and I go off on my own I don't give a shit about anyone at that point I didn't even give a shit about my self. I just didn't want to be here. I had thoughts racing threw my mind. If I could drive I would have went to the beach or to a park or to somewhere to hit something. That would have aloud me to take my anger out. So I was in the home section and find a nice throw blanket and buy it because it would go lovely in my room. As I am checking out my sister comes back in to buy another bathing suit and gives me the change to take to our mom.
We get home and my sister is searching for her phone. She finds out where it is in Occoe and we all hop in to get her phone and something to eat.
As we are on our way home she asked "Why I wasn't coming to her graduation" my reply was "I have to babysit" she goes "Ohh" I reply "why didn't you come to mine?". A stupid sorry was all I got.
We all get home and she is buddy buddy with me. What ever she is so fake I am tired of my family I am the good one I know I am and I don't really get the respect I need. I am the one that is forgotten and have no one to really talk to I hate my family. So here I sit waiting to get picked up for babysitting crying my eyes out because I am so mad and don't feel I can show my feeling to my family. I am the strong one I am the trusty one. I am just not going to be here when they need me. When they are old and can't do anything. So sorry sisters you take care of them I gave up my freshmen year of college. Have fucking fun......... FUCK YOU ALL.